Wednesday, January 12, 2005

   Bah
well lets see, Rita and I had a bit of a disagreement earlier, I kinda...well, erm, i was mean to her and she ended up crying, not really what I said made her cry, but my I-dont-give-a-fuck-do-what-you-want additude and my feelings about the whole her and I thing, its confusing, shes flirty and she likes 2 dudes, and...she says she likes me then yet she says she dosent wanna do the LD relationship deal, all the while shes drawing me closer to her, Im sick of it, im sick of being used like a god damn tool, My effection isnt something to be used to for self pleasure, Ugh im sick of women doing this to me, bah, as the title states.

Well on a brighter note...wait, there is none.
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   Meh
Been a funkalicious day for sure, lol, first off.

I restarted my book, its gonna be alot cooler, its a romance/adventure/fantasy novel, and will kick your ass XD lol.

Rita and I are slowly growing closer I think, and im so happy when i talk to her, its like I start to giggle and shit, really weird, i become all giddy...its..funky, but I like it, Im not used to being happy and its a nice feeling to experience once in a while ^_^ Lol.
Shes a really cool girl and is fun to talk to, I only hope we grow closer ^_^.

Well aside from the book change, its been a pretty calm day, I wrote quite a bit. Hm...well, i talked to julia today, i think shes ok now, or atleast will be. Shes so cute when shes mad though, lol.

On another note, if any of you know some really cool manga/anime BT sites, TELL ME, lol.

later all! hope all is well.

Leave comments :P
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Tuesday, January 11, 2005

...
This post is to kara.


Why dont you stop reading my shit!, You say you hate me, and you want nothing to do with me, BUT YET YOU FUCKING PERSIST ON READING MYOTAKU, Leave me the fuck alone! I have done nothing to you, Maybe I broke your heart by getting with julia and that made you jealous, big fucking deal, Get the fuck over it before I seriously began to get mad, because your pestering in my life and personal affairs is becoming truly stupid, You say things that arnt true, I know how to keep a relationship, but under certain situations it isnt possible, Now just leave me alone for christ sakes! Go fuck your fiance, And go lie to him about shit like you did to me! God damn!


I apologize to everyone for this, But I am getting Very, VERY tired of her idiotic comments, if I must I will be forced to move my otaku because of her insolence, I do hope it dosent come to that.
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   ...Meh
Im really sad...for reasons I wont state, but simply because im alone...again...I really, truly did care for her, I never lied about a thing I said to her, never...and now I feel bad because I let her down, It will pass..im sure...but the fact remains that I hurt her, I knew it would hurt her, but I couldnt continue in a relationship when I talked to her only like once a week, what kind of relationship can be when the 2 people only talk that often?!...its ludacris, and no matter how I felt I couldnt continue ::Sighs::...Maybe im selfish, or weak..I dont know...

"And we wake up in the break down of the things we never thought we could be, Yeah......Im not the one who broke you, im not the one you should fear. We've got to move you darling. I thought I lost you somewhere, But you where never really ever there at all. and I, want to get free, talk to me...I can feel you falling, I, Wanted to be, all you need, Somehow here is gone" Here is gone - goo goo dolls. ah a good, good song...


::Sighs:: Anyways I hope everyone is doing far better then I am...Later.
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Monday, January 10, 2005

::Takes a deep breath::
::Sighs deeply::

I broke up with Julia today, We simply dont talk enough...I hope shes ok, and not too hurt, and I hope she understands...

It musta sucked for her too, but no matter how I feel for her, i couldnt continue..ya know?...::Sighs::.

Couldnt get online much today, Moms computer was bein' gay, so..yeah...meh.

Commentttts yo! I love them XD
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Its late -_-
hey everyone, I hope you like the new background i put on, Um...I dunno what to say, im up to chapter 5 in my book, wish me luck.


Comments.
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Sunday, January 9, 2005

>.>;...
just woke up, ugh...


Iono, I feel weird, emotionally drained, just..tired...ya know...i need something but I dunno quite what it is...or maybe I just need time? who knows, not me...ttyl all...and yo, if anyone knows how to add a background to your otaku PLEASE TELL ME, I tried using html n it didnt work...
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Friday, January 7, 2005

   Meh
Well i started my book , IM Me if you wanna see it so far, It should be cool, its a romance/adventure...

Kara is offically a bitch, Meh.

I miss juila, she was on earlier but then said she was gonna be back on cuz her mom is leaving a abit and then left and has yet to return, I doubt she will ::sighs::...oh well, ill talk to her some other time I suppose.

Ive been tired all fucking day and what makes it worse is that this morning, or around noon, kara imed me and then bitched me out!, And rubbed it frantically in my face that she was with aaron, I really didnt care exept i felt betrayed that she would really do such a thing to me, other then that she can go ahead get married fuck and have kids, hell if I care.


Comments.
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Wednesday, January 5, 2005

   ...
Well,today has been quite weird lets start it off eh.

Well,I talked to an old friend I havent in quite some time...Rita.
were ok now, i guess...oh well moving on.

I aint talked to julia today..::Sighs:: dosent suprise me though...wish she was on, i miss her...

Bah, today...just....Meh...

I all of a sudden, wanna start writing again, like...yeah...tomorrow ill write sumin, prolly a fan fic for inuyasha XP, Sounds fun, lol, tty guys later....
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   ...oy
...::gulps::...

Something unfortunate happened, as...it seemingly always does...

Julia was on yesterday, on AIM, and...We where talking...Her mom hates me, She thinks im some..sexual preditor ( IM NOT! )...she even called me..and bitched me out...i remember that phone call...very vividly...anyways...

Her mom found her diary, The letter she was writing me, and her poems about me, and...julia admitted she loved me and nothing would change that, to her mother, who dreads me, how brave ;_; ::Sighs::..well shes grounded from the comp again, so..i can only talk to her when no one is around...

Fantastic huh...Meh
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