Friday, February 4, 2005

   Sup all, not a thing here...just chillin, woke up kinda early today ::yawn:: around 7:30 AM. Its 8:31 AM right now. For the last couple of days I've been pretty sad, my sister, amanda...whom normally I despise, well something changed. You see, her and I used to be really close, like when we where small children, and in our preteens we where close too, we always spent time with eachother, and latley...ive really been missing that, the way it used to was, i dont know if she feels the same, but...i wrote a poem, and ill show you, and the goal of this poem, is to let her realize how I feel...meh, here ya go.


(A letter to his sister...)

Old days, Old times, turned into an old memory,
Of the times when you used to be close to me.
Days long passed, still fresh in my mind,
Times passed and in a flash you turned away from me...

I miss the old days, when you and I used to play,
but now they're gone, and I wish things were the same...

I remember, I used to do anything you wanted to do,
even if I hated it, I would do it just to be around you...

What happened? Where did the old times go?
Questions I ponder as the days grow slow.

I may not be the best brother,
or even the best friend,
I want to be there when; Times turn bad,
when insignificant things begin to prode at your mind.

When love bites at you, and your in your room crying all alone,
I want to be the one to put his arm around you, and comfort your hurt spirit.

I wish to revert to the way it was, Laughing and playing care freely,
Sticking up for one another like its instinct,
Help eachother in troubled times.

You were the person I thought I was closest too,
The one person I thought I could say anything too, no matter how humiliating or embaressing,
Those times have gone, and I wish for them to return...

I am your brother,
Writing to his sister,
Because he misses her very dearly...
Comments (0) | Permalink

Wednesday, February 2, 2005

   Hello.
Sorry that I havent posted in a while...Time to fill ya guys in on whats been going down lol.

Well, im on the third chapter of my book...

Last friday I went with my sister amanda to a place called crossroads, ill make quite a long story short.

I met this girl named Brittany there, we where talking and hanging out for a while, some subtle flirting. Well suprisingly my sister knew this girl, and...O.o she ended up staying the night at my house. >.>;; Yeah, i liked her, made it all the more awkward. Well, again to shorten the story. I got my first kiss <.>;;...Bad thing, was...it was a completly meaningless kiss...and...it wasnt the romantic type of kiss you would expect from a first kiss, or atleast how I had imagined it...well, the day after, saturday, heh...i ended up crying because of it...See, she wanted a friends with benefits deal, which I turned down...I wanted a relationship, not a fling...ah well..there will be other girls, eh? ::Sigh::

Well thats the deal.

Today im gonna go skating, theres a skating rink downtown and its like dollar day XD so im going with my family...Yeah,Later guys.
Comments (1) | Permalink

Sunday, January 23, 2005

   o.o
Sorry I havent posted in a while...been busy.

Well ill get to the point, hm?

My sister, Amanda, said there was this girl she knew, Kathy, She told me some things about her, and what I heard interested me,This was..a week maybe 2 ago, And so I didnt pay it much attention, i thought about meeting her but, Im extremley shy and normally would not,but something made me change my mind, unfortunatly...

I had a dream...Yes, A dream...I was meeting kathy and we hit it off quite well, weird thing was we where at a grocery store o.o LOL, um..she had came with a friend, who just glanced at me for a quick, uneasy second, didnt smile at me or anything, and just walked off out of view. it was a weird, but...uneasily pleasent dream, i didnt wanna wake up, and I felt really quite happy and content in the dream...weird huh? well...after this, and a talk or two about it with my friends Nir and Eric, I decided to just meet her, forget about how much of a nervous wreak im going to bed, and atleast meet the girl, see if anything happens..ya know? Wish me luck for even at the moment while thinking about it, i feel uneasy....lol, hope everyone has a good day ^^
Comments (0) | Permalink

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

meh
Hm, been..rather awkward latley, I guess, nothing really great happened, nothing really, totally bad...Just kinda, bleh.

Well on a darker note I ended all contact with rita once and for all,which before hand I gave her a strong piece of my mind ending with a brutal layout of what i call helping :P, Yes, Helping, She is a stubborn, ignorant, arrogant girl who never changes her ways, But before I start ranting on about her problems that I listed to her (Yes, I actually listed her faults for her to see,and believe me, in all honesty, it was needed) I should start with the other fine points of my days.

...there are none, hah, what irony.

Ok, so...now im sitting here, typing, and pondering on what to say, ah i thought of something.

If you guys are ever bored and want something to do, check out www.BYOND.com Its a 2D graphical-User-based-gaming-system. Quite fun too, if you know C++ and know someone to make game icons you can make your own game aswell, easier then it sounds but not easy.

Not even done with my second chapter yet -sighs- im going to write right now, later all. comment! <.<
Comments (2) | Permalink

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

   ....
...morning.

