Friday, November 28, 2008

Thanks?
Okay, so heres the deal, every thanksgiving we go up to Colorado to visit family. We stay with my grandparents then go over to my grandma's sisters place to have turky and visit. no problem right? wrong.
my grandpa had surgery on his throat (i forget why) and developed a blood clot in his lung. so he was at the hospital. my mom and aunt (who i never get to see because she lives so far away (alaska)) stayed with him all day. and she left this morning. plus i was hoping to be with my younger cousins on thanksgiving day but they went to their dad's house for thanksgiving, so i just got to sit around with a buch of people that were at least 20 years older then me.
i have no idea what to be thankful for, it feels like everything went wrong....

and now im stuck in my grandma and grandpa's HUGE ass house all by myself, its a little creepy..... just the empty feeling....
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Sunday, November 23, 2008

11/23/08
AnimeAngel993 slept over at my house last night. we got up swiftly and in no time had a breakfast of eggs and canadian bacon. i helped cook, i made the scrambled eggs for myself and cooked the canadian bacon, this was a huge step for me, seeing as i never cook. My heart is always in getting out of the house lately, i take any oportunity i get to escape. i am constantly wanting to find a model, someone as photogenic as Angel and Perit-san (yes you are very nice one camara Angel) and someone who will let me set up a scene to photograph. i can never get it right, i want to make movies but my 'actors' are never commited enough to go with my ideas and make a serious movie. for me its my life, artistic vision, i feel never satacfied with anything i do. and i never feel like i have enough feed back. i wish that the people i want to film and photograph would see me as a director, not just a friend, i wish they would run with my ideas and not want to make a "lets just film ourselves hanging out" video. i hate seeing myself on camera, ABSOLUTLY HATE IT. it makes me cringe, but i love to film people. i want to film people....

speaking of films i saw "changeling" today. Clint Eastwood is an amazing director, the way the shots were set up and the way the sounds added to the scenes made everything work beautifly. sadly it only got two 'Chilly Peppers' (our version of stars) with the critics. they said the acting was bad and that the characters were too one dimentional. you know what i say to that? "no more pot or crack before you go to critique a movie". there were several times when the actors astounded me with their good acting. and i loved most of the characters. the story was good too, chilling and emotional. i double the critics rating to 4/5 stars, its one of my favorite movies now.

and on a more depressing note, i really want a date. im sick of being alone! please, when you comment whoever does, dont say "you'll find some one" i dont want comments on this bit, but i want someone, i feel like something is wrong with me. i haven't even had my first kiss yet...and im in tenth grade....

sorry for emo spurt, here is explanation:
Monster+Chocolate+sitting in a chair venting energy by having mini spaz attacks= very bad crash
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Sunday, November 16, 2008

A tribute to my friends


I love all of you!!
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Wednesday, November 5, 2008

11/5/08
w00t! on a large scale: OBAMA IS PRESIDENT!! did you know that Kenya Africa declared a national holiday today? i find it so cool that Obama is our first Black president, yet kind of sad when you think about it, it took us this long to get over racism? and also, what happend? years ago, durring the civil war and things, the Republicans were the good guys, now they're just fat evil Capitalists! hmmmmmm i think it started with Ralph Naider.....

On a more local scale: we have Pen Pals in chinese now!! we got letters from chinese students writing from their english class. hee hee you could tell they weren't native english speakers "My English is pool". lol, not that my chinese will be any better XD. i cant wait to get to know the person i chose a little better, i chose her because she sounded like me ^_^. her name is Ping.....something. another letter i looked at the name was Xiang Fen and in parenthasies next to the name it said (Angel) so does her name mean 'Angel'? i dunno? so yeah thats the most exiting thing that happend today really.

