Sunday, January 13, 2008

Half a Year Later
It was wonderful being a bum over the winter break. And I got to catch up on the Naruto Shippuuden episodes. Yes, I'm serious, I'm still into that. I really should've listened to people when they told me I could just skip through the filler episodes from the first series, but I didn't. What a waste of time! I think I'm going to spend a lot of time on anime and manga during the summer. OMG I can't wait! .....I guess I just won't grow out of it.

And this leads to a point of more substance in my entry.....



Sometimes the kids laugh when they realize how childish their teacher is sometimes. The lame jokes she makes, the clouds and rainbows on the shoes she wears, the expression she makes when she realizes her stomach grumbled so loud the whole class could hear. I guess it's a good thing.

I had a friend who was really upset when her grandmother was suffering from cancer. She told me that when she looked at her grandma, she realized that this woman was once someone's little girl. How people, with their careers, families, grandchildren, no matter how old they are, we have these impressions of them on the outside. They're still people like us, with faults and vulnerabilities. Growing old on the outside, but on the inside can be or feel like a child. I guess I elaborated on what she said, but I remember her expressing it more eloquently several years ago, a conversation that really stuck with me. I look at my mom, and I wonder why the hell doesn't she grow up sometimes, and I see that in myself. When I'm in my forties, some kid is gonna look at me and tell me to fucking grow up. I look at my sister, and she dresses well, and will probably marry before me. Then I look at myself, and wonder if I should continue shopping where I do or take a man already. But this is me.

As I grow older (and I'm not that old compared to all the "old" folks I know), I realize that I'm not too different from people I know in their 30's or 40's, and so on. Something I have is..... more time. And whether I use this time wisely, sometimes yes, sometimes no. I guess I'll have an answer to that when I'm old.



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