Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Hell and Her Book
I walk with a light limp.. my foot hurts.. I've injured it while running today.
Early while the cool October wind blew in my face.
I walk and the classroom is empty.. nothing really there for me.
I walk right on ahead though the bright lights shinning of my glasses hurt my eyes. I ignore the slight pain though and I notice that as I'm walking I can't help but stare down at the ground. The pain in my foot distracts me more than the light. Usually I'd try to close my eyes a little more to prevent light to break inside. I seem to not care.. and the stress is bothering me.. back inside my mind.. I keep thinking about every morning how I wake up and wash my face. Then I look in the mirror and wash my hair a little bit... then I look at my hands and it makes me sad when I see that I'm losing a lot of hair. I pretend its not true though and I shave. Now, I'm inside this classroom now and I see shelves of books and as I'm walking down I notice a certain book. Inferno by Dante. Then I remember her... "Melissa.." I whisper to myself softly. I wonder if she ever gets to die will I still love her enough to go to hell and get her back? "No" a voice in my head tells me and I seem to agree. Such a beautiful nurse she's become right now.. simply an intern in College. I wonder what I was in love with.. her looks or the way she neglected me. Both, probably I love being treated bad by the people I feel strongly infatuated to. I miss her smiles and I counted the times she let me get close to her... all those times I felt some of the most perfect feelings in my life. Delicate... I thought her skin was too delicate so I had enough self control not to try hugging her or even restrain from letting the kiss be a sin. It would never be anything serious and all I ever do is make her feel a light warmth in her hear. She often told me how no one would tell her the things I did.. I wondered if her blush filled face was that bright or brighter when she spoke to other people but I refused to believe that there was someone else.. someone better than me. She was my upperclassmen though and the day her graduation came mine was still far from sight. That's the last day I ever heard about her.. and I can only dream about her now. Her soft innocent looks on her face.. and my beating bleeding heart in her hands.. oh how beautiful she looks in that nurse uniform. Ironic.. her profession she's going for is heart surgeon. So that day she took my heart and never gave it back. Now I break hearts only to feel like I have my own.
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