Tuesday, June 6, 2006

The last three "poems" I posted are actually lyrics of Vietnamese songs my mom sung to me, my sisters, and my cousins when we were babes. I'm not for certain about the first two, but the last one, Leaving the Village, was definately a song she sang. All I could remember were the words, "planks" and "bamboo." Actually, I didn't even realize the meaning of the words, just remembered the sounds. I came upon research over these songs a little over a year ago, and listened to some of the recordings to it. It's a little confusing to decipher because she'd sang them so long ago, and they all have similar melodies. Supposedly, these songs have been around some time, but no one had taken the liberty to record them orally or on print until recently.

And I tell you, it makes me sad to listen to them, and even more melancholy to learn what they meant. When I was little, I just knew the sounds and tunes of the songs, and even that by itself made me feel both sad and peaceful. Lullabies I tell you.

The Love Lament was depressing, but what really got to me was when I listened to it, I kept missing the beginning and end, though I kept replaying it to compare it to the english. The translations, they have a different effect. But the beginning and end in both languages still stand out the most to me.

The Second Wife was simply lamentable, and I decided it deserved some space.


I don't mean to be one of those annoying bloggers that post up stupid lyrics and poems no one cares about but them. But I thought these were short and sweet.

=]
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Monday, June 5, 2006

Yesterday was Thai's birthday. Each year I celebrate it with him, and however old he is, is however old I am. And I do feel older now. Older and older. =P

It was fun last night, because all I did was feel silly. At my cousin's bday dinner I smiled so much. I think that's the most I've smiled all year long. I bet I went to sleep smiling. I did.



Leaving the Village

Even when cross planks are nailed down
Bamboo bridges are shakily unsound
Hard going
Hard going

So push on home the title flats
To catch a crab
To the river for fish
To our sandy patch for melons
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Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Last night I watched a series of ghost stories with my sister. Then half the 1st season of Lost. At the end of the night I retired to her room, and boy, I had a good ass sleep. Even though the pillow in her room was big and fluffy.

Just when I thought I was going to sleep tonight. Lights off, and blanket pulled up, I frightened myself, and decided to turn the computer back on. Irrational, isn't it?

Some people say your mind goes crazy thinking of the supernatural because there is something else bothering your mind. I think it's all sorts of things. Sometimes psychological/emotional, sometimes the creepy. When it's a psyche thing, I think that deep inside, most of us know what it is, though we express this frustration as something else-- or something completely unrelated.

I watched a lot of movies this weekend. And ate a lot. That's it. =]




The Second Wife

A breeze stirs banana leaves
Behind the house
You are crazy about your second wife
And neglect our children
And the children, well
With one on each arm
How should I draw the water
Or rinse the rice?

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Monday, May 29, 2006

Love Lament

Stepping into the field,
Sadness fills my deep heart.
Bundling rice seeds,
Tears dark,
In two streaks.

Who made me miss the ferries leaving--
Who made the shallow creek that parts both sides.
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Thursday, May 25, 2006

Sky High

By visualkei

Stars drifting in the night sky
The crescent moon
A ghostly lantern

On the earth
My eyes gaze up
Leading this still soul
In a quiet trance.
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Tuesday, May 23, 2006

   My Jaw.
Alright. So my jaw's been hurting like a #$%@# $%@^@#^@# since Saturday because my wisdom tooth is growing in, and somehow it's locking up my mouth. So here's to you, my Jaw.

My Jaw

By visualkei

I can not open my small mouth
Because it’s somewhat locked
I try to pry it open with hands
But it’s sealed by an invisible padlock

It sounds like scratching glass
When I pull my jaw open
My sister says it sounds as if
Her ear popped when my mouth loosened

I have to cut my food
Into tiny little pieces
To squeeze it in my mouth
As some asshole laughs and teases

When I talk back to people
They say they don’t understand
Because my words are slurred
It sounds like I’m from China mainland

I’m addicted to Advil now
To stop the damn pain
Directions say take 1 every 4-6 hours
But to me it doesn’t pertain

Now I don’t know what to do
Too broke to see a dentist
I’m going to operate on myself
Because this way’s the cheapest.

=P

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Thursday, April 27, 2006

So I was driving away home from school when I noticed some fresh road kill on the road. Couldn't figure out if it was a cat or racoon. Then I went back to school again, and on the way back, I noticed two huge birds pecking at the carcass. Usually chickens wander around this elementary school, so I figured these must be like turkeys or something from the small farm nearby. I drive up closely, about a yard and a half from these birds, thinking, man these birds are so ugly. Then I realized, they're VULTURES! Wah!!!!! They're so scary, and all black, looking like big turkeys without their feathers spread. ::shivers:: Vultures, why are they so frightening? Oh yeah, because they feed off of flesh, even if the animal is still alive.


I don't mean to make this entry sound emo or self centered, but I gotta mention this.

Last night during sleep, I don't think I dreamt of anything, but I felt an overwhelming sadness in my sleep, and kept waking up realizing tears were streaming down my face. It's so strange because I don't remember dreaming or thinking of anything sad. I'm starting to think I've hallucinated this.

Ever had this experience?
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Saturday, April 22, 2006

It seems to me that we can't explain all the truly awful things in the world like war and murder and brain turmors, and we can't fix these things that are closer to us and we magnify them until they burst open. Inside is something that we can manage, something that isn't as awful as it had at first seemed. It is a relief to discover that although there might be axe murderers and kidnappers in the world, most people seem a lot like us: sometimes afraid and sommetimes brave, sometimes cruel and sometimes kind.

--Walk Two Moons
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Wednesday, April 5, 2006

Those of you who know me, know I have this awful... finger(s). There are a lot of reasons why I think my finger got "deformed." Let's not talk about how the fuckers got grody. I finally got surgery for it last weekend. Don't know if it'll go away fosho, but just hoping. I'm very positive one of my fingers is not cured. The other one, well, we'll see. It looks so messed up right now. lol. Hopefully, 3 more to go.


On my way home, I was driving through the apartment complex when I noticed this kid chasing after me in the mirror. Perhaps he's just a kid running. Needs the exercise, I thought. I kept driving until I came upon a speed bump, and slowed down. He catches up and knocks on my window. Tells me a man is following him with a gun, and asks for a ride back to his building. So I let him into my shotgun =P and dropped him off at his place. Contacted the police, they came, etc.


The kids in this city. Gad, they bug me sometimes. It bugs me. Part of my job takes place in a middle school. That place is awful. It's horrible. It's the awful way I remembered how middle school was for me. Intimidating, threatening, dangerous. Poor. Sad. Then there's a little hope.

But overall, it's the kind of atmosphere where you go because you're forced to. I know, I hate pubescent kids. lol. But really, a kid that gets good grades in this kind of school, and can keep up a hopeful attitude is a strong kid. Sometimes people bitch about how kids from lower socioeconomic statuses get a head start. Well, no doubt there are things wrong with how they're trying to make things "fair" in the social classes and school system.

But damm, many kids need this head start, the environment they're in is almost set up for them to give up, or fail. No, don't feel sorry for these kids. Some of them are punks... and a lot deserve a chance.




I just wanna take a bath without a plastic bag on one hand.

=P
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Tuesday, March 28, 2006

   Random
You know what I like?
People who dance
like they don't care
who the heck is watching them.
Not trying to impress anybody.
Just having fun.
Even if it's all by themselves.
I dig that.

=]
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