Tuesday, January 4, 2005

   ::sighs::
the last 2 days have been..horrible to say the least...

I lost kara, my best friend yesterday, it ended..pretty badly, and I feel a pretty big sense of loss and betrayal...even though I knew, and wanted the day to come, i never thought it was going to hit this hard, i knew eventually id get on her nerves and shed jus say fuck it, but I never expected it to be like this, nor did I expect to feel such...loss...

I really REALLY!! miss julia, i had a dream, well..erm, nightmare, that..basically...er..well it was weird, her and I where in the same house n shit,i guess living together? iono, and then went to bed (-_-) Then woke up,she got all upset, cried, and...im not sure but I think broke up with me, or sumin, and...that right now is my worst fear , loosing her...


...Dreams are manifestations of our concious mind, and that...proves it...eh lol...

my back is in knots, and I feel like shit...i wish i could just hear her voice...to refresh my soil and...renew that cheer inside me...for, she is my love...and I need her, more then ever...i miss her more then ive missed anyone..., its been 4-5 days now..a week..since ive talked to her last..::Sighs::
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   ...
i still have yet to talk to julia, UUGGHH...i love yo julia :( come back soon..
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Monday, January 3, 2005

   ...how do things always get worse, eh...
Well, Kara is now Really pissed off at me, cuz i didnt have her in my god damned aim away message...and just being paranoid and insecure..and shit...

I just told her off...sorta, she wasnt at the comp, but her mobile was up, i said basically, if your gonna be like this, all paranoid and insecure, Then when you come back to OH on the 8th, Dont bother talking to me, GOODBYE.

:: Sighs deeply::...i dont want to loose my best friend and someone so fucking close to me...i dont want too, ...no....no!..god damn it, no......::Sighs again::
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   yeah...

Take the Spirit Quiz and visit Castle Diqueria.


Yeah, well..i feel empty about now, nothing to do, no one to talk to, my best friend and girlfriend havent talked to me in a while, aint talked to my girl in like 4 days!!, driving me nutty..., i really miss her,i really cant exclaim that enough, I wish we talked more, I dont..want to break up with her at all!!, no!, Im trying to avoid that, at all cost, but we arnt talking as much as id like, this sorta sucks...her and I need to talk, and I need to hear her voice...:: Sighs ::..maybe today, maybe not..if not I wont be suprised...later all...
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Sunday, January 2, 2005

   ...Meh
It seems as if the days continue to grow shitter as they pass :: Sighs :: why is it like that, though?,I dont like to complain about life, but its nonesense..dont you think?, To live life for grief and experience emotions?, Whats the point really..tell me, The bad in the world has easily surpassed that of the good, so what is left?...


Meh, I still have yet to talk to julia, its been like 2-3 days now, I really do not like this, I need to talk to her,Badly...I miss her so much...I havent called her in what seems like forever...::Sighs again::...

Iono what to do anymore, I dont want things ending up like they did with her n randy, they didnt talk much, and so they ended breaking up (Although..I stole her heart from him..::slight grin for a second:: But thats besides the point!!)...Nevertheless...I dont like the situation, Id be the happiest man alive if A:I could talk to her everyday, if even for 3 hours, and if B:Kara, My best friend...where back at home and I could talk to her on the phone again. I miss her...and shes in florida, I wont rest easily until shes back either...
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   yeah...::Sighs::
hey all...not too happy atm, as you can see...

well..kara is depressed, I wish she was home so she could call me and I could cheer her up like i always do...If I had her number at where she is in FL id call her, but..she never even considered that, i wonder why...


oh well...on to other shit...

Miss julia, she said swhe would be on yesterday, but she wasnt...kinda sad, i miss her alot..., Trying to get my mind off it though, trying to stay sane, Hard though...


Just...fucked up atm...

If anyone actually reads my jumble of stupidness, lol, If you can, list shit I can do to keep my mind off shit x.x;;
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Saturday, January 1, 2005

   ::sigh::
hey everyone, again, happy new years, although, so far it aint really happy.


Had some fun though last night,Played some pool, hung out with my friend Aaron, played sum poker with my mom and her friend...although, through the entire day, I couldnt help but miss Julia and Kara...all day, i missed them both so much, And I hope very very very very very much I get to talk to Julia today, and am indeed counting the days until karas return home.


Iono what to do with myself anymore, Im so BORED half the time, lol, no computer...=...suckyness :-p, oh well.


I really miss julia, I wish shed come on and have me call her, i wanna talk to her so badly...::Sighs:: again, oh well..thats life eh?, she said shed be ontoday, and so, im waiting, patiently, somehow lol


again happy new years, Later all...
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Friday, December 31, 2004

   o.o
Hey everyone, Sup? lol nm here, just...chillin, Bored, about to take a shower, and...wishing 2 of my favorite people in the world where online, they know who they are ^-^.

Actually got out today and yesterday, Played sum f0otball, we won both times XP, yesterday scored 2 touch downs, today 1, im suprised im not sucking..., lol..its weird being proud of yourself for bein' all muddy, eh?


Well...::Sighs::...its weird hanging around people, I dont know why, im so used to just like, chillin with my family...its different being around people, Oh well...its not bad, just..different.

I wish my fucking computer was working ::Sighs again::..so annoying...My mom said my dad is considering buying me a new one before my birthday ( Which is Febuary 25th..) either way ill have one by my birthday, so..its all good, i guess...>.>;;


HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE!, My new years resoultion is simple, well, i have 2, To try and be a better boyfriend to juila, and to be a better best friend to kara.
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   >.>
Hey everyone..well...kara asked and she shall get her wish.

::Dedicated to kara::...

Hey kara, Thanks for bein' there for me in all the times I needed you the most, that really, really meant alot to me, like when my parents fought and I was very upset, you where there for me, and through all the other times when I was down, you where there for me, and all the mad hours we've spent on the phone will always be fun in my memories to look back on, even when you are sad, I cheered you up, and knowing that I helped you made me feel a bit better. Your one of my best friends, and I wrote this entry to say thank you. no matter what we will always be friends, no matter what I'll always be here and I know that you'll always be there for me aswell, Indeed our friendship has been through alot, and its come out stronger, as will it always, Take care, Kara.
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   Hey everyone, nm here..just chillin, bored...anyways lets get on with it shall we.


Really missing kara atm, Have been since the moment i got off the phone with her at 12:00 AM the night she left..., Got an email from her saying she thinks I dont care about her n shes trying, i told her it was definatly not the case but I felt sorta the same since she hadnt emailed me, lol...weird how the world is eh, anyways...

Missing Julia too, aint talked to her in like 2 days, and when I did talk to her last she just randomly logged off, iono...I missed her when she was on last night, I was sleeping...


lifes so boring without a computer ::Currently on his sisters::...mines still broken...

Kara, I feel the same way about you as I did the night you left, Dont be silly lol.


Julia please PM ME! if I dun talk to you later on today lol.


Later all
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