Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Today.... well yesterday now
ok, where to start.... went bathing suit shopping with kendra and rachael, waited around at the mall for a couple hours, went to my interview at moxie's, got the job, just under 10 bucks per hour and 20-25 hours per week... went to the pool party, was alot of fun... went to erica's, got home and I dad was a bitch again... I went out with the van again this morning... alot of fun!!!

working friday and sunday @ 4PM

I hafta go to some damn wedding, I don't wanna go but my parents won't let me stay home because they are paranoid that now that I have a girlfriend I will automatically start fucking her like a jackrabbit when we have a day alone.... fuckkkkkk, lol
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Friday, July 27, 2007

Irony
sometimes irony can be so ironic.... the day I find out that I have lost the rest of my shifts at shopper's, a new place calls to give me a job interview.... it was moxie's I am so happy about it... interview, tuesday 3:00PM... I hope I get the job I need it, plus it will be better than working full time nights at tim's...
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Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Back in it
oh yeah, what a rush, I fuckin' love driving alone... no one to critisize me... I know I am more than good enough to drive around people... I beat mikey in a race today, hahaha! so much fun! can't wait to do it again!!!
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Friday, July 20, 2007

Screwed over
ya think he heard me? whatever, I have the perfect excuse for this, as childish and lame as it may sound.... it will work... it was all my fault...
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Thursday, July 19, 2007

Poems.......Remember?.......
the sky is blue, but my heart seems clouded.
if there is a solution, i have not yet found it.
nobody seems to understand what i'm trying to explain.
no matter what happens, about him i feel the same.
i'm beginning to realize, with fear in my heart.
that alone i am now, like i was from the start.
i shouldn't have told him, shouldn't have caved.
for what i have done, i am greatly ashamed.


if i am sleeping, is this a dream, or a nightmare?
when am i going to wake up? do i want to wake up?
should i beleive what is happening, or should i be afraid?
should i try to make myself wake up, or am i already awake?
am i here alone, or is someone else with me?
if i am not alone, who is here with me, why are they hiding?
whats going to happen when i wake up, will i forget all this?
what if i never wake up, what will happen then?
will i be trapt in this place forever?
if i never wake up, is there another way out?
if i do find another way out, what will it be?
where will this lead me, will i be alone there?
what if that place is also just another trap?
what if no matter how hard i look, i won't find anything but places like this?
is there nothing else out there, nothing at all?
and if there is, what is it like, where is it?
how to i get to this other place,is there anyone else there?
what if i just spend the rest of my life asking these question?
will i ever get an answer??
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Are you serious?
you fucking jackass! just because I don't hang out with you everyday doesn't mean you can go bashing my other friends... SORRY! but since grade 4 things have changed... what we have done since then I have done twice as much with my new friends in half the time... things are different now... I have more friends and I can't hang out with one solely... I need to make time for all my friends and trust me it's a fucking pain in the ass... I should ditch all the other ones and only have like 3 friends... whatever, it's too fucked up right now
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Wednesday, July 18, 2007

driving
last night I went out driving, oh that was so fun, burnt so much rubber :P I think I justy about flipped the van too, hahaha. I can't wait to do it again!

Mikey is such a jerk, he is jealous that I won't hang out with him today but I had already made plans with someone else.... fuck, what a fucking retard....
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Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Bullshit
2 more bikes gone, just like that, piss me right off, eh? I came home last night from a movie, the gate was open so I decided to check it out.... both my bikes were gone... honestly, a wallet and 3 bikes..... my luck can't gte much worse right now... I guess I'm not one to complain... I guess when someone you really care about has a nervous break down and gets thrown in a psyche ward then you have a reason to freak out...

so last night at about a quarter to 1, my dad goes out and buys beer, claims he can't sleep so he goes out at 1 in the fucking morning to get some fucking beer, seriously, what the FUCK, can't you control yourself for one more night instead of going out that late at night for FUCKING BEER... whatever man, I've given up on you a while ago anyway
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Sunday, June 24, 2007

Sorry
I wonder how many more times I have to say it, I made you cry today and I wish I knew how to stop it, the only way would be to keep my mouth shut, I just want you to forgive me...
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Thursday, June 21, 2007

Wow
I never realized exactly to the full extent how bad of a friend I was that night at britanne's party... I'm really sorry... it's one of the few things that I actually regret...
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