Tuesday, January 16, 2007

   Bum-a-thon, Rant-a-thon: Do I know you?
Last night I found out school was cancelled, so I had even more reason to be a bum.

I was so bored I did what I thought I'll never do. I went to myspace.com. No, I didn't sign up to be a member. I found the option where you can look for people who went to your high school, and I messed with that. To my amazement, all these people I knew from high school showed up! Yes, you are all probably rolling your eyes because you've done this shit 10 years ago, but it's new to me. Anywayz, all these people's profiles showed up, and wow, I don't know if I was amused or just plain disgusted.

Reading some of the profiles. Lord, I was so apalled. You're... "down to earth" or "a really good person" you say? Or they have some lame quote about life on their webpage that you know they don't live by. Damn, it made me sick to my stomach. There were so many dirtbags' profiles I looked through whom I used to know in real life, and the profiles were quite exagerated. Then I somehow found the profiles of people that I simply disliked. Vomit. Quoting the Bible, though you harassed people back in school you scum.

I shouldn't hold people for who they were back in time... But how much different can they be? I'll just stick to bitching at them for the sake of my point in this blog post.

That made me sick to my stomach. Why? Think of all the liars on the internet that are trying to be your friend. You'll never know who they really are. Few might be thinking, "Well why the hell do you still talk to me, Thanh?"

Well, I don't know either. I stopped looking for friends on the internet a long time ago. Since high school, except for one who I chatted to in college, and check up on every now and then. I have few friends in real life. Even invisible people on AIM I can't even keep up with. I eventually yell at people I don't know on my buddy list. I am the worst networker I know. The worst. Why don't I ever meet up with anyone?

Safety. Safety is my number one concern. Number two? Is delusion. I have a mind set of what someone is, and I don't want to mess with that delusion. I'm just reluctant to see people in real life, their flaws or imperfections. It's pessimistic. But I announce it's a safety issue, now I question is it really? So whoever's been keeping up with me for years, though we've not met, thankyou. =P

I need to grow up.

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Friday, January 12, 2007

   Well, I'm back.
I can't believe one month went by so quickly. Actually it went by slowly, but as the end approached, it seems like it went by quickly as I look back.

I felt out of place in Viet Nam, and back in America I feel out of place as well. The night before I left, someone asked me is there anything for me to linger about in VN, and I said that it's a sort of guilty feeling, though I wasn't able to express it right. Actually now that I'm back, it's a little bit of guilt and regret. Guilt because living in America is luxerious compared to the crap they have to deal with back there. Regret because I wish I'd spent my time wiser, but I don't really know what else I would've done differently except in controlling certain circumstances. And most of all, regret for not expressing more things that were on my mind to people I'll not see in a few years, or ever again.

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Thursday, January 4, 2007

The end is near...
Man I am such a bum ever since I've come back to Ha Tien. I wait and wait until 4 pm every day so that I can take the bike out for a ride. I am such a biker. It's so badass. No, I don't want to use the moped, and I don't think Dad will let me. Anywayz, riding the bike around has been one of the best experiences so far. Yes, there's the travelling, but just being able to take myself around this little city makes me feel so good. The giant hills, the jungle, the market, the tourist counstruction, the beach, and ah, yes, the people who yell out harassments as I skeeter by. =P. Grandma says I'm really talented for riding so far every day. Then again, she'll say I'm talented for knowing how to tie my shoes.

Yesterday during my ride, a guy rode up next to me and started talking, asking why I haven't left yet. I was like, man do I know you? And he's like YEAH! But it turned out that he mistakened me for some other girl.

I've drank so much coffee here. And more beer in these few weeks than I have a year in the states.

Another biggie is that my ass finally asked around instead of being dependent on scouring the internet for information about charging my ipod oversees. God, it's been so boring since it ran out of batteries. I recently decided with the advice of some friends that it should be safe to charge my ipod with my usb cord, praying it won't explode b/c the computers and outlets here expell 240V. It's charging peacefully right now, and God I cannot wait to disconnect it and listen to some mooosak.