I hate mornings, ugh, i havent slept yet -yawns- and its 10:28 AM...jesus christ....-sigh- later all...ill post later on.
Comments (0) | Permalink

Sunday, January 16, 2005

   oy
A stressful day...and basically, it was worthless...as most are.

Rita and I..well, im pretty mad at her, I blocked her and deleted her from my aim account and the reason I shall explain right about...

It started by her leaving, without telling me where she was going, as she normally does, which royally pissed me off to begin with, then following by her telling me that she had 'jokingly' said to her friend that she bet she could give him a boner...-sigh- and thus leading to him accepting the bet, and her thinking back on me, and what I'd say on the matter and then she thought better of it and then tried to stop, at this point she was already ontop of him and he wouldnt let her go, eventually, i suppose, she broke free and they deperated, i assume he left, afterwards this 'danny' person, IMed her saying that shes missing out on good money, oh yes, he offered cash for her to basically strip...what an ass eh. anyways, i think its really quite horrible of her to even consider such a vulgar, disrespectful act, ugh, your body isnt something you flaunt just for someone to be aroused, why kind of nonesense bullshit is this, now, if she was going out with the dude, and had a thing for him, its more acceptable, but that, is not, the case. Anyways, what makes this worse is before,about 5-6 months ago, Sort-of the same thing happened, eventually the conclusion is she let some dude feel her breast up, and she tried covering it up saying that she pretended it was me, what kind of idiotic bullshit is that? Ieya, Anyways, yeah..this isnt the first time its happened, and now she regrets it and feels bad about it, Good, her and I's friendship is through, any feelings I had for her -shrugs- well, I will make sure I loose them quickly, i wont let myself be hurt by her any longer. Ive known her for 5 years, and while her good attributes have brought me some smiles and laughter, her faults consume that and weaken her character to a horrible piece of shit lying there on the floor, wishing for someone to pick it up, ok ok ..im just being cruel, but anyways...yeah...that was my day, interesting, eh?

Aside from that, im going to start writting again tomorrow, I havent today, i slept most of it...i guess, i just...didnt wanna get up, and I didnt have to, so, I didnt. lol.

ah what a long post. going to bed now, later all :P
Comments (0) | Permalink

Saturday, January 15, 2005

   ...
Well today was very..stressful...but not worthless, Oh no, Not today.

Finished chapter 1 in my book which is coming along very nicley I do believe.

Rita and I had a fight, well, not really a fight, but I said the truth of matters and she didnt like what she heard..so she went off and cried, this happened..only twice -_- oh well...shit happens I guess,she needs to learn to deal with truth...

my ex julia said a guy asker her out, Good luck julia.

um...gonna do some shout outs, prepare yourself.

Eric- Thank you, your like a big brother to me, you've help me immensly, and we've had some very interesting conversations while we've known eachother, Your awesome, you've taught me alot, and I can never, ever replay you...for the cost would be too great for all you've done.

Nir- YOU my friend, are like a little brother, Very smart for your age and humorous, always find a way to cheer me up when im upset, Thank you alot for helping me out and talking me down, take care lil bro.

Steve- Hey man, damn, we've known eachother for a long time, You've always stayed real close to me and had my back everytime sumin shitty happens. (As have eric and nir.) Thank you. and also thanks to you, for helping me with my book, reading it and telling me what u think, really helps alot, later man.


Comments (1) | Permalink

Friday, January 14, 2005

   Well, Things have been...OK today, I suppose...nothing tragic happened, but..nothing really lifted me up, either...

Thanks for Rejindo for the background, I love it ^^. What do you all think?

::Sighs::...Iono, I feel like something in my lifes missing, i have no one...::Shrugs:: I guess im just lonley...well..later all...
Comments (4) | Permalink

Thursday, January 13, 2005

   Iono.
All...shits better now, Although..i still kinda feel lonley, but that will pass eventually, MY two great friends Eric and nir helped me alot, as they always do, and I owe them a big thank you, so, THANK YOU NIR AND ERIC ^-^, well...

hmm...well, im going to bed, hope everyone has a good day, Night.
Comments (0) | Permalink

   ...
im sitting here, almost midnight...crying...listening to sad songs to amplify my sorrow, Crying for me is almost a relief, All the emotion and stress from the day is vented through tears, atleast for me...

::Sighs::..i feel terrible...stress has been building up, and recent events with rita havent helped, Just basically..we fought kinda...she blocked me, unblocked me, We talked, she went away, yeah...well..meh...shes away right now, Sorta sad, I really want someone to hold me right now, Pathetic..isnt it..my want for someone to be there for me, I mean, My friend nir has been great and is talking to me, and always helps me, but I just want to be comforted and held...bah..i sound like a girl...anyways...later..
Comments (0) | Permalink