Wednesday, December 7, 2011

what's up?
I don't really have a whole lot to say... just thought I would check up on this... I'm still alive...

Learning to skate... not getting the hang of it really quick... I've only been out once so far... going again tonight... I've given up on way too many things but not this... I will learn and I will be good!

Work still sucks!
Comments (0) | Permalink

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Cyn...
So Cyn's pregnant... she had a one night stand... Made me really think about what I've been doing lately.... That's all...
Comments (0) | Permalink

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Mental
So this evening I am going to a bi-polar support group with Cyn... I hope that goes well... I bet I'll be bored as hell but oh well, kill an evening anyway.

Never ended up meeting Holly... Jesse had to work so she did not come hang out...

Work sucks!
Comments (0) | Permalink

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Nervous...
I'm probably meeting Holly on Saturday... I hope she likes me or something.... thinks I'm cool, whatever. Not expecting anything, she has a boyfriend but I heard he is a total douche. I'm pretty nervous, not really good at meeting girls.... I hope I don't make an ass outta myself... I could really use some pot.....

I feel I've fucked my life up.... I smoke cigs and weed... Never woulda happened if it were just me.... but I had outside influence... I'll quit one day... but not today...

Wish me luck ;)
Comments (0) | Permalink

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

C'monnnn!
Guys! Fuckin smarten up! We've been friends for years... why does shit have to fuck up now? Codey and Cyn are going through a rough patch and I really don't want to get involved... Scares the hell outta me man! I hope everything gets better soon...
Comments (0) | Permalink

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Hello Home Away From Home
I've been doing this for a long long time... and I'm sure I will keep writing for another long long time... at least until I have no more problems... you can tell how many issues I am having because it is directly related to how often I post. It helps me get through stuff...

So what's new?

hmmm, Rachael broke up with that Josh character from Selkirk... I'm really happy for her

I'm gonna meet this girl, Holly, in I guess a couple of weeks or so... but for now, gonna finish my shift, go home, get stoned and play some vids
Comments (0) | Permalink

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Same stuff
Sometimes life can be funny...

I drove down the extra foods and grabbed my credit card and not 2 days later a new card came in the mail. haha.

So I think I may have a thing for Jesse.... I'm gonna try really hard not to let it go any further though. I can't take anymore heartbreak... I feel like my hearts been ripped out, stomped on sliced open, thrown in a vice and tightened, welded back together shitilly and poorly placed back into my fucking chest. not from anyone in particular... it's just a guy can only take so much, y'know? I feel like I'm gonna snap.... I want to find someone like Jesse... Or I guess someone who reminds me of me... I need someone I can be around for a long period of time but who also realizes I need my space...

Oh yeah, Cyn and Codey are having issues... I refuse to get involved... they are my two best friends and I am scared to get in between it, I feel it may end up with someone asking me to choose... and whoever asks me to choose will get the boot... I remember in high school Erica had asked me to choose between her and Rachael, who at the time was my girl friend... I told Erica straight up, it's not you... How can you even ask someone something like that? People are fucking stupid.
Comments (0) | Permalink

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Jesse
Alright, so cyn has this new friend. her name is jesse. she's really cute and I have found more similarities with her in 1 hang out then I do with most people in years of hanging out... She's really cool but she's got a boyfriend so I gotta be careful not to slip up and fall or anything.

Lost my credit card, haha, went to the store get some milk for the parents and a pacvk of smokes for me... I paid up, grabbed my receipt and walked out... 2 days later I had realized I didn't grab my credit card -_- luckily they found it there and it's waiting for me :D
Comments (0) | Permalink

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

NOFX - Suits and Ladders
This I guess is currently my favourite song.... or at least it has the most plays on my iPod... Just hit 37 plays hahaha

I got manicured fingers and toes
I got 4 layers of pee-soaked clothes but I'm still condescending
Your as and teeth permanent browned
Your face is permanently frowned and I have everything I want
Your life's gotta really suck
You gotta hustle all day just to make the bucks
To get high enough just to forget about what you've become
You're the one who lives nowhere
You think you're life's more than a game of suits and ladders
When nothing really matters
You're not just fluous, you're superfluous
You don't actually do anything, a human redundancy
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/n/nofx/suits_and_ladders.html ]
40 year old Macallans, 40 Old English ounces
Henry the IV double shot
I just finished a bottle of Old Crow
I just bought a case of Chateau Margaux, not the 95, the 96
Your house is of corrections
Your house is full of collections of crap you bought from selling others out
You're the one who has nothing
Your life is a game of unstable bladders, when nothing really matters
You woke up today covered in droppings (stock or bird)
When the bottom drops, my life won't change a bit but yours will turn to shit
You are a superfluous man, I am a superfluous man
You're quite a superfluous man, I am a superfluous man
Comments (0) | Permalink

Saturday, October 1, 2011

This hurts...
It hurts so bad being alone... it's been over two years.... it gets harder and harder everyday... I feel like no one cares.... there is never anyone there for me... I am alone.... what am I doing wrong? I'm so lost in life... I wanna feel like I felt at the beginning of my few relationships... I wish I could do something about it... now cyn doesn't even wanna hang out as much, cuz I guess she has more important shit to do... I'm always there for her problems but it seems like she doesn't have the time for me... I just wanna die... I don't know.... My head is so fucked up right now... I don't know what I feel.... I feel like I still have feelings for my exes but it's just the loneliness probably.... I can't do this.... I'm freakin' out.... I have no money.... no one to love me..... no one to love.... .... two years.... two fucking years! when will this misery end? it won't... I think I'm at the end of the road... I can't go any further... no point going back.... I guess I'll just pull up a chair and sit for a while... writing this is the only thing that gets me by... two years...
Comments (0) | Permalink