Alright, so I'll be home in a few days. God thinking about the plane ride just kills me.


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Sunday, December 17, 2006

Hey all.

I've been in VN for over a week now. All has been OK. Right now I'm staying on Phu Quoc Island. Scenic place. A lot larger than I expected.

=]
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Tuesday, December 5, 2006

   Today I'm leaving for 'Nam.

Got my stuff all packed. ~30% of all the things stuffed in our suitcases are stuff to give to people.

I'm going to be there... for such a long time! About a month, actually a little over a month if you count the plane-ride part. Oh, the plane ride-- I dread it! Today's the 5th... so I won't be in my parents' hometown until around the 8th, including the air trip and car ride in Nam.

I went out to buy a book yesterday, I heard on the radio a year ago how funny this book was, so I thought it'll entertain me on the plane: "The-Know-It-All: One Man's Humble Quest to Become the Smartest Person in the World". I might have to leave the iPod at home, seeing how eforcity.com wouldn't let me change my shipping option (for a travel charger) to 3-days after I mistakenly selected Standard. For a company that sells technology stuff, their website and company policies sure suck. You can't even cancel your order, that's how much they suck those sucking suckface suckatoids. Oh well. I was a bit awry using any chargers in Asia, seeing how their voltage can fuck up your things, even with power adapters, so this may be a blessing in disguise.

There are a few things I want to do this time that I didn't do 5 years ago. This includes driving a moped, making a friend, and helping out a beggar. Not to sound like an asshole, but those beggars can be pretty scary (or annoying), I'll tell you that. Some will sit next to you while you're eating and beg or just plain stalk you and get their friends to, too! Things that I'll do from most likely to least likely? Drive a moped, help out a beggar, make a friend. =P.

That's all I have to say for now, I wish you guys an awesome Christmas and New Years! Perhaps I'll update over there, depending on how paranoid I'll feel about people stealing my information or if net access is readily available.

Take care!

--visualkei


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Sunday, December 3, 2006

   Today one of my classmates sent an email out to our group (made up of ~20 future teachers including me) which included a short article. A little tid-bit about her mom's own class, thought it'll be nice to share with you guys.


ONE CHILD WHO MADE A DIFFERENCE!

Last January, Serena Godwin of Ms. LouAnn and Ms. Sandi’s three-year-old class, put together a care package for Captain Keith McBride who was serving in Iraq. In that care package was an angel made in her Preschool class which was to serve as his guardian angel while away. He wrote back with great appreciation as well as a picture of the angel hanging in his Hummer for protection. After returning home safely in October 2005, Cpt. McBride came to visit Serena. He returned to her the well-traveled angel and presented her with a Certificate of Appreciation for outstanding support during Operation Iraqi Freedom III signed by the officers of his unit. Here is a perfect example of the huge impact our teachers have on our little ones and the world alike! Thank you!

And thank you, soldiers, for all the things you do for our country. <3

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Monday, November 27, 2006

Winter Again.
Some winter. The weather here is still so warm and tshirt-shorts wearable.

My parents recently told me the news that they're sending me to Viet Nam. Viet Nam! It was abrupt, so I had to get my papers done fast, not to mention pay the extra $100 to get my passport emergency delivered to me. Government charges, bloodsuckers.

At first my sister was supposed to go with me and my pops, but since she gets out of finals too late, she had to pass up a big vacation. So it'll just be me and my dad. I'm basically there to keep an eye on him for my mom. **exasperated sighing**

I hate the *sigh*s, I know, but I actually let out a big sigh typing that. =P

Besides that part, I'm looking forward to the old country. The cheap stuff, annoying people, tropical climate, mopeds, my grandparents' 3-story houses, and being a foreigner. I'm actually considered really tall over there. I'm only 5'4 (a girl, by the way). It's been over 5 years since I've been there, and I hear it's changed. Cleaner, they say. Yeah right. My parents' hometown is this sweet tropical somewhat tourist-attracting place bordering Cambodia. It screams "invade me!" to the Khmer Rouge. Driving around in a moped I can see Cambodia, and these famous VietNamese islands that take forever to get to. They let you drive like 20 miles an hour max or something like that, so what would normally take 4 hours to get to in the states takes 3 times longer in VietNam. =/

I'm looking forward to wondering around in Saigon, too. It's crazy there, and I love it. There's always something interesting to gawk at.

