Friday, April 15, 2005

about my life

yeah since i havent posted bout my life i decided to now.
TGIF!!!!
^_^
Well my days have been crazy lately.
I have hade so much to do i dont know what to do with myself.
Tons of school work of course -_- i have only hade time to get like half of it done thanks to my damn aunt still being here and makeing me do work for her and yeah by the time i get done with that i have to go to bed.
But of course before i go to bed i got to spend a half hour cleaning my room from my brother trashing it while i am at school. -_- and yes i know i should get a lock put on my door but i cant. there is no metal thingy on my door. there aint even a hole for the tab thingy on the door to go into.
I have to put a box behind my door to keep it closed.
But yeah um i am slowly getting over the fact of my counsiler dieing.
um yeah well thats about all i can think of to post bout my life so far.
be back to post later maybe.
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another quiz from darkeangel

Your element is Darkness. You are the truly evil
one with a black heart and no soul. People
avoid you since you cause so much trouble and
enjoy seeing others in pain. You would like
nothing more than to rule this earth and be
hailed by all. Everyone is annoying and stupid
anyway and are a waste of oxygen. You are
probably a cast-away from society and family
and have had a tough life where you learned to
live the hard way. Now you want revenge on your
pain and can no longer feel love nor care. You
do not wish to befriend anyone and you
certainly do not wish to be in love. As a
student of having learnt everything the hard
way, you tend to be manipulative when you want
something for yourself. In your head there is
only you that matters, and why shouldn't it? No
one cares about you so why should you? In
school you probably ditch classes and go
somewhere else instead of sitting in a
classroom. It is not that you are stupid,
because you're probably very smart, but
everyone annoy you. And having to sit in the
same room, breathing the same air as your
enemies is not desired by you. Rate and
message!


What is your element? [with pics + 7 outcomes + detailed answeres!]
brought to you by Quizilla

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retake of the quiz

You kill for
revenge.
That is because you have lost something or
someone you held very dear. Now you can't seem
to get over the loss that marked your soul, and
the only solution is to go after the one person
who brought all this pain to you. Chances are
you are angry inside and you bottle everything
up and don't talk to anyone about it. People
may want to help, but you think that they can
never understand your pain and only get
frustrated because of this. But it is important
to see all that you have left and be thankful
of that even if you have lost something great.
It may not be true that Times heals all wounds,
but with time and talking about your feelings,
maybe the hurt will ease.

Main weapon: Yourself
Quote: "You can close your eyes to
reality but not to memories" -Stainslaw J.
Lec
Facial expression: Gritted teeth and
teary eyes

What Type of Killer Are You? [cool pictures]
brought to you by Quizilla

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another quiz from darkeangel

You are a Samurai.
You are full of honour and value respect. You
are not really the stereotypical hero, but you
do fight for good. Just in your own way. For
you, it is most certainly okay to kill an evil
person, if it is for justice and peace. You
also don't belive in mourning all the time and
think that once you've hit a bad stage in life
you just have to get up again. It's pointless
to concentrate on emotional pain and better to
just get on with everything. You also are a
down to earth type of person and think before
you act. Impulsive people may annoy you
somewhat.

Main weapon: Sword
Quote: "Always do the right thing.
This will gratify some people and astonish the
rest" -Mark Twain
Facial expression: Small smile

What Type of Killer Are You? [cool pictures]
brought to you by Quizilla

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breaking benjamin - away

"Away"

Cold am I
I'm beside myself
Because there's no one else
Have I grown
So blind
Only god could save you
If you knew your way to the light
So fly away
And leave it behind
Just stay awake
There's nowhere to hide

I see you
Cause you won't get out of my way
I hear you
Cause you won't quit screaming my name
I feel you
Cause you won't stop touching my skin
I need you
They're coming to take you away

Frail and dry
I could lose it all
But I cannot recall
It's all wrong
Don't cry
Clear away this hate
And we can start to make it alright
So fly away
And leave it behind
Return someday
With red in your eyes

I see you
Cause you won't get out of my way
I hear you
Cause you won't quit screaming my name
I feel you
Cause you won't stop touching my skin
I need you
They're coming to take you away

I see you
Cause you won't get out of my way
I hear you
Cause you won't quit screaming my name
I feel you
Cause you won't stop touching my skin
I need you
They're coming to take you away

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Thursday, April 14, 2005

quiz i got from darkeangel

Life sucks and you know it. Nothing ever turns out
okay, nothing ever goes your way and while you
have to live this horrible life the gods are
laughing at you. The whole meaning with life,
according to you, is simply to die. But you
have not become this way just like that, you
have probably been decieved, betrayed and hurt
by people who meant alot to you in your past.
To you, life is not even bittersweet.