everyone's all pumped after the elections XD. we held an in school election and these are the results:
156 ppl voted
Green Party: none
Liberal Party: 2
Mcain: 3
Palin: 2 (yes palin got her own votes)
Obama: 149
..........
................
..........lol
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Friday, October 31, 2008

   the world hates me
okay so im all ready for holloween tonight right? i cant wait for my friend to get here and help me finish up my costume then go trick or treating with me, watch horror movies you know? the joy of Hollows Eve. but no, just my luck my friend calls me at the last minute and tells me that she has to do stuff with her family.
i mean she already did this to me once! "i cant go" then suddenly "i can go" now i really dont want to do the party tomorrow and am seriously considering calling it off. im just angry at everything. why doesn't anything ever work out?
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Thursday, October 30, 2008

tomorrow is holloween!!!
and my costume still isn't ready!!!
god dammit, i was thinking of maybe wearing it to school tomorrow but AnimeAngel has to dye my hair for me first. yup im dyeing my hair black ^_^
oh yeah i forgot to mention, i switched back to doing Edward Scissorhands, the Joker is to cliche and my friend who was going with me denies ever wanting to be harly quinn -_-. i caught a cold though, which sucks royal ass. I'm still going though, last year the cold tried to beat me and i gave in, this year i'm beating it back. my dads probably worried though, he has had nmonia like three times in his life so he's the expert on how a cold can change for the worse.
i was gonna write a post last weekend about working in the elemtary schools haunted house, but i got a little tied up and myotaku was having problems. basicly i led kids through the haunted house (im no good at the jump out and scream thing). because my costume wasnt ready i improvised; i wore all black, gloves and beany then painted my face black *which turned out to be like a purpleish, i looked like a burgler blue berry) but it was fun anyway. there were these kids that got so scared they clung to me like baby monkeys, it was sooooooo cute.

lol im trying to do an art for Holloween but i dont think i'll make it for tomorrow....
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Monday, October 27, 2008

what they do in Phillipino prisons
yeah......


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Friday, October 24, 2008

Youtube Users are Homophobes and Racists
erg, the only reason i got a youtube account was really so i could flame flamers and commend good videos. but i mean jesus! i found some old 'Three Stooges' episodes and geez, i'll try to sum it up as best i can:
"this is gay, america sucks, you guys have no good stuff. all your games are failure and you cant make anything good so you attempt to dubb anime but you suck!"
"dude dont judge us by our anime, seriously, only faggs watch it"

another video where a guy jumps out of a garbage can to scare another guy, and in reaction the guy jumps and punches him in the face (it was actually kinda funny XD) keep in mind the guy being 'scared' is black. heres the comment:
"stupid Nigga, they are to violent"

god, i hate youtubers, they are the most racist homophobic, xenophobic bunch on the internet.
and my final rant is i randomly got a private message on my youtube that was basicly:
"you dumb shit faggot. you should kill yourself, a fag like you doesn't deserve to live"
i think i get half my emotional issues from youtube, i mean really
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Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Responce to last post
today was better, my parents had desided to take today off but halfway through the night after i had calmed down i went to my dad and told him i would go to school tomorrow. and i did, i actually wasn't hardly pissed at anyone all day. i found out one of the guys i hated previously is actually pretty cool and likes Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess (my favorite game). and chinese was just amazingly fun for some reason. i mean we didn't even do anything different today. i think i must have been high or something (even though i didn't do any drugs before it, i dont do drugs period) but i was just happy through the whole thing.
i think it was the phone call exersise that made me laugh:
Hello
Hello
is _____ there?
i am ______ who is this?
I am ______ what are you doing?
I am writing Chinese characters. what are you doing?
I am drawing. goodbye
goodbye

i mean what?
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Tuesday, October 21, 2008

I hate life
Okay so lets just set the mood:
No Good friends at school for over a year
Can't talk to only person who keeps me sane until i make a friend
everyone ate school must think im a psyco collumbine status (screw spelling i dont give a fuck)
everyone must think i'm over reacting about my life
i feel like shit becuase i'm crying over things when my friends have it worse
i want to cut myself half the time but i hate pain so i dont have the guts to.
i constantly need an escape from reality, rping is my favorite escape but now the only person who would do it with me Every Day refuses to talk to me.
my parents dont seem to understand.
I've got fucking annoying moths all over my room and no matter how many i kill they keep coming back.
the wiring in the lights in my room is shit.
my grades are slumping
no one i talk to ever makes me feel better
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