Monday, April 25, 2005

   Nostalgia hurts my brain...
Yeah, 'tis been a real nostalgic weekend, but let's start on Friday. I skipped out on school because my parents were being chaperones for Inlet Grove High's Grad Bash at Islands of Adventure, and I got to tag along. It was an interesting night, to say the least. When I went on Dueling Dragons, the combination of twilight and the almost full moon gave me a feeling of inner peace, or at least when I blanked out all the retards behind me shouting "suck my dick". Yay for facial hair, as everyone thought I was a senior. I also proved to myself that I can make it through mosh pits without touching people or even being detected. When we got back on the bus, I put "Gravity" on repeat and went out in five minutes.
Now for the weekend. I spent the first half of Saturday on Toonami Digital Arsenal (toonamiarsenal.com), downloading a bunch of classic openings and endings from the anime I grew up with. I swear, if it weren't for the fact that I've forgotten how to cry, a river of tears would've flowed down my cheeks when I watched the intro to Gundam W, the show that made me a fanboy. After that I worked on my Language Arts project, nothing too serious. Then Sunday came. My parents dropped me off at Kellie's place (30 minutes late, might I add), and I was shocked when I found out that Daniel was later than I was. :P I went bowling for the first time in five years, sucked miserably, and then gave the powers of suckage to Kellie as we traded scores from one game to the next. We rented Napoleon Dynamite, and it was just... random. And it was quite scary when I found similarities when it came to the characteristics of me and some of the characters. Freaky. Kellie had her head on my shoulder the entire time... When the three of us retreated to her room, we saw that All That was celebrating its 10th anniversary. It felt good to see Kel come out of nowhere dressed as Repairman. For the rest of the night, Kellie and I cuddled, I actually held her hand, and Daniel played the stereotypical "little brother" role, even though he's taller than Kellie... The moon was definitely a sight for sore eyes as we dropped Daniel off at his place. We proceeded to my house, getting there right at nine (phew). It was quite comical when we simultaneously kissed each other on the cheek. We shared our "I Love
You's" and I continued into the darkness of my house. That night I didn't have too much trouble getting to sleep, well, until I woke up at 3 AM. Why is it that when I wake up in the middle of the night, it's always 3 AM? Anywho, that explains why I'm not a school right now. I just couldn't get Kellie off my mind, the emotions that ran through me those two hours... Sleep wouldn't come, so I thought "to hell with it" and decided that I'd use today to make up some of the work that I didn't finish because of our little excursion. I just hope Dan and Kellie had as much fun yesterday as I did. Woot! Lance out.
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Friday, April 22, 2005

Been awhile...
Currently listening to: “Wolf’s Rain OST” by Yoko Kanno

‘Tis been awhile, no? Wow, what a week… Saturday, my dad’s FOP (Fraternal Order of Police) picnic came outta nowhere, so I quickly invited Gio & Kellie. I knew he would regret it when he said I could bring two friends. When we were there, I asked him if we could go off to the beach. We checked out the pier, where I had quite the calming experience. From there, I took the term “wherever the wind takes us” quite literally as we walked down the shore. The reckless and free-spirited me decided to come out, especially when Gio flipped a coin to see if we should’ve gone back. Even though it told us to, I kept on walking. Another hour passed, and we started heading back. That’s when we found out half of the city of Jupiter was looking for us. That’s the other thing I took literally that day – when my dad said the annual picnic doesn’t usually end ‘til sundown. Kellie & Gio keep on sayin’ they were scolded by father unit when we got back, but he was just lecturing. It’s been years since I’ve seen him scold… I could say a lot more about the day, but it all hasn’t already been expressed on their journals. Nonetheless, it was an unforgettable experience overall. The days afterward… I can’t really remember. Well, Wednesday’s Anime & Manga Club was interesting, to say the least. *sigh* I was going to kiss Kellie yesterday, but when we hugged, my mind was at too much of a calming blank to do anything. Today I picked up the Wolf’s Rain OST, as you can tell, and it is awesome. Yoko Kanno is just plain amazing. There’s no other way to explain ‘er. Yeah, after a week, you’d expect me to say more, but whatever. Oh, Kellie, I’m sorry I couldn’t go to school. The bus for the trip left earlier than planned. Peace to all of you guys that are reading this for no apparent reason, love to my family. Especially you, Kellie. Lance out.

