Tuesday, January 1, 2008

cute story
A boy had reached four without giving up the habit of sucking his thumb, though his mother had tried everything from bribery to reasoning to painting it with lemon juice to discourage the
habit. Finally she tried threats, warning her son that, "If you
don't stop sucking your thumb, your stomach is going to blow up
like a balloon." Later that day, walking in the park, mother and
son saw a pregnant woman sitting on a bench. The four-year-old
considered her gravely for a minute, then spoke to her saying,
"Uh-oh .. I know what you've been doing."
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Saturday, December 29, 2007

So.. I am completely in love with Death Note.. omg.. L.. AHHHH!!!! :D *passes out* I tend to completely fall in love with anime characters. Isn't that terribly sad? It used to be Yuki, but now-- mmm how I wish they were real^^
But.. the sad thing is.. I only got to episode 13. I stayed at Cyndy's last night and I stayed up until three watching. But.. I'm a wimp so I got too tired to stay up any longer and now I'm regretting it wishing I had watched a little more. Must. See. L.
Anyhow, sorry, umm.. today has been alright. I threw a hissy fit for no apparent reason. Probably because I'm not used to staying up so late. Mom told me that we were going to St. George together and I thought she meant just the two of us, and when the time came to leave, her boyfriend Jeff got in the car too and I got upset. I really hate him and had no interest in listening to him and mom go at it all day. He's a retarded jerk. So anyhow, crying little me went emo and hid in my room reading The Hobbit for the english assignment and eating chocolate while rocking in my chair. I guess mom felt bad and wanted to talk to me, but I knew what she would say and I didn't want to hear it because it's just the same crap and the promises she never keeps so I just ignored her and kept reading. I usually never do anything like that but I was just plain moody today. I don't even know why, I don't have a good reason and I feel like an idiot for it. But anyways, mom is back and hasn't said anything about earlier. I slept the whole time they were gone because I figured that I needed it, so I'm feeling a bit better now.
But my dad is coming down tomorrow and will be here until Wednesday. That made me a little upset, but now, thinking about it, I realize that a. at least I don't have to spend the next week with him up in Salt Lake and b. if he is here that means Jeff won't be. So I'm a little happier.
So, this was a long one and if you actually read it all then you must have been pretty bored. Sorry^^


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Thursday, December 27, 2007

So.. it's not letting me comment. I'm sorry. I get the error on page icon whenever I try and no amount of refreshing suits its fancy. Sorry:(
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Sunday, December 23, 2007

what my life has consisted of
christmas trees
ornery sisters
emotional mom
peppermint tea
The Hobbit
Bag Of Bones
Lord Of The Flies
finals
Literary Analysis
Response Essays
Charlie and The Chocolate Factory
chicken soup
fudge
brownie Cookies
Say Anything
Reba McEntire
ribbons
pig-tails
pajamas
church
viola
bach
bruch
colored pencils
carrots
socks
dead batteries
mascara
Leah
Monica
Mindee
Cyndy
Chomper
tootsie rolls
ear buds
red rocking chair
lip gloss
world civ
pre-cal
physics
the nativity
cree
Fall Out Boy
peanuts
wheat bread
cd's
hot chocolate
christmas lights
cold showers
herbal essences
scotch tape
shopping
hugs

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Saturday, December 8, 2007

Well, I am glad this week is almost over. It was just depressing and stressful and stupid for everyone I think. I've been a bawling mess of a brat. But that is probably due to what happened with Andrew. He seemed so sweet.. and then he started giving me the break up talk and then I finished it. He was a good kisser. But that's all over, and I'll quit acting like the base of my mental foundations is made of glass and sitting at the edge of a canyon.
So, there's what, approxamately 16 days until Christmas? I wish I could spend it at Leah's. But home I am. I just want a christmas tree is all.
Anyhow, good luck to everyone, be happy, have fun, and all that jazz.

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Saturday, November 24, 2007

Well, I'm feeling better today. Yesterday was a crazy headache, so I'm destined to make today sweet and simple. I'm gonna practice my viola for a couple of hours and then I'm going to clean up my room. I might make cookies a little later, or maybe just try a new recipe. I just don't feel like doing anything crazy or complicated today.
I'm drinking some pomegranate tea right now and listening to Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield. I found this song yesterday and I really love it, just because it makes me feel good. It makes me want to dance.

