Tuesday, December 4, 2007

*slump*

Linkin Park-By Myself What do I do to ignore them behind me? Do I follow my instincts blindly? Do I hide my pride from these bad dreams And give in to sad thoughts that are maddening? Do I sit here and try to stand it? Or do I try to catch them red-handed? Do I trust some and get fooled by phoniness, Or do I trust nobody and live in loneliness? Because I can't hold on when I'm stretched so thin I make the right moves but I'm lost within I put on my daily façade but then I just end up getting hurt again By myself (Myself) Pre chorus: I ask why, but in my mind I find I can't rely on myself I can't hold on To what I want when I'm stretched so thin It's all too much to take in I can't hold on To anything watching everything spin With thoughts of failure sinking in If I turn my back I'm defenseless And to go blindly seems senseless If I hide my pride and let it all go on Then they'll take from me 'till everything is gone If I let them go I'll be outdone But if I try to catch them I'll be outrun If I'm killed by the questions like a cancer Then I'll be buried in the silence of the answer (By myself) Pre chorus Chorus How do you think I've lost so much I'm so afraid, I'm out of touch How do you expect I will know what to do When all I know is what you tell me to Don't you know I can't tell you how to make it go No matter what I do, how hard I try I can't seem to convince myself why I'm stuck on the outside Chorus (2x) Yeah I had a good day then..it just turned to shit. I dont know... Yeah about the song, if there was song for me that would be the song, always has always will be, for some odd reason. I just feel really depressed right now *slump* Its for numerous reasons, knowing me personally I'm normally happy go lucky and I rarely talk about personal things to any one, like say for instance boyfriend/ girlfriend things I dont talk about to anyone-why?- I'm insecure! And just to tell you ahead of time I'M NOT GAY!! Just pointing that out! Yeah I'm in this mood mainly because after school I was standing by myself and saw all the "happy little couples" and I thought to myself, wow how pathetic am I? I'm 18 and never had a boyfriend!!! Ever!! And for some reason that depressed me so much...*sigh* I dont know I just feel like crying, I dont know what to do with myself, Am I disgusting? Odviously I am, but on a happier note today this girl made me soo happy for some odd reason...at the end of class she just ran over to me and said "Amanda let me take your picture!" and I was like what?!! she was like "I'm having a really bad day and the face you made earlier made me happy so can I take your picture?" so I let her take my picture, it just made me happy ^__^ Well I'm gonna go and be depressed somewhere *slump* Sayonara

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