I'll be leaving in a week. For now, I'm just chillaxing at home until I have to endure the horrible flight. It'll be a horrible flight.


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Wednesday, November 15, 2006

   Reflection.
Today was the last day of Tutoring. Looking back, I feel like my student and I have come a long way in a short time. I'll remind you that this is the same student that I considered dropping over a month ago. (Refer to blog: Oct.11)

The tutoring program was very casual, and it was unusual for a student to be uncooperative. When I met him, I knew he was something else. I soon found out he had a history of being disruptive. My time with him was extremely inefficient because of behavioral issues. Things were OK at first. Then bad. Then worse.

I seriously considered dropping this kid. Then I found out that because of his behavioral issues, he had to be removed from his classroom, and placed in another. Someone commented to me that this wasn't the first time. So what happened? Guilt. I couldn't do it to him. I didn't want to be another person in this educational system for him to walk away from. Literally. This kid walked away from me so many times for the randomest reasons. Besides the guilt, I was a bit stubborn. I thought to myself, "No, I'm not going to let one kid get to me already."

Luckily during all this transition in his life, we got paired up with a sweet girl and her partner who were not his mortal enemies like the ones before. I was relieved to have some support from the other tutor who also empathized with me and admitted that being around him caused her anxiety. So I knew it just wasn't me. I set out a plan for his sake and mine. I changed the way I spoke to him; my language became very clear and direct. I created checklists so he'll always know what to expect. Not only that, but I wanted him to, and he needed to see something tangible and "official." He was responsible for marking off the checklist so we could move onto the next activity. I wanted him to have a sense of importance in our routine. I also arranged it so that we would be away from everyone else so he wouldn't compare his experience to others.

During this time he was adjusting to his classroom. He had "up" and "down" days, but his behavior improved ALOT. Some days I would not see him, usually because he was in the principal's office. Yet, he didn't act out his temper because of bad days. One time he got mad at me because he didn't get to go to the Halloween party. He was in the principal's office and I couldn't retrieve him that day. He was such a brat when he saw me again that my professor had to pull him aside and talk to him. Later when he returned, I spoke to him. It was strange because just having a conversation about that put him in a good mood again.

On Monday he was in an extra good mood and presented me a picture he drew hearts and stars. I was in so much shock. Today was our last day together. I brought him a book I made with his pictures and the words he spoke that I recorded throughout the semester. I also gave him a container of jokes and took him to my class to get cake and goodies. Except for one moment, he was so cooperative, it was weird. He even asked me permission before he went to get water. Seriously, he used to run off somewhere and not tell me at all! I guess he knew today was the last, and we had better make the best of it.

In a way I'm a little sad that it's ended when things were looking up.

But God knows I'm also relieved!

=P

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Thursday, November 9, 2006

One of them.
Today one of my students became very upset while working on a problem. He cried. This was very unlike him because he usually has no academic challenges, and the math problem should have been relatively easy for him. He’s been on my mind, so I’m just going to GO ON A TANGENT about him.

I’ll refer to him as the random letter “Z.”

I adore this student. There are two students in the class that I secretly dote on, and he is one of them. When I first met Z, I wondered who in the world is this short kid with stylish hair, wears black pants and a band t-shirt everyday, and refers to himself as a “punk”? I noticed as the days went by that he was an excellent student in mathematics, spelling, comprehension, problem solving, and so on. Not only that, but his punkish demeanor is deceiving to the eye, because he yields to authority figures and shows his fellow students respect. Z’s also a daredevil, often jumping off of high places during recess, sliding down stairway rails, and skateboarding. He loves skateboarding.

