Tuesday, February 17, 2009

material love
when love is a material rather than love itself.
it's hard to let go of things you'll never see again
just because i was there and you became my friend.
the bread I got to taste was rather sweet
and just because there was two and you gave it to three.
more than your share to the rest you gave away more
you let me have more than you but i don't get it
why would you share if you have no reason to?
no reason to share what you don't have.
i looked back at you with your compassionate eyes you saw.
You saw me leave you behind and i took your love
all the material things you'll never see again
and i felt bad because you never wanted to feel love
you were afraid of ever losing your love to anyone
this love who represents something rather then nothing
you're afraid of losing everything just like that day.
i respect you but i forgot you.
i sat in the room and with the sounds and emotions
i remembered you and i missed you and i cried in the inside.
i looked back and i was lone you being gone.
nothing mattered to me but giving your love back
brown eyes a stare i'd never seen before
so filled with the pain of life
living was the burden and death one as well
you'll never die or live
Comments (0) | Permalink

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Value
what is it that you value most?
something you work for or something
i gave you for free?
something from the heart or something
from the wallet?
what's something you value most?
happiness or pleasure?
what is it that you want?
i don't know what i mean to you
but i'm not exactly what you take
this prejudice makes me have to hate
hate you more than anyone else
Comments (0) | Permalink

Monday, February 9, 2009

shadows
shadows in your eyes
in your stare in your look
i'll take it away and eat your soul
you're nothing compared to me
but what am i if you're nothing?
not much either because comparing is equality
yes that's strange to say
but my value is much like yours
i don't see why we separate people with different views
no reason really no reason at all
Comments (0) | Permalink

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

what matters to me
I don't really care about what you chose to do or be. Simply I'm just saying that befriending your demons isn't the right choice. I laugh because they're weak and you're weaker for letting them control you. I remember when they used to attack you yet not you choose to let them back stab you while you smile and ignore their intentions. I've forgotten a lot of the foolish things you've done but maybe fool or foolish isn't the word maybe there should be something else rather than that. I understand that for you there shall be a new word more defining and innovative like the mistake that you made unique.
Comments (0) | Permalink

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

23
when i look at you i see seriousness
when i look at her i see playfulness
when i look at you i see something meaningful
when i look at her i see something meaningless
when i think of me i think of doubt
when i think of you i know it's true
when i thought that of me
when i thought of you
the only thing that came to my mind is me
i see your soul leaving so i'll catch it and keep it
i'll ease your pain by taking control of you
i'll let you cry while you smile at me and tell me that there's nothing wrong
i'll believe you and i'll trust you
and most importantly i'll love you
i'll respect you and trust you
i'll give you everything you've always deserved
don't call me that because in life it angers me
but in death i'll hold you forever my heart
Comments (0) | Permalink

Monday, January 26, 2009

sick
they way things look.
so out of focus dizzying to the eye.
making the stomach scream to make it stop.
i don't understand why this is such
it's making me sick from the inside
i want to get out but i can't
this is external not internal
so i want to hide inside.
i want to escape the pain a reality
but there isn't a thing called a fantasy
it's just that my reality is the only possibility
i can't hider, run, or die.
i have to live through it and that makes me sick
Comments (0) | Permalink

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Sweetie
Repeat what i say
record and repeat
remember never forget
bleed in rather then out
absorb light rather than reflect
erase what a color is
drain away the color from everything
say what you want to say
say and say and i'll hear and hear
Comments (0) | Permalink

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

voice
i miss a voice in my life
one that i can tell if so
if that so is the truth or lie
i want a mood to go in it
i want to feel the words hit me
i want to feel the words reach me
i want the words to hurt me
i want the words to comfort me
i'd love to fall in love with those words
i'd love to be able to see them
i'd love to love
i'd love to be true
i'd love my love
i'll tell you everything
i'll tell you the truth
i'll lie every time i speak
i'll lie down and hear you say
say those words and i'll take them away
say those words and i'll throw them back
say those words and kill me now
kill me because i'm lying
kill me because i can't speak the truth
kill me because i deserve to die
kill me kill me
Comments (0) | Permalink

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Shining Light
When does a light not shine?
when is it so dim it cannot light?
I've wondered if there's a light in the dark that no one can see. Through my thoughts and as I walk I'll always seek that light that doesn't shine. Ever since I was so young my own name was a mystery to me. Even if I found it now it still confuses me is that really who I am? I highly doubt it, I can't be that person I found. My first choice was to change the way things go. First thing I did is save the friends I could and abandon those who would corrupt me if I kept them close. Everything is just here and there because I was the one who put it there. I made sure of all of this to go the way I wanted. Till one day I had a dream and someone said "They believe that you shouldn't be where you are" and I thought why?" neither do they think you should had made it this far" and I laughed and smiled and said "why?". Right then I heard a voice coming from a room "you're talking too much come back inside" and I felt the need to go so I said goodbye. At that moment I kissed her in the forehead and walked away looking back in every step. She looked so lonely just staring back but I felt nothing right then. When I walked in the room I colored everything the way I wanted to. Making the walls red and black a warm feeling that always comes to mind. The room was dark and empty and I didn't know who's voice I had heard. I was alone and everything was two colors red and black. My hands were stained by the color red as I looked at them with my daily habit. The person I can become is not the one I'll choose to be but rather forced to be I thought. Suddenly I felt a breeze of cold icy water hitting me. Even though inside it seemed like the color was made of water and simply watercolor. Everything was washed out and in the air I smelled a fresh smell of Rose and as I looked around it was all clean and I was outside. My house in front of me with its pink brick and white lining. In front of me against the wall there was a Rose bush and I was pouring water on its roots like I had done every other day. And, when I went down to look at the flower closely it was a red I've never felt before. So absorbing and yet so gentle I knew what it asked. A gentle murder of my soul but I thought "impossible" my soul can't die so easily. so my eyesight went away so blind I could hear everything around me as clear as something not real because nothing could be clearer than that. I heard a voice and that voice gave me two choices either to see all lies or to be blind forever and so I chose to be blind because seeing lies would be like seeing things that aren't real therefore the world that I call mine would just be part of my mind and nothing would be real. A Rose would smell the same as the floor because nothing would be there. 3 times I chose the blinding truth I could hear rather than the thriving lie.
Comments (0) | Permalink

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Blue
the sky and sea
the same color
different shade
but both so cold
either way you drown
deep underwater
or high in the air
it's impossible to breath
down and up
we're in between
condemned to get nothing
nor heaven nor hell
we can't stay here forever
we have to change for good
get death forever
or live forever
our choice lies in our heart
the heart that we're not supposed
supposed to give away to anyone
I'll keep it inside in warmth
though some hearts are empty
they keep you alive either way
just ignore the pain and smile
everything is either real or an illusion
believe your beliefs and treat life
treat it the opposite it treats you
love it if it hates you
hate it if it loves you
and so on that time what you get
will be what you wanted
to suffer is to please
to prosper is to destroy
love to hate
and hate to love
and see where that leads you
try to convey your thoughts
try to let them listen to you
take control of them
let them use you
and both of you will have a reason
both will be the used
and both will always come back
neither one will control
and neither will be controlled
neither in control
and neither controlled
let the light shine in the dark
and let the darkness bleed into the light
mist them and make that shade
the one called love
love is light and darkness at once
almost impossible
but everything is possible
break the law the right way to live on
and get far in life and i'll admire
i'll look back at you and smile
i'll look and envy you
i'll look and listen to you
i'll love you
i'll hate you
in the end and the beginning i'll be there

Comments (0) | Permalink