Thursday, December 18, 2003

I'm in love with Pullman's His Dark Materials trilogy. I absolutly adore Lyra, the main character.

But that's not the main thing on my mind right now. I have a 3-5 page essay to write next period. And, instead of studying for it, I fretted and panicked over it, then read my book to forget it. I put it off until like the last 40 minutes before I went to bed. I had the prompt, and all night to study. I could've written the whole paper, memorized as much as I could, then all I would have to do is regurgitate it next period. But I didn't. Now I plan on doing the best I can with what I remember from the course, what little I studied, and BS the rest. If I get a bad grade, I'll still come out with a B, and it will be ok. After the essay is done, I can just go home and back to my book. It's horrible, but that's what I'm doing. I'm struggling with my fear right now, forcing myself to accept indifference. I keep telling myself that it doesn't matter that much. Who cares if it's 25% of my grade. I won't do that bad, if I jsut take it one paragraph at a time. I couldn't possibly do so horribly that I end up with a C in that class. It's an AP class for cryin' out loud! I'm happy with a B! I have a 94 right now, and I'm going to blow my A because I read my book intead of studying. And I'm forcing myself not to care. It's gonna be OK! I'm totally gonna freak when it comes time to write the essay. I'll just do some serious praying, because God is the only one who can help me now. Then I'll write my essay, and wait for the bell, go home, crawl into bed, and read my book. That's all I can do. I'm not gonna panick, I'm not gonna care.

If you read that whole rant, thank you for your time and patience. I'm sorry if it didn't make much sense, I was more typing to myself. I'm going to be busy during winter break, so I probably won't be able to update for a couple of weeks. I hope you come back when I do.

Happy Holidays! ^_^
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Tuesday, December 16, 2003

My team won the Antarctica debate! ^_^ It's so cool. Debating is fun.

This weekend my mom gave me 40 bucks and told me to buy some of the books I want for Christmas. I bought Eragon by Christopher Paolini. It's a really good book, and the beginning of a fantasy trilogy. And his debut novel. Paolini is around 19 years old. He started it at age 15, after graduating from high school! He's got to be really smart. Anyway, the book is worth every penny I spent. I also bought Phillip Pullman's His Dark Materials trilogy: The Golden Compass, The Subtle Knife, and The Amber Spyglass. I'm only through a few chapters of the first book so far. I spent saturday night through monday evening reading Eragon. So far, The Golden Compass is really good. I really like the protagonist. ^_^

That's all that's happening in my life right now. ^_^
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Friday, December 12, 2003

In my AP Environmental Science class, we had the task of listing every environmental law in our textbook. Our class of 10 people divided the book and emailed our part to each other. There was a huge mess of some people getting emails and others not getting them. After many emails and much headache, we got it all worked out, except for one thing: Chris didn’t do his assignment. Apparently, working at Hardees until eleven is more important than his whole class’s science grade. So I, as the Nazi leader of the project, have the most enjoyable task of slowly crushing the life out of him. My equally angry, though maybe not as violent, classmates are more than willing to help. And I’ll let them; after all, he screwed them over too.

We also have our debate on Antarctica next period! My team is so going to win! That’s what I keep telling myself, anyway. ^_^ I love debating, and Chris has only fueled my fightin’ mood. After I spill Chris’s blood all over the floor, my team is going to wipe it up with our opponents. >=) This may the most fun I’ve ever had in that class. I’m looking forward to it, at least.

Well, at least my other classmates got the stuff he was supposed to, after Mary did it for him. I said “screw it” and went to bed before I got her email though. I don’t care about my grade, there were only five laws that I missed anyway. I’m not mad about not getting the stuff, because I could have done it myself if I really wanted to. It’s the fact that we depended on him, and he screwed us over.

Edit:
The Anarctca debate was a bit harder than I thought, but I still think we did fairly well. I didn't do anything to Chris, because I'm all talk, and my anger dissipates quickly. But I won't trust him to do anything by himself again. If I'm ever in a group project with him (God forbid) then I'll be standing over his shoulder the entire time.
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