Thursday, November 2, 2006

Remember children, You are crunchy and Taste good With Ketchup.
Eeeek. I. Hate. cramps. I feel like crap. Thankfully Leah had lots of excedrin.. but it didn't kick in at all in any way whatsoever until about ten minutes ago.. Oh joy.
I have a hair appointment in about twenty minutes. I'm getting it dyed and restyled and everything. I need something new. Well... I sort of had something new, considering I decided to dye it purple with *temporary* dye on halloween. I didn't know they meant a week to ten days when they said temporary. So now I have this faded purpley orange hair.. yes, everything I put in my hair makes it turn red. no matter what. Every time I dye it, it pretty much ends up red again. But its so embarrassing. Most of the purple dye came out of the ends of my hair, but like the roots and that first four inches is an arch of orange to pink to purpley red, then fading into my typical dark blonde. Everyone at school cracks jokes at me about it, but then they apologize and say that they understand.. oh well. So now I'm a huge mess and really don't want to change or do my make-up before I go. My hair is like all poofy and sticking in every direction, but I figure I'm going to go get it all fixed anyway, so I'll let them do it. Lazy mood. I'm just still typing just to be typing. I don't want to have to get up yet. I finally found a position that isn't very painful.
I guess I should be going. only ten minutes left now. wow that took me forever to type. right. well. so long dearies, laters and loves..
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Sunday, October 29, 2006

   As the day draws to a close
It got dark at 5:30 today. The time changed last night. I used to think that darkness at 6:30 was bad enough.. For when it gets dark, and I have awoken at 4 in the morning, I get tired. In the summer.. nights are the best part. But during school time they are only brief periods of rest in which we see odd movies and never see the ending because we are ripped out of bed without the desire for rest fulfilled. Sleep is so shallow lately. Even in sleep, the slightest noise awakens me; the fleetest of a scary dream terrifies me. Nights are just too short. Which is why there are such things as energy drinks to get us through the day ><
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Saturday, October 28, 2006

   If only it had been made of jello
Kicking walls out of anger only results in pain. So I don't think that's a healthy way to release anger. But biting off the heads of animal crackers.. yes. That's a healthy way to release anger...
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Friday, October 27, 2006

   cookies and milk.
Wasn't the best day. I was really out of it. NOt really out of it, just like spaced out. If I let my eyes stray for but a second, I would space. It was just odd. At lunch I was so hungry.. usually I never am.. so I ate like two huge tacos and got sick.. and then everyone thought I was sad but I just had to keep repeating to everyone that I just didn't feel so great. Funny how that is.
I'm pretty sure I'm glad this week is almost over. I am. A lot of fun things happened, but a lot of not so great things happened.
I just came home and cried today. My mom isn't my mother. She's sister farnsworth. Sister Farnsworth is my sunday school teacher. I despise her. She is the onriest person I've ever met, and every single one of her lessons are given only with the intention of making us feel guilty and worthless. Or at least thats what we get out of them. Anyhow, this toad decided she was gonna be nice and help out in Helping Hands.. you know, the group that donates their time to people.. so she shows up at my house to see if she could help out with my gram. That's when she realized who my mom was and realized she was my mother. Now she's totally taken over my moms mind and our house is hekk. Today.. was one of the worst days since she met my mom. I can't really explain. I'm sick of thinking about it. Hurts my brain.
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Thursday, October 26, 2006

Snakes.. on an airplane
Ohhhh... oh oh oh oh oh. I need something and I don't know what. Need to do something. Need to eat something.. need to scream maybe? or just sleep? or sing so loudly that it makes the walls resonate? oh wow i hear sirens. I NEEd somehting.. need to accomplish something. Mmm i dunno what to do. I wish I had someone to talk to just to talk about nothing with right now. i never get to talk about nothing anymore. Now, whenever I talk to someone, there's a purpose to it. There's a reason I'm telling them and they're telling me it. I remember one day - lots of days - with Leah. We'd talk and laugh for a long while, and then when there was nothing left to be said, we'd sit in silence. But somehow we knew what the other was saying. Without words. Then one of us would bring up a memory or a bit or piece of life that would just be being manipulated upon for the sake of speaking. Just to hear the others voice. Leah and I used to do it all the time. Now.. we're never alone. The only time I have with her, is in the car and Patsy's there, or at school. And Leah always has zillions of people hanging off of her. I miss Leah. I miss Cyndy. I miss lots of people. But I think now I'm going to work on getting them back again.
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Wednesday, October 25, 2006

And off they went into the wild blue yonder
Oh my gosh last night was so awesome. For me anyways, it was good for everyone else until Leah and Marissa got in a fight while I was asleep on leahs lap.. but anyway. We went and saw Peg Of My Heart in Cedar City. It was like 40 degrees and raining and I forgot a coat. deliciousness..
Leah decided to stay home today and catch up on sleep, but instead ended up not feeling good and staying home because she had to instead of wanted to. Yeah. It was strange without her today. Today was the first day she's missed. It was a lot quieter. And I didn't have as much fun as usual. Leah just makes everything better. Unless she's mad at me of course. Which she isn't right now. Far from, thankfully. I thought she was but last night.. I was pretty much asleep as in I couldn't move and everything was dream-like but for a while I could hear what was going on.. Leah was talking to Marissa.. it just feels good to hear someone speak beautifully about you when they don't know you're listening. Its not like I had a choice whether I was listening or not.. ever had that?
Anyway, I better get going. Going to the corn maze tonight. I GET TO SEE CYNDY LALALALALALA!
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Monday, October 23, 2006

   the demons of cyberspace have come to steal your pickles
She didn't know whether to smile or frown. Today had been an odd day. A fun, blissful, obnoxious headache. .. ... .... .....
Exactly.
She can't wait for tomorrow. It is going to be lots of fun. And she epecially wants Wednesday to come. It will be fun too, she's sure. She gets to see Cyndy! For like a whole five hours!
yummy stuff.
She doesn't really know quite what to say right now.. except she's sure she's gone insane.
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Sunday, October 22, 2006

   So frustrated!!! CYNDY I NEED YOU!!! I'm going insane here. I like so never get to talk to you anymore! I do, but not really! i miss u..
I don't want to return to reality quite yet. Try not to think about the unfinished homework laying sprawled across my bed. Try not to think about tomorrow being another monday. Try not to think about anything.. don't want to stay home, don't want to begin another week, don't want to clean, do chores, finish homework, go to classes, drive in the freakin car for hours. Don't want to be me. Act like me.
I'm going insane here.
My mind is just beating against the inside of my skull begging to get out.
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Saturday, October 21, 2006

Things don't feel so great for her right now. She had a quarrel with a friend, and though it was resolved now, she is sure that her friend meant every word that she had said. Khepri called her to try to talk it out, but they lost reception before everything was put together again. Leah had looked Khepri in the eye and said that she wasn't mad at her. Only for Khepri to find the agrivated email from her friend a day later. Even though neither of them are mad.. or at least so Khepri thinks.. Khepri still feels that there's so much more that wasn't said that needed to be. Friends need to communicate better than this when they have to see eachother almost 24/7. Both of them need to start letting each other know how we feel, when they're feeling it or else, Khepri is afraid, this friendship won't be how it should be. Of course, as always, Khepri is fretting over something that will work itself out.. but she just has to talk about it or her mind will manipulate and go over it until she completely goes crazy and then when people are worried and try to find out why, she can't tell them her reasoning because its so silly sounding. She was fretting over nothing.
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   Her popcorn had been stolen from her by a cat. The ultimate crime. Not even big sad puppy-dog eyes could get it back..
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