Thursday, May 14, 2009

lonely
lot's on my mind.... dont know where to start. I want to love again but no one will give me that chance. rachael is drinking alot and lowering herself too much. I wish the best for her. cyn is scaring me. I never know if I'll wake up one day and she'll be gone... or hurt.... or whatever. I want to love again like I loved cyn.... but I want it to last forever. why can't I keep feelings for a girl? whatever I dont know, I'm done
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Tuesday, January 20, 2009

I don't know...
I feel wrong lately.... I've so much wrong lately, nothing I do is right and it seems as if people need to point it out and keep bringing it up over and over again...

My dad is pissed off at me cuz I don't wanna do a "real trade".... well guess what I'm gonna be happy cooking.... Watch one day I am gonna be the rich owner of "Welby's".... a homestyle restaurant which will focus on mass taste in every dish using a combination of herbs and spices..... not a dull dish on the menu.... so FUCK YOU, it's my life.... don't you forget....

I can't seem to stay happy for more than a couple hours lately, but seeing as I don't believe in paying someone to tell me what's wrong with me, I guess I am just gonna have to tough it out....
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Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Long time no entry...
Well.... Let's see, I guess it's about time to catch up now isn't it? Me and Cynthia are still together... I'm happy, she's happy, everything is good there... Work.... I want to be a supervisor... I don't think I've ever wanted anything more in my life.... Maybe cuz this is the first thing I think I really deserve..... I am so bored with life... I never know what to do with myself..... and I found out why everyone hates me.... I am apparently a total dick..... and talking to cyn right now she said I was a dick the night we met too....that's about it....
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Sunday, August 3, 2008

Cynthia...
well, I met this girl.... cynthia.... I was wasted at a party last night and she totally took advantage of me, lol... anyway... so shayla says she's crazy and that I am gonna regret it etc etc, she is shayla's curent boyfriend's ex... but I like her, I really like her and I don't care how big of a mistake it is, I wanna do this... wow lot's going on a whole shitload happened since I met her, lol, anyway, I'll prolly check back in a while....


P.S. FUCK PRIMUS BUDDY I AM ALWAYS ON AIM GET YOUR ASS ON THERE IF YOU EVER SEE THIS!!!
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Wednesday, April 2, 2008

well...
ok, so I found out my dad smokes pot, explains the laziness, but does he have to do it in my fucking room? I walk in there and it's all I fucking smell... he is getting worse as an alcoholic, he is getting more drunk every night, he could barely stand last night and couldn't remember whgat he had talked about 5 minutes earlier...

anyway taht aside, I ot my hair dyed green, a lip ring and an earring, 2 days ago now, march 31st. I like it but yeah not much else going on I suppose
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Sunday, February 10, 2008

wow...
looks like no one posts her anymore... I don't cuz I never have time and my account wasn't working for a while... o well... hope everyone is having a good life...
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Monday, December 31, 2007

Okay....
so anyway, I am turning 18 in 2 days, which is gonna be cool, and my dad has been using my sister as an excuse for not getting a job, right? well I said I will drive her in the mornings so now he is apparently gonna get a job... yeah right... right? but yeah, not much more interesting to talk about I hope he's miserable.
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Saturday, December 8, 2007

Well
So this morning I woke up to my dad complaining about my lazy cousin who does nothing but sits around the house... anyone else see the irony? haha... well about taht, my cousin is gonna fail university SO bad lol, he doesn't study, he plays games all night then sleeps through class... lol, I can't wait to see him fail and laugh at him... and my sister doesn't ever go to school anymore... I am gonna laugh at her when she gets expelled from high school for missing so many classes, lol, omg, my family is made up of fucking retards, it's awesome, makes me look that much smarter! HA! my entire family is screwed, it is because of us that the future is so stupid... so let's see... lazy alcoholics.... lazy drop outs... lazy retards... loud rapists... fuck, half my family is going into the fucking hospitals... and I really couldn't care less... fuck I hate my family... oh yeah, adding on, married to deadbeats....
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Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Everything
gas is expensive.... Got a promotion at work, gonna be a cook now.... that guy I was talking about has done so much good for ken... what else? good stuff has happened alot lately but also alot of shit, my dad is complaining because of something that didn't happen... I mean what the fuck, if oyu hate being at home so much get a fucknig job! he won't let me see friends anymore because he doesn't like them, well fuck him I have more right in this house than he does, I work AND go to school, I have achieved alot more in the past year than he has in the past 10 years.... I am gonna bring people home just to piss him off, haha, fucking jackass... I swear to god I almost knocked him right out today... calling my friend a pig... not somehting I want to fucking hear I swear I was within an inch of just knocking him on his ass... I had to bite my tongue to stop myself from lashing out... I turned away and clenched my fists to relieve the stress... I swear if he died I wouldn't care... I am not knocking on any wood...

speaking of dying his mom is in the hospital now and she is going into brain surgery tomorrow morning... Never was that close to her... is it wrong that I don't feel sorrow for her? he thinks he can use this as an excuse to get ultra drunk every night... he stinks, he acts stupid, I absolutely hate him especially when he is like that... he was throwing my fucking cats out the fucking door like actually flinging them a good 10, 15 feet, I mean how stupid can one person get? like WHAT THE FUCK!
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Sunday, November 11, 2007

Last night
Was out drinking last night with this bud from work... and one of them is wanted to date ken... and this new guy, something about him, I have a good feeling about him, and that's not normal for me... good times...
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