EDIT: Damn am I a dumbass, forgetting such a thing... Kellie asked me to the prom! ^_^ See, I was planning to just go and watch over the whole thing like a ninja in a discreet corner, only because I am not trusting of such social gatherings, but it seems Kellie has other ideas. I'm probably gonna play the Squall role when it comes to dancing... -_-;
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Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Joy, Grief, & ... Something
*sigh* What are we gonna do about ya, Gio? *leans back in chair* Yeah, I should be happy, like a giant field of bunnies happy, but with Gio... we love you, man. Don't be such a bum about it. I don't know how many more time I can say this - you guys are my family. Kat's my big sis, Reid's my twin, Ricardo can't choose older or younger brother, and Gio... at times you're the seven-year-old that cheers me up when I'm down, and others you're the college student, sending me down comforting words of wisdom. Please, Gio, we'll never forget you as long as you're you.
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Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Lance Walker - Lightning Paladin, Wandering Lance, & Defier of Physics
Wha a couple of days. On Saturday, I went on my first quote unquote date with Kellie. Woot! And so after a pretty silent car ride to her house, I entered, and proceeded up the staircase. Two steps up, I had a freeze-frame moment in which I viewed a magnified version of the stairs under my feet. "Well, that's interesting... oh wait!" My feet had betrayed me, and as a result, I defied physics and fell up the stairs. My face collided with the ground, and my glasses left a mighty nasty trio of wounds by my left eye. Of course, my pain spectrum is flipped, resulting in a feelings a lot less painful than a paper cut ('cause paper cuts hurt like HELL). Both Kellie's mom and she asked me repeatedly if I was okay. I was fine, for a few minutes anyway. I looked down at my glasses, which were bent beyond all comparison. And half-way through an anime we were watching, I realized my bruises were worse than I originally contemplated. Kellie applied Neosporin to my injury, and her mother kindly took me to the eyeglass place to get my glasses bent back into shape. Since I only need the glasses for my near-sightedness, I've learned my lesson and from now on'll only where them when needed. Anyway, Kellie said I'm cuter with them off. We then walked to the movie together, bouncing off random topics like pachinko balls. Once more, she borrowed my flannel shirt during half-way through the movie (she really needs to bring a jacket next time :P). After that, we repeated the walking process in reverse and continued our ranting in her room until it was time for me to leave. Insert yet another long moment of silence in the car, and add a goodnight kiss from her at the end. The day had gone beautifully, and the expressions on my parents' faces were priceless when they saw my battlescars. Other than that, I haven't much to say, other than it's become a lot easier for me to express my feelings to her. And of course Gio's been a great buddy, there to cheer me up and get me going whenever I can't start the engines of my brain. Oh, I had a very emotional talk with my brother yesterday, learned a lot about him and how much we really are alike... got me pretty angsty, though, still torn between here and Nevada, but nonetheless, whatever happens, happens. Well, that's about it, I guess. Lance out.
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Wednesday, April 6, 2005

o.o

Somebody kick me... repeatedly. Please? Anyone?
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Tathe told me to do this...
1) Copy this list into your journal.
2) Bold what is true.
3) Leave plain what is false.
4) If you're not sure, or the answer is complicated, put it in italics.
5) Add something at the end.

