Friday, January 27, 2006

My life is a museum
Well, i just spent about 30 minutes playing my guitar. 20 of which i was sitting on the floor, the other 10 i was laying on the ground with the guitar on my chest. It was kinda strange, but it felt good at the same time. I had fun. But i won't lie, it wasn't the first time i've done that.

It always seems like there are things just out of reach in my life...and the only thing that holds me back is myself....ultimately anyways. I read a poem for mrs. mark's class called the cat. If you're in the class you can read it, it's in the folders she passed out....on second thought, here's the poem:

Outside it was night
like a book without letters.
And the eternal dark
dripped to the stars through the sieve of the city.

I said to her
do not go
you'll only be trapped
and bewitched
and will suffer in vain.

I said to her
do not go
why want
nothing?

But a window was opened
and she went,

a black cat into the black night,
she dissolved,
a black cat in the black night,
she just dissolved

and no one ever saw her again.
Not even she herself.

But you can hear her
sometimes,
when it's quiet
and there's a northerly wind
and you listen intently
to your own self.

I feel like the window's open...i just can't allow myself to jump through it. Unfortunately, where i differ from the cat, i would be the white cat....

::cough:: emo ::cough::

Was i?

Aaaaanyways. Once again, even though it sounds like i'm down, i'm not. I'm not a very emotional person...when it comes to small things. (Un)fortunately i consider most everything small. I am a big guy after all, har har.

Maybe i'm just too big to fit through the window? .....i could make the squeeze, i just won't allow myself to.

I don't know what i want.

Oh, do you guys like my new name? Here's a hint to make sense of it.
Never
Interrogate
Celtic
Killers
Of course that really doesn't make any sense, i'm just being ridiculous, haha. Ridiculous. RIDICULOUS. Sorry, a friend really hates that word...though he's not on myspace, so it's really pointless to repeat that word.....ridiculous.

Road....ro-ad.....ROAD.... < < from a movie, haha.

There aren't things i want, only someones. ...ok, that was a lie, there are things i want. Hehe.

I've always strived to be different...it's depressing when you realize different is the norm.

Want some oxycotin? Or X? Today i discovered about half of my AP english class have used illegal drugs or have been drunk in the past year. It was funny....but only a tiny bit surprising.

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away, but now it seems they're here to stay....

And, i really don't feel like writing this thing anymore...actually i just don't feel like you should have to read anymore. So, later.
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