Wednesday, January 11, 2012

I Hate My Job
This is bullshit! this is never what I wanted to do! I wanna do something where I move around not sit around all day and do fuck all... I need something different...
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Tuesday, January 10, 2012

I know!
Yes! it is a cry for attention... but I don't cry very often... please help me...
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Monday, January 9, 2012

All I wanted
All I wanted was one fucking day! I've sat through every one of your moments... I've fucked things up with girls that I really liked to sit down and talk with you when you were going through a hard time... Hell I even bussed at ten or eleven at night when I was busy trying to watch a movie with Ash... You KNOW how I felt about her.... But I fucked it all up just to comfort you... and the one time I need you... All I get is a "Everything is gonna be okay" then you nap, check your facebook, and leave.... How is any of this fair to me? It's not... FUCK YOU! I cried today... and You'll probably never know what you did... I get it your life is more important to you than I am but I put you ahead of my own needs... I see how it is now... Not forever and always... that would imply that you cared... But you don't and I'm done with this bullshit...
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Thursday, January 5, 2012

...
is this as good as it gets? Please give me a sign that life will get better.... I feel like I'm losing my best friend... I haven't been in a relationship that I wanted to be in in over 2 years... I forget that feeling... I want to feel it again... I need a boost... life is too hard right now... I'm getting my money under control... But I can't find a nice girl... no matter how hard I try... then I get to wondering if I should just end it... But I know that that won't do anything... I just wanna cry... But I can't... and I'm sick of people coming to me with their problems and I don't have anyone to talk to about mine... and when I try I get told to grow up... maybe I should just stop caring... people complain about break ups.... I can't even start a relationship... I hate life right now... Please please! let it get better!
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Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Hope I die before before I get old
I dunno if I've written about this before but I got to thinkin today. One of my coworkers was working in his office and all of a sudden his ears went numb and and got dizzy... he went to the hospital... I mean that's just fucked up... I don't want to be like that... My grandma can't even walk by herself... I don't wanna get old and just be sick all the time... Scares the hell outta me... If I ever need to depend on anyone for anything like that I don`t think I will be able to do it... Fuck My Life!
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Thursday, December 29, 2011

Bro Hymn
To all my friends, present past and beyond
Especially those who weren't with us too long
Life is the most precious thing you can lose
While you were here the fun was never ending
Laugh a minute was only beginning
Canton, Colvin, Nichols, this one's for you

Ever get the feeling you can't go on
Just remember whose side it is that you're on
You've got friends with you till the end
If you're ever in a tough situation
We'll be there with no hesitation
Brotherhood's our rule we cannot bend

Whoa oh oh oh oooooooooooooooooooooh

When you're feeling too close to the bottom
You know who it is you can count on
Someone will pick you up again
We can conquer anything together
All of us are bonded forever
If I die you die that's the way it is

Whoa oh oh oh oooooooooooooooooooooh

To all my friends, present past and beyond
To all those who weren't with us too long
Life is the most precious thing you can lose
While you were here the fun was never ending
Laugh a minute was only the beginning
Canton, Colvin, Nichols, this one's for you

Whoa oh oh oh oooooooooooooooooooooh
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Monday, December 19, 2011

Cyn's Christmas party
Went down to the community center on Sanford Fleming yesterday for Cyn's Christmas party... Cyn works for Visions of Independence or some noise. She is basically a caretaker for people who are not fit to take care of themselves... anyway I left early because being around some of those people freaked me out a bit I think... I feel like a bad person but I just couldn't stay...

But on the lighter side Cyn's assistant manager is hot as hell :D
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Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Lies...
Why must I keep lying to the world?... I am miserable but I play it off and everyone thinks my life is so perfect because I act happy... I mean life is short and I try to be as happy as possible... but I'm never as healthy as everyone seems to think I am... I woke up today and thought what's the point of even getting out of bed?

Helping people makes me feel good but it has to be something they couldn't do themselves... volunteer work seems kinda pretentious... I mean what's the point of pouring soup for poor people? it's kinda pointless... My life needs reason and I must find it... Good luck...
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Hello
I haven't smoked any pot in almost a week and all I was smoking all that much... maybe a bowl a day... 2 if I was feeling fun... Since I stopped I feel like I'm spiraling into a downward depression... and I can't seem to find a way out... I need a partner... I need a good girl that wants to be with me... someone who is always fun to be around... I feel like I'll never find that special someone... It hurts so bad... Help? Please? Anyone?

Gonna buy a 1/2oz. next week... I hope I can wait that long... I can't do anything right without the mental stability drugs have to offer me...

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Thursday, December 8, 2011

Thinkin'
Last night I got to thinking... I've become everything I said I never would... is that just how life is?

I smoke weed and cigs... and even worse I'm a fucking pencil pusher... and so deep in debt that I am having one helluva time getting out... I hope things work out... three years ago I had three thousand dollars in the bank... now I have dug myself in too deep... But I guess sometimes you need to make sacrifices to help friends.... right? ... ...
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