Friday, October 31, 2003

In a few minutes, I"m heading over to my homeroom. The teacher will check attendence. Then everybody will head over to the football field for the Homecoming pep rally. Except for me. I'm sneaking over to my Spanish teacher's room, where we both will be hiding out, and yes, skipping the pep rally. ^_^
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Wednesday, October 29, 2003

I'm so tired of my friends' crap. It's nothing, really, just their behavior. It's annoying. Every frickin day Athena has to keep something from her boyfriend, and every fricken day he has to try to wrestle it out of her hand or hoodie. It's so stupid. The other people I don't even call friends, just aquaintances. Athena's not even my friend, just my buddy. I mainly get in this mood during and after lunch, when I have contact with these people. I want to be left alone, but I don't want to look like a loner or a loser. Maybe I should go back to sitting with Jessica and Mallory. It was more pleasant, even if my presence didin't contribute to anything. I want to be alone, but I don't want to be a loner. I just want to avoid anything social. It's times like these when I really (really really) miss my Ashley. A girl after my own heart (sometimes). She's the only person who I can talk nonstop to (probably to the point of being annoying). The only person I'm really comfortable with. It's like that one silly internet quiz said: You're an outsider because you've seperated yourself from the cesspool of humanity. *sigh* Why did you have to move, Ash? Why does Swansboro have to be so close, and then seem so far away? We have to remedy that, gurl. Invite me over. I'll ask my mom, and I'm sure she'll say yes, and visit her friend over there while I'm visiting you. Screw my dad. That stupid mess is over. If he still wants to keep us from being friends, then screw him. He doesn't have to know. I'm visiting some other friend, Sarah in New Bern. He can't keep me from having any friends at all just because "they influence me" Ok, just because I was writing that notebook to you, doesn't mean you had anything to do with what I was thinking about him! It all came from me. If anything, you encouraged me to improve my relationship with him. Crap. I keep spelling 'from' 'form' and it's getting annoying. Oh, and that bowling thing. I'll see if I can go to that too, even if I don't fit in with the Tae Kwon Doe group. I don't really like groups, though. Especially ones I don't know. You're gonna have a hard time having fun with the TKD people and include me. I'm probably going to be very shy and quiet.

Whatever. The point is, I want friendship, but I'm very picky. And friends like Ashley are rare. This world runs rampent of idiots.
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Chobits
I went to the bookstore yesterday. I got the book that I needed for science--Ishmael I couldn't find Sara's books, but I wasn't really looking that hard. I didn't have a lot of time, and they might not have been there anyway. The stupid bookstore didn't have Inu Yasha vol. 15, so I tried out a new manga series instead. I chose Chobits because Queen Asuka made it seem interesting. And it is! ^_^ It's a sci fi with a perverted protagonist. And they make everything so mysterious! ^_^ When we get together, Ashley, I'll lend it to you. I got the first three volumns, and I wish I got more. But buying all eight would have been too much money. I spent 50 bucks just buying the novel and those three mangas. *sigh* I'll just have to go to the bookstore real soon and get the rest. And they better be in stock, along with Inu Yasha *shakes fist* Otherwise, not much else is going on. I'm being bored to death with all of these presentations in Science. Everybody has to teach a section for an hour like I did, and the rest of us take notes. I'm so sick of taking notes. But it's almost over. Only 4 more left to go. *moans* That's 4 hours, and a lot of us are going overtime. I went over by 20 minutes. It's a lot of info, and we talk really slow for the notetakers.

My dad bought a couple of desert camis the other day. (You know, the uniform you see Marines and soliders wear in Iraq, as opposed to the normal green ones.) Ashley knows. Her dad just got back from there a few months ago. My dad is probably going to have to go. Mom says it'll probably be for a year, or 6 months if he's lucky. It's not that I want my dad to go to Iraq, but-- I don't know, even though we've supposedly gotten over the 'notebook ordeal' I still don't like him in the house. I don't want him to be in any danger, but things are cooler when he's gone. I don't think he'll get hurt or killed over there. God will watch over him, and it's that mental thing, "that stuff happens to other people" I feel bad for wanting him gone like that, though. Actually, I don't, really. But I feel bad about not feeling bad. You know, I don't feel bad at all. I just know I should feel bad. (whew, being honest to myself here) I'm such a rebellious little twit. *sigh* Is any of this even making sense? I feel like I'm making one of those confusing posts that 'newbies' make. (Not you, Ash. The ones who don't know third grade grammer) I'm just going to stop now.
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