Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Once upon a time there was a large sharp object flying through the air
For the life of me.. I can't figure out how to spell sneeze. Sneeze.. sneaze.. umm.. achoo?

Some words just look too strange to be right.

Anyway.. my hairspray is making me *achoo* and I didn't know it until it was in my hair *achoo* so now I'm in the computer lab.. achooing my head off. It was a feeble attempt for calming my hair anyhow.

Some days, I think I should have never bothered getting out of bed.

I certainly had enough warning signs telling me not to get out of bed this morning.

Such as Leah telling me she wasn't coming to lessons today. I should have realized right then that driving to St. George all alone with Patsy just to sit all alone in a practice room for hours before and after my lessons was a big red flag saying "NO" but.. I wanted to see Vicki. So I wake up late this morning. An hour late. No time for shower. No time for anything but feeding my baby birds and grabbing my viola. I'm still in my pajamas even. I had NO time because Patsy had a class to be to. So I stumble out the door, my bangs sticking in every which direction.. and a zit on my chin the size of Canada. Looking in the mirror this morning should have convinced me to go back to bed.
But no.
I climb in the car for the hour long drive. The sun is in my eyes the whole time. My sunglasses are in my other purse. The one on my bed.
I had snatched an energy drink from the fridge, so once I got away to the freezing practice room I gobbled it all. That was nice. I then had 45 minutes before my lesson. So I spent the whole time practicing with my eyes half closed, waiting for the caffiene to kick in. Then.. at my lesson time.. vicki calls me. She can't make it. No lessons.
That aggrivates me. That's the only reason I came today.
I go to use the restroom.
I come back..
And the cyclops (a remarkably good piano player who happens to look like he has only one eye from profile view) has stolen MY practice room. My viola is inside. And I can't get it out now.

I gave up. I'm in the lab. I'd really like to be outside. Banging my head up against the brick wall.

Oh well.

And guess what?

I have to go see a new shrink because my old one flaked out on me. I've got a nice, three hour meeting coming up, at which I will have to explain all over again what happened two freaking years ago. Happens every time.
Therapists seem to love stories they deem as near-suicidal experiences.
GAAAHHHH I WAS NOT GONNA KILL MYSELF FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

*takes long breath*

well. This is a lovely, beautiful day. The sun is shining. The fountain is pretty and blue. The table is a pretty gray. I figure I've gotta be positive now. *glares*
Maybe things will look better in a bit. Maybe if I go back across campus to the music building the cyclops will be through. And the weird, creepy guy who was singing in the hall will be gone. I'm banking on that one.

Laters.
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