How do you see life? .::minor update::.
brought to you by Quizilla

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breaking benjamin - breakdown (my new fav. song)

Breakdown!

Let the fun and games begin
She is spayed and broken in
Skin is cold and white
Such a lovely lonely night

[Pre-chorus]
Heaven is on the way
You could feel the hate
but I guess you never will
I'm on a roll again
and I want an end
'cause I feel you creeping in

[Chorus:]
What I found in this town
I'm heading for a breakdown
What's that sound, you're so loud
I'm heading for a breakdown

Drank up all my alcohol
This is not a free for all
I'll be there for you
'Til my heart is black and blue

[Pre-chorus]

[Chorus]

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   yeah

well i am just posting to let ya know i am alive.
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Wednesday, April 13, 2005

my support

my support for gay rights today.
pic link:
http://i.cnn.net/cnn/interactive/us/0306/gallery.scotus/gal.03.gay.rights.jpg
:the flag to support gay rights.
I would fly that flag if i hade one like it.
but the odd thing is when your parents will support you in anything you do is when you tell them you are takeing a oath of silence to support gay rights and they shake their heads and have looks of disgust on their faces.
Well ya know what...I am doing this because I want to and no one is stopping me. So my parents and just shove it for their feelings against gays cuz in case they forgot I am Bi you idiots. Sorry it ticked me off last night when i told them i was supporting gay rights today and they shook their heads in disgust.
Well to bad for them they just gonna have to deal with it.
byes
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In memory of a counsiler of mine who was also my very close freind

Last night I found out my old counsiler I went to for the past two years died saturday. I cried for like 45 minutes yesterday. I am going to dedicate my site to him for the next month in his memory. And here is his obituary article:

Dr. Richard J. Stenack
November 13, 1945 - April 9, 2005
NORWALK - Dr. Richard J. Stenack, 59, of Norwalk, died Saturday in the Medical College of Ohio in Toledo.
He was born Nov. 13, 1945 in Allentown, Pa., and came to this area in 1980 from Lafayette, Ind.
He was a veteran of the Air Force and recieved his associates in arts degree in 1974 from the University of Marylandand his bachelors of science degree in 1975 from the University of Maryland.
He also recieved his master's degree in 1976 from Ball State University and his doctorate in 1980 from Purdue University. He was a practicing psychologist in Norwalk since 1980. He was the author of "Stop Controlling Me" in 2001, which has been published in five languages. He enjoyed painting, gardening and careing for wild animals.
He is survived by his wife of 36 years, Elli E. (Smolka) Stenack; mother, Doris M. Stenack of North Hampton, Pa.; brothers and sisters-in-law, David F. and Kathleen Stenack of North Hampton, Pa. and Jesse and Margie Smith of Denver Co.; two neices and nephews.
He was preceded in death by his father, Richard J. Stenack Sr.

:the rest of the article is about where to call and where to send memorial gifts. And if you want to send any memorial gifts for him just send me a pm and I will tell you.
And yeah Dr. Stenack was a great man.
He was there for me for the past two almost three years and has helped me pass over a breakdown. Yeah because last year something happened to me (I would rather not say) and I almost hade a breakdown over it. I picked up the phone and called Dr. Stenack.
I always felt better after talking to him, because he acually said things to me that made sense and made me feel good about myself. I will never find another person like me again. He was associated with me through business and in common life.
He was a very good freind who I could talk to about ANY sort of problem I hade, whether it be something someone said at school or be problems with myself on a emotional stablity.
He was a great man with many achievments in his life and within a short amount of time. But unfortunately his health was not very good. It is a great shame that someone of such standards were to die at such a age because of bad health.
I wish he would come back.
And I know I will never go any other counsiler for anything again. I could open myself up to him and not have any worries about anyone knowing that wasnt suppose to know. He knew me better than some other people who knew me all my life.
All I ask is for him to come back because I know I will never find another like him.
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