001. I miss someone right now.
002. I watch more TV this year than last year.
003. I love olives.
004. I love sleeping.
005. I own a home.
006. I wear glasses or contact lenses.
007. I love to play video games.
008. I have done something illegal.
009. I have watched porn movies.
010. I have been in a threesome.
011. I have been the "psycho ex" in a past relationship.
012. I like my handwriting.
013. I have acne-free skin.
014. I curse frequently.
015. I have changed a lot over the past year.
016. I have a hobby.
017. I have been to another country.
018. I carry a weapon with me everywhere I go.
019. I have been told that I am very smart.
020. I have broken a bone.
021. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.
022. I love rain.
023. I can be paranoid at times.
024. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
025. I need money right now.
026. I have tried sushi.
027. I have been to Las Vegas.
028. I have at least one brother and/or sister.
029. I was born in a country other than the USA.
030. I shave my legs.
031. I have a twin.
032. I have Caller I.D. on my phone.
033. I am good at styling other people's hair.
034. I am usually pessimistic.
035. I have mood swings.
036. I think prostitution should be legalized.
037. I think Britney Spears is pretty.
038. I have cheated on a significant other.
039. I have a hidden talent.
040. I have been sexually intimate with more than ten people.
041. I am currently single.
042. I have kissed someone of the same sex.
043. I enjoy talking on the phone.
044. I love to shop.
045. I would classify myself as "ghetto".
046. I am obsessed with my LJ.
047. I don't hate anyone.
048. I am a good dancer.
049. I am embarrassed to be seen with my mother or father.
050. I have a cell phone.
051. I watch MTV on a daily basis.
052. I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
053. I have been in a real relationship.
054. I have rejected someone before.
055. I currently have a crush on someone.
056. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
057. I want to have children in the future.
058. I have changed a diaper.
059. I have had the cops called on me.
060. I bite my nails.
061. I am allergic to something deadly.
062. I have a lot to learn.
063. I have dated someone 10 years (or more) older or younger than me.
064. I am very shy around the opposite sex.
065. I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
066. I have been rejected by someone.
067. I have made a move on a friend's significant other in the past.
068. I have avoided work to play with my blog.
069. I, as a child, learned "the difference between boys and girls" with a neighbor or friend.
070. I enjoy country music.
071. I love my friends.
072. I think that Pizza Hut makes the best pizza.
073. I watch soap operas on a regular basis.
074. I am a perfectionist.
075. I love Michael Jackson - scandals and all.
076. I have watched the television show "Spongebob Squarepants"
077. I have dated a close friend's ex.
078. I am content as of this moment.
079. I have gone scuba diving.
080. I have had a crush on somebody I have never met.
081. I have kissed someone I knew I shouldn't.
082. I play a musical instrument.
083. I strongly dislike math.
084. I am procrastinating by filling out this list.
085. I own and use a library card.
086. I have been to Europe.
087. I have seen "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy.
088. I have seen the television show "The O.C."
089. I am resentful that I have to grow up.
090. I like eating Ramen noodles.
091. I think the world would be a better place if people just smiled more often.
092. I am currently suffering of a broken heart.
093. I consider myself to be a "nerd".
094. I am left handed.
095. I have had sex with someone I was not in a relationship with.
096. I enjoy smoothies.
097. I have had major surgery.
098. I have a pet.
099. I have been told that I have an unusual sense of humor.
100. I own 100 CDs or more.
101. I am currently in my pajamas.
102. I have a tendency to fall for the "wrong" girl/guy.
103. I will try anything once.
104. I have tried a drug that is illegal.
105. I am a cuddler.
106. I have one or more body parts that are asymmetrical.
107. I am a Republican.
108. I am Catholic.
109. I am a college student.
110. I like to cook.
111. I like to vacuum.
112. I collect picture frames.
113. I get along with my parents.
114. I like Shakespeare.
115. I like to sing.
116. I practice a religion that is not considered "mainstream".
117. I have counted down the days until the summer.
118. I have fulfilled someone's dare at a party or gathering.
119. I am, or was, pigeon-toed.
120. I have been to an anime convention.
121. I have a hard time paying attention at school.
122. I have a car.
123. I am an only child.
124. I work at a job that I enjoy.
125. I sleep a lot during the day.
126. I like the taste of blood.
127. I have swam in the ocean.
128. I know how to shoot a gun.
129. I like being the center of attention.
130. I am currently pregnant.
131. I have watched "Sex and the City".
132. I am married.
133. I want to get married.
134. I have all my grandparents; none of them have died.
135. I am a huge fan of lists.
136. I have had my hair cut within the last week.
137. I enjoy jazz music.
138. I am a "morning person".
139. I currently regret something that I have done.
140. I have written a story outside of school.
141. I think Erik is a sexpot.
142. I like the Boston red sox
143. I think Mark Bellhorn is Sexy
144. I love Rammstein. [not love, like]
145. cKy is the best band ever.
146. I admire Marilyn Manson as a photographic/cinematographic artist.
147. I love classical music.
148. I think pot should be legalized.
149. I must have ice in my water in order to drink it.
150. I have boxers with sunglasses-wearing ducks.
151. I can pick things up with my toes.
152. I think Frank Sinatra is fantastic.
153. It is a triumph in my life to be healthy for a month.
154. I am currently not wearing shoes
155. I am an uncle/aunt to more than one person.
156. I have unusually large/small feet
157. Have read one or more Star Wars books
158. I've gone skinny dipping by myself/with other people around at least once.
159. I have gotten in trouble for doing things with neo glow worm candies during truth or dare.
160. At this moment in time, I need to pee.
161. I don't get hangovers.
162. I like Naruto.
163. I sincerely wish I was a lesbian.
164. I am addicted to an MMORPG (Massive Multiple Online Role Playing Game)
165. I am fashion "savvy"
166. I carry a mechanical pencil or some other writing utensil everywhere I go.
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Tuesday, April 5, 2005

