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myOtaku.com: Vicious 2


Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Out of the shadows
I'm sorry I have been gone so long. It's so hard to come back because this site has been so much to me. I lost the one thing that make my life worth something and I wasnt going to post this. I dont want to drop my burdens on anyone. I just wanted everyone to know I was alive, barely. Last week was the worst week of my life, because I lost my life. Me and Vicky arent together anymore. It really sux. I have to start all over again being her friend. I get to be her best friend though which is good, but thats just not enough for me. I am really trying to be patient but I want her back so badly. Its driving me crazy. I just hate everything now. I want to be with her forever or my life has no direction. I feel that I have nothing to live for anymore right now. My motivation is just lost. My hatred for my writing has grown exceedingly higher than ever. All i can write about is the break up and the future. I cant even focus on my current projects. And please dont tell her this, I dont want her to feel anymore sadness or pain. I just needed to get this out, holding it in might've killed me. She asked if me being her friend was too much to ask. It's, its asking less. I want to give her more than that and the concept of being friends means that all the barriers and restrictions come back up and i feel trapped. i miss being her boyfriend and one day i will be again.
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