So I have decided that cockatiels and cockatoos are the sweetest birds that exist. I mean I have so many birds and have had so many birds, and they are the gentlest ones. I held my little cockatiel Spikenard for over an hour today, and the whole time, he just snuggled up on my shoulder in what's left of my hair and stayed there for almost an hour and a half. Besides an pionus I had when I was little, no bird has just been so sweet. And I mentioned cockatoos because besides just being sweet and adorable, they have the cutest personalities. I have a gophen cockatoo that playes Yahtzee. Well anyhow, I have probably bored you. I love birds though:)

Well, I'm going to go practice. I have a four-page long piece to learn and I have not quite two months to do it in. I wouldn't be worried, but it is hard. Really hard.
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Thursday, November 22, 2007

Friend,
How I wish I were with you.
I dread it here
A place where we can’t even speak
Without fighting.
It shouldn’t be this way
But still the anger passes
Person to person
As they slice the pie
That I made,
And lick their spoons
That I set.
I know
That every November
You’re whole family combines
The sour and the sweet
To spend that time
Together.
Friend:
I am so jealous of you.
I know you sit there
Laughing with them,
As I sit here alone
And cry.
Oh friend,
I can’t even call you
To drip tears in the phone
And have you tell me
That everything’s gonna be alright.
‘cause I know you are happy
And I don’t want to ruin it-
‘cause I don’t want pity
Just comfort
One that no one will give me.
So friend:
Instead of this,
I sent a simple text.
Happy Thanksgiving.

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Saturday, November 17, 2007

“But remember now, everybody. You are fighting for the truth, and that’s why you’re alone. And that makes you strong—we’re the strongest people in the world.. And the strong must learn to be lonely.”
-Dr. Stockmann, An Enemy of The People


Something tells me that life is not going to go back to normal. Last school year was crazy, hectic, and I was busy as a dung beetle-- but I still had time. Classes were so nice. They weren't too easy, not too hard. Life at home was the same as it always has been, stressed and complicated. Gramma was still alive then. I still made her breakfast every morning and read to her and cleaned or talked to her at night. Stay up with her in that cold dark room if she wanted me too. I remember how I hated it a lot of the time. She was ornery and I was busy being a teenager. Mom and Patsy were always on edge and upset, and Jeff was Jeff. I thought it was so horrible then. I couldn't take the anger and the fighting that everyone created and spent as much time as I could at Leah's. Her house became my sanctuary. I miss last year.
But then Gram died. I never realized how she held us together. All of those things we were supposed to do together- go on vacation, buy a house, be a family. Never happened. We're still here where we were. Worse than before. No one can get along. When your income lowers, I've decided, people automatically seem to fight and be so stupidly angry and upset. Mom is out with Jeff always, even though all he does is break her down. When I am gone she always calls me, wants to know where I am, what I'm doing, everything. And then I come home and I don't exist. Patsy is different too. So angry. I don't even know her. And even when she is bubbly with me, she will turn around and complain at mom, at anyone.
School is harder for me. Added on two extra classes. With so much homework and practicing viola and life.. time isn't even here. I'm struggling so hard to keep my A's. I won't settle for less.

Mom and Jeff had a huge fight today. I listened to them fight, then watched it from the window. I'm always so scared he is going to hit her, or something. He never has but he seems so violent inside himself. It scares me. Anyhow, he started loading up his things in the truck. For a moment there I was so happy. Awestruck. He was leaving. But Mom knows how reckless he is. Especially when he is angry. She wouldn't let him leave, worried about the other people on the road. Victims of his anger? I don't know what happened after that. Mom came in late and Jeff a little later. I made dinner for everyone. Mom wore her sunglasses and plastered on a smile. She must not realize that it's not just her eyes that get red when she cries. Jeff acted so casual and suave I wanted to bop him one. But I didn't. I just let them pretend everything was alright. After dinner I asked Mom what had happened, what was going on. She wouldn't say, pretended like nothing had even happened, and left. I don't know why she just wouldn't tell me.
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Sunday, November 11, 2007

Thank you all for 700 visits!!!
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Leah pulled me out of my little depressed state, sorry for being in it, it just happens sometimes. Things are going okay. I need to go practice, I may have to solo wednesday night if I can't come up with a duet. Just thought I'd post.. for fun..
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