The E-Mail
This is what I sent to my parents. Let's hope this works!

-The following message is void of the usual sarcasm and quote unquote funniness of previous messages from the desk of Lance Robert Walker-

Dear Parents of Lance R. Walker,
Over countless months of turning tables and mind-breaking decision making, I have come to the conclusion that I just can’t accept migrating to this foreign location you call Nevada. The idea of starting from scratch in a worry-free world sounded interesting at first, but I have duties here. My morals obligate me to remain in this land, no matter how hellish it may seem. This tropical peninsula is my birthplace, the area of my creation. No, my problem is not my inability to step off this land perpetually, but my heart. At this point, it is too late to empty it, refilling every ounce that was once taken up by memories and dreams an impossibility for me. The people I’ve encountered over the three years passed have grown too close to me. The feelings that flow between all of my friends, the duck tape of my universe, are too strong for me to break. I owe each and every one of my companions everything I am. These people are unlike anyone I have met or can possibly meet. They are my honor, my perseverance, my love. Every emotion that runs through my body, my mind… every ideal, I owe to them. It is of my utmost duty to remain here, for I am their light, just as they are mine. Some still need much guidance, while I cannot remember a time when the others did not give me it in return. I certainly wouldn’t be the man I am today if it weren’t for the fact that I came here and met these people. It could be for my better or worse, but nonetheless, my only choice in life has been to follow my heart. I my sound like a selfish idiot, taking away yet another chance at peace from you, but as long as I am a paladin of lightning, I cannot leave the sides of those that mean something to me. I’d rather spend an eternity in Hell with those I love than give a lonely haven a chance. I am a mere wanderer. My only true home lies in their hearts. And if I leave now, the moment they need me the most, I cannot live with myself. Every day I am brave and cowardice, both sides of the same coin coming out whenever I make a decision. I fear losing my friends, but I’ll never hesitate to give everything away for their sake. I’m sorry that I waited so long to tell you people this, putting on an empty smile whenever you spoke of the subject, but the only way I can speak from my heart is with a keyboard and headphones glued to my head. The last thing I want is to take the chance of a better future out from under all of us just because of my ideals, but I cannot see myself anywhere but here for the next few years. At least give me that time. Lastly, how do I retain my connection to the brightening lightning and the awe-inspiring full moon in a place where it barely rains and the lights refuse to shut off? Once again, I am sorry, but a man must fulfill the requests of his heart if he has the power. Please don’t take me the wrong way, but even if this land can be compared to the flames of Hell, it is still my home.
-Your youngest son…
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Early Morning Post (of Doom)
Why am I posting now? For no reason as I can see... Today I'm going to type the one e-mail that will pretty much decide my fate on the entire Nevada issue. I guess I can do it in A+, seeing how I've nothing better to do. I would talk about the dreams I had Sunday night, but I guess I can leave those for another day. Heavy symbolism, but I only have vague ideas of what they meant. Oh yeah, Erin is now the Jope. Yes, the Jewish Pope. She acts more like Satan's mischievous step-daughter, though. Yeah... well, I have to go to school and wither in the teenage angst of those around me. Maybe I should listen to what people tell me - my problems first, others later. Hell, if you read this regularly, you would know just how much trouble I gotta deal with once I return to my cave and reflect on the day passed. Nonetheless, since when did I ever give a damn about comments like that?
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Monday, April 4, 2005

