Sunday, July 13, 2008

okay. i need to get this out somewhere. my life at this point in time have you ever wanted someone so bad that it hurt? laying in bed with that person night after night and knowing that even wanting that person was wrong? welcome to my life. i'm in love with my best friend. and this revelation is traumatic for me. we were all kicked out of our house, and i've been spending every night over at her house. it kills me to be there, so close to her, and never be able to tell her how i feel. my boyfriend says he understands, but he teases me constantly over it. and makes me feel even more guilty for this. i regret even being honest and telling him in the first place. i really wish i could tell her how i feel. it eats me up night after night. how much i long to just touch her or kiss her. it's wrong, i know it is, but i can't help but want her to know. three long excrusiating years i've held this in for and now its just unbearable. i know no one reads this, but just getting it out makes me feel better, even if it is to no one in particular. thank you. signing off,

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Friday, February 8, 2008

last post for this account, click here to add my new account. I've gotten my acceptance letters! :3 I got into both schools. The one in Virginia gave me a $36000 scholarship (over the four years). which covers the room and board. -_- fricken 37K a year... my guidence councilor announced it over the intercom today. my teacher came up the stairs clapping mardi gras hand clappers, and the other teacher was like...shhh be quiet so we can hear. when she got to the 36,000, the kids in the class are like Sam? Go Sam!! Lots of stares. My face was as red as my hair. : ) signing off,

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Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Okay. Im officially moving over to PlayedthePainter on here. My art is going to stay here, but i'm going to be posting there for now. So add me if you want to. signing off,

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Sunday, January 20, 2008

so. my friend sucks at lazer tag. really sucks. for instance: we start the game with 3,000 points. he ended it with 350. your supposed to go up so we teased him. for a while. XD it was a good day. I need more of those. I'll make it around. i promise. signing off,

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Tuesday, January 15, 2008

so. guess who's going to college!! ♥ hopefully I've finished both of my essays, my applications, now i just have to wait. yay. and forgotten-heart - ILY. i'm definatly taknig you up on your offer... wow this keyboard sucks... signing off,

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Friday, January 11, 2008

I hate guys I hate school I hate people In the past 24 hours I've learned that: I'm a binge eater after i cry I'm not as well held together as I predend to be I have a very abusive streak in me I HATE who I am I'm emotionally unstable and unfit for leaving the securities of high school sorry for not being around guys. life sucks. as you can tell from my list, i have not been having a good senior year. i feel disgusting. after crying for two and a half hours, i ate and entire pizza and half a pint of ice cream by myself. and i've bruised my mom because she was letting me punch her. and i think i made my boyfriend bleed internally. =D he deserved that though. i need to find a way to relieve stress, so i've joined an aerobic class. hopefully the repetitive motions will let me leave my body for a while which is precically what i need right now. i'm sick of everything and i'm both emotionally and physically drained. i'm not going to be able to take it for much longer. i'm going to snap underneath all this crap and i feel like i can't do anything about it either. help signing off,

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Tuesday, December 18, 2007

yay! xmas is coming soon. only three more presents to go. and now we have at least 14 inches of snow on the ground. and more coing friday and monday... signing off,

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Thursday, December 13, 2007

OMG there's soo much snow outside! we got out of school early, it was amazing. mike and steven came and picked me up from work and we went over to gage's house and hung out for an hour. it was hectic. don't mix redbull (or monster) and smarties if you want to keep your sinus's where they are. XP Gage almost blew his brain out of his nose. on the way home it took us half an hour for a 10 minute ride. we had to keep stopping to clear off the back window because it just kept piling up. zomg it was amazing. Oh! I also made a deviant art account - Enjoy. A button will be going up in my profile soon. ¢¾ - sam signing off,

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Monday, December 10, 2007

i chopped off all of my hair. ¢¾ it was past my shoulders, and now it barely hits the bottom of my ears. ehehe. my friends love it. the boyfriend - not so much at first. but he came over later tonight and changed it to a love-hate relationship. he loved the length of it before because he could play with it more, but he says this makes me look delicate. ¢¾ and. i've almost finished my christas shopping. I went out with jen & nick, now i've only got my mom, stepfather, sister, and secret santa gift left to get. yay. signing off,

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Friday, December 7, 2007

I might be going to see The Golden Compass tonight. Yay! I love the book series and have been totally excited over this movie since March. ^_^ And on a very happy note, guess what comes out just weeks before my birthday! Maplestory for the DS. I need it. Seriously. Lol. signing off,

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