Monday, November 17, 2008

this inside
the heat and anger i wish i felt,
it's no longer here with me
my feelings are fake but i know
i know that i want this to stay
one day i hope to change the words you say
but that day seems to be so distant from today
please control your actions so that in time
it's still possible to make your dreams come true
and there is a choice we can make to always go back
and in this life you're not the only one
i know what many things you can take part on
i know exactly what you need to find
the problem is that you're looking in the wrong place
you think you do but you don't need so much attention
i thought i knew i needed attention but i was wrong
all that does is break my heart every time i think
specially when i look back i see myself holding it in my arms
the heart i no longer have to share happiness with anyone
and no matter how much i change the negativity flows in me
they argue about me and i don't understand why
i don't understand why i can't fight back
i don't know why i just have to watch me get torn apart
inside my mind i get filled with dreams and desires of pain
i seem to enjoy it nowadays and it's really sad
i wanted to make you happy and i broke my words
i broke my life and my promise to myself
i broke myself and my world
and i broke every single memory that mattered
now what do i have? i don't really know
if everything i need is in my hands then what else do i need?
i can we really own what we want or what we need?
Insanity is the product of my reality
this is all a great pain to me
this is all a great burden of life
when many tell you that you're the only one that understands
there's almost no way in confronting this.
because they judge you so close to them
and they ignore the life you live
and they expect you to be there forever
though your love is dead and your heart is stolen
my heart was broken and in the process of healing
it was shattered and the pieces were lost.
i never found it anymore and i gave up looking for it
the lies i hear every day and the ones i keep
they all come back to me in the end and destroy me
and they knock me off my feet and let my soul leave
float around and stare back at me
i let it fly and i let it see what it wants to see
and it learns a lot and that i know
and wisdom i seek is far more then that of my understanding
and i will never know what true love is because in the end
no matter who either me or them my essence is the one stabbed
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