Monday, January 21, 2008

Wow.. today was really crumby. or is it crummy? I don't remember all of those little sayings fom "Arthur" the aardvark very well.
I'm getting better about not getting so depressed. Everyone was crazy and yelling and bawling today, but I just left them to it. I listened to music and read and made dinner and went on a walk (which I will tell you about momentaraly-sp? - because i see it as the climax in the story of my day.) and through it all I only let a couple sad thoughts bug me. So I'm getting better.

Okay, now for The Walk, as I will now call it. At three pm, I had a sudden urge to swing on swings. It overcame me. I grabbed my jacket and a bottle of water and set off on the 45 minute walk to the nearest swingset. It would not have been a bad walk, except I couldn't find any socks before I left and my feet were angry, and because I only had one hour before I had to start making dinner. I figured I would super-speed-walk to the park (I would have ran.. but.. dang this asthma. Asthma attack on the side of the road is NOT what I was aiming for) and then swing for twenty minutes and then dash home again. So, I take off. Nice cold day, rosy cheeks I'm sure, wrecks galore and then--- my park came into view. I braced myself for the thrill of SWINGS!!! But.. umm.. hey guys.. the playground changed colors. Hey.. erm, I'm really close now.. where's my swing set..? WHERE IS MY SWINGSET?!?!?! They. took. out. my. swings.
Oh whoa whoa.. you do not mess with bird when she has a craving for something. And I'll tell you, I had a major craving for the high I get off of swingin on a swing. And to make it worse, by the time I got over the shock of it being gone, I only had 15 minutes before I had to be back home. And I wasn't wearing socks.
Now, I plead my case. Mother, let me get my licence now so next time I can drive over to find out that the swingset is gone.

*sigh*

the only other thing I'm really sad about is kind of a good reason to be a little depressed I think. So, my mom needs surgery on her foot. really badly. But we need a 500$ payment before they can set up a date, and then $500 after the surgery and then payments from then on. but because of my japan trip payments that we had to make.. now mom can't have the surgery. And if she doesn't have it by march 1, she can't because that's when our health insurance is going to be cancelled. My dad used to pay it, and now he won't anymore. He was supposed to be paying for my japan trip too, but right after we had signed up he conveniently decided he needed to buy himself a tractor instead. So now, because of the japan trip I wanted to go on so bad and the payments we had to put on it, my mom can't have her foot surgery. But we can't get any of the money back on the japan payments even if I back out, so there's no point in letting it go to waste. I just feel bad about my mom. Maybe she wouldn't get so upset with us if she weren't in so much pain.

*sigh*

Sorry to unload all the troubles.. goodnight.
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