Saturday, August 26, 2006

   Top 10 Reasons Why Nobody Except My Sister Will Be My Only Roommate Next Fall (in third person):
In ascending order from bad to worse...


1. Your roommate is a Jehovah’s Witness. She requested that you not wear your shirt with the dragon on it because it’s the Devil.

2. Your roommate literally lives in your living room. Her bed, dresser, desk, and books are there. She sleeps next to you while you’re eating and watching tv. =P

3. The roommate you shared a room with had to confess to you that she let her boyfriend sleep in the bedroom while you’re away for the weekend. You’re OK with that, but she adds that she made him sleep in your closet so he can be near her but not NEAR her. LOL.

4. Your roommate decides to cook lots of food all week and bake cakes—then takes off for the break, and leaves you with the giant pile of dishes to wash before YOU can take off for the break. You wash it because you’re tired of mold.

5. Your roommate washes her dishes once a week. Her rice cooker begins to mold, so you place it outside on the balcony. You explain to her later that it’s to prevent from inhaling the toxins. She gets mad at you. (One time your dad comes to visit, shrieks, and informs that her rice cooker is growing moldy, and that it’s poisonous. You agree.)

6. Your roommate’s alarm clock sounds like a fucking car being broken into next to your bed every time it goes off. She doesn’t even turn it off after hours of ringing. You had to “dismantle” the alarm for her.

7. Your roommate’s boyfriend’s guy friends lay on top of you when you’re taking a nap. Then they denied it and started blaming each other. Then they blamed you.

8. While lying on the carpet, you feel something itchy. You look around and notice hair all over your bedroom and bathroom. You scream. It turns out your roommate who shares your room gave her boyfriend a haircut in the BATHROOM AND BEDROOM. And left the mess there while she goes home for the weekend. You wonder if it’s only the hairs on his head that were cut… or are there OTHER hairs? You scream again.

9. You come home in the middle of the night your roommate threw a party. The party thrower ditched her party, and is sleeping soundly in her bedroom with her boyfriend while two of her friends are making themselves comfortable in your room. One is lying on your bed and barfing on the side.

10. Your roommate signs everyone into a binding 12 months lease (when you wanted 9 months) because she can’t read the damn fine print. She’s a business major.




What’s great about having my sister as a roommate? My parents allow me to hit her. But I don’t think that would be necessary. =D



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