Monday, March 5, 2007

That night...
That night changed me.... I don't know why... it made me what we believe to be the definition of a "guy". and I hate it.... I don't understand... I don't miss you anymore... I don't know... it's so confusing.... I hate you... but.... I don't.... and I have said this before.... I know.... Oh well. I don't have much else to say.... I had a ton to say.... but I lost it... last night.... it came as a vision with a good reason.... a warning sign.... should I go see you now? you're getting off class in 10 minutes.... maybe not.... he'll be there... I ahte him and I don't know why... it's coming back to me....

you've been bitter ever since you told me the "news" and I don't understand why.... maybe it's just me being stubborn... and maybe I make everyhting you do seem worse than it is... I want you to be happy... do it... disregard all others for once and go all out, do whatever the fuck you want... I swear I only want you to be happy... your eyes have grown boring.... 1 more thing that I don't understand... they seem dull to me as of late and I don't understand! I want to understand!!! I wonder who reads this? rachael... both gregs... the people on my friends list of course.... Bob... Lena? tryna think... that is all the possibilities that I can think of... o well w.e

if it's nice out tonight, I will go for a walk I suppose.... I was out the other night for a walk.... and my dad got mad at me lol, he thought I smoked up or soemthing so I started being sadly sarcastic with him.... haha. o well.... my parents wouldn't care if I did.... like your parents... they would kick your ass if oyu ever did drugs.... and I wish my parents were like that too now.... I wish they were more strict... haven't gottena serious punishment in years.... worst one I can remember is... "your band isn't comiung over until taht room is clean"... I cleaned it and we had fun that day.... why don't they punish me.... they must know I drink... they MUST! I come home 3 at night and puke for fucks sake... maybe they really don't hear it.... which reminds me of a pretty amusing anecdote... I was drinking on my 17th birthday all alone.... I finished about 1/3 of a 40oz of scotch whiskey... I went upstairs cuz I had to puke.... I dropped the bottle and I was apparently drunk enough to puke but not drunk enough to let that bottle hit the ground.... lol.... o god.... drinking alone..... not the worst feeling ever.... would rather be with friends.... even if I do amke a fool of myself...

but yeah... do what you want... caring isn't gonna work.... and I think this is a good idea anyway... who cares what he thinks about this? I hate him......... so does half the people I know that know him.... just saying the truth.... 5:29... I guess I'll go find you now.... might as well right? yeah... cya
Comments (0)