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Tuesday, June 8, 2004
........
Its 1 a.m. and i cannot sleep. Two of my favorite ppl are having problems. I'll start with Sindalla. I am worried sick about her, she is the life of this site, and I dont know what I would do if she wasnt here to send me her little comments everyday. Those are things I live for, I hope she is here tomorrow to read this. I wish I could do more to help, but there is only so much I can do. I'm just hoping she changed her mind, and thought about what she was doing, because without her, I will lose my motivation to continue with this site. She makes the things I do worth it. I'm praying to God, and quite frankly I dont give shit if any of you believe in him/her or not. There has to be one, I dont expect to turn into fuckin grass when i die, like walt whitman. I dont think I will be the same without Sinny, she just makes me very happy, and I hope I do the same for her......
Then there is my other special person, Selena. She is sad all of the time, and it is getting harder to cheer her up, its not her fault, if i'm correct i think its her surroundings, i cant really say, but she has a huge complex over herself, and it seems as though she has a very hard time opening up to ppl. I try to get her to open up, but I only get her to do so much, and I think that makes her feel worse. I've realized that there is nothing I could do to make her happy, she is just too sad. I'm so worried about her at times, and I wish that I could do alot more for her, but its like i'm making things worse. Its like at night I bring her up with high spirits, then the next day, someone or something brings her back down, its like she cant win, But that is only my assumption, its hard to tell how she feels or what she is thinking, but i try my best to keep a smile on her face. I truly hope that she will have a good day tomorrow, she'll probably be mad at me for staying up so late, she is such a mom, but I guess I just wanted to get this out, so I can show her that it is alright to open up to ppl. I just want her to know that there are some nice people out there, that will listen to you, and relate to what you are saying. I hope all of my other important ppl are ok Luminae, Pimp, Steelgirl, Wolfy, PrincessCassidy, Blue Hawk, Kamiya, and many others, forgive me if I missed you, but its hard to think straight. I hope you all I have a blessed day......
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