One day during recess he came up to me, and told me his brother got into a fight and hurt. I didn’t know he had an older brother. His brother was a skinny medium height blonde kid that looked nothing like him. I looked at his black eye, and warned the group of boys. Z told me his brother got into a fight because he was defending Z. I didn’t know what to do in these situations, and reported it to my cooperating teacher as the older kids went up stairs. My teacher actually had Z’s older brother as a student 2 years ago. She hurried to the kid’s class and asked the teacher if they knew what happened. No one noticed one of the students had a black eye after recess. She told them what happened, they pulled the boys out, and the brother began to bawl. It must have seemed to him that no one was aware of this, and no one seemed to care, so I guess it was a relief for him to get some justice.

After school some of the teachers discussed this, and my cooperating teacher mentioned something really interesting. When she had Z’s older brother, she was a little worried about him. She thought he might have been depressed. A depressed child! That’s so sad… =*(

Another day during recess, I watched Z smash rocks by throwing them with great force. Even though he was a short kid, I’ve always thought he had muscular arms and big hands. Except for his height, he has athletic features. To think, these 10-year-old arms and hands could smash these big rocks. I walked closer to observe as he threw a rock mightily into the meeting of two cement planes. The hand-sized rock burst and I shrieked, afraid one of the pieces will hit me. Z asked if I was hit, and I assured him I was OK. I asked him what in the world was he doing, and he showed me that he discovered that these giant dull rocks actually had a marble-like interior. I was really surprised that he’d realized this on his own! The rocks he broke were so beautiful inside… I noticed he had a sort of assembly going on. His friends were sitting in a circle, grinding the rock shards into sand-like pieces. The final result was a fine crystal-like grain of a pinkish color. It was marvelous. I noticed earlier in the day that he had really pretty grains of sand in a plastic cereal bowl on his desk, but never did it cross my mind that he made them.

Z did something really strange one day. He hit somebody. I turned around, and one of the boys was crying and holding onto his belly. What in the world? Then I find out Z did it, and what did Z have to say for himself? He said that he was supposed to be somebody’s bodyguard, and he was doing his job when he hit that boy to protect the other boy. He got sent to the principal’s office.

The Vice Principal talked to him, and mentioned that sometimes we have things going on at home that bothers us and we take these feelings to school. Z told her that there was something going on at home that bothered him. I was told that he cried so much. I don’t know if the Vice Principal asked the appropriate question, because for children, if you suggest something, they may just agree with you. She then called his dad, and told him what happened, and told him that Z said there was something going on at home that bothered him. His dad didn’t react much, and that was the end of that. My coop teacher commented that that was weird because he usually checks up on Z a lot through email and communication with her.

So today we had someone from Pizza Hut come by to teach a fractions lesson with pizza. Then they provided the children with free pizza. They were all so excited. =]. Before the teacher handed out the pizza, she gave them a pizza problem. Everyone worked on this problem with fervor, and when they were finished, they showed her their paperwork, and got some pizza. Now, everyone gets pizza, even if you don’t finish the problem, you’ll get some but not as soon as others who finished earlier. I’m walking around, assisting everyone with the problem. I thought I was done, and everyone got pizza, but I suddenly noticed, hey, Z is still working on his! That’s weird. Then I realized that his face looked flustered, even though his hair covered his eyes. I realized he was upset. He covered and wiped his face with a paper towel on his desk, and he kept drawing circles on his paper. I think he was crying. He said he didn’t want any pizza, though the teacher set some on his desk. Then everyone got dismissed for lunch, but Z remained sitting at his desk fixated on his paper. I took the children downstairs for lunch, and came up to see the teacher talking to him. He then got up, took his pizza and left the room.

The teacher and I discussed a little about what happened. I thought that perhaps the pressure to get done and get pizza threw him off. The teacher said that perhaps there was something else on his mind. That never occurred to me. Now this student has been a little heavy on my heart. I watched him during recess when he fell face forward on the gravel, lost a shoe in the process, and didn’t even pout a bit. The day ended normally, but his behavior’s been on my mind.





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Wednesday, November 8, 2006

   We Want YOU!
I gave excuses for why I didn't vote. Now I feel like I cheated myself. The elections for The House and Governor has been set here already.

Next year I shall vote.

=]

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