OMGWTFBBQ - Redux (yeah, I know, I really should stop using that...)
Currently listening to: "Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex OST" (The show may not live up to the movies, in my opinion, but the music kicks major ass. Thanks, Kat!)

At this rate, every post I make is going t start off with me asking "WTF is happening with my life?" and ranting on about Kellie. Instead, I start off by talking about feet. Yeah, I know, this passed weekend was a very important one, but nonetheless, I'm starting with this, and you can't stop me. Ever fallen asleep with one of your feet resting on a desk or something? Well, I did that while reading Hellsing volume 4. Blasphemy, you may say, but I did it on purpose - it had been a tiring Monday as usual. Of course, you can guess that I had no feeling in that foot when I awoke. So I place it on the ground and await the blood to return. I get that comforting tingling feeling in it, so I get back to reading. That's when my foot feels as though it's about to burst. Don't you love it when you instinctively rip both your shoe and sock off in one panicked swoop? Yeah, that was fun, but you probably don't care. Let's get down to that drama, if you wanna call it that. Why the hell does life have to be such a soup opera!?

Sunday morning - after arriving home from Gainesville at 1:11 AM (in reality, it was 2 in the morning, but I hadn't set my clocks forward yet), I check my e-mail. See that passed Friday, Kat, Kyle, Kellie, and I were discussing going to see Sin City with Reid on my birthday (Sunday). All was clear, except that I couldn't get a hold of Reid. See, he rarely checks his e-mail (like someone else I know, *coughMichaelcough*), and all though he has one of the coolest voicemail messages on the planet, his cell's always off. No contact. That meant no Reid, and in turn no movie. Reid's a big fan of the original graphic novel, and I was hoping to see it with a fan first-hand. Also, we needed a consenting adult. Didn't matter much to me, seeing how I saw the movie with my brother up in Gainesville (and if you wanna know, it was awesome beyond the point of nerdgasm). Of course, we all would still meet in City Place and wander aimlessly as usual. I, of course, was ten minutes late. It's sad, even when to comes to my own birthday, my motto is still "late or never". When I arrived, I was reprimanded for my lateness, blaming it on my posting on Kellie's livejournal. Kat gave me the Stand Alone Complex OST, Kellie gave me a hug (she had given me my gift on Friday. If you care, it was my favorite movie, MS Gundam: Char's Counterattack. I obviously tackle-hugged her), and Kyle just stood there. Yup, just like Kyle. Like stated earlier, we wandered aimlessly, hitting the Barnes & Noble, where Kyle told my to choose out the manga that I wanted and that would be my gift. I picked out the new hardcover version of Trigun Vol. 1, and while walkin' out, I managed to purchase "No Man's Land" for myself. I must say, it is the best Amerimanga I've read. It's by Seven Seas (gomanga.com), which is looking to be a great new independent publisher, and it's an awesome mix of Hellsing & Trigun, two of my all time favorite anime/manga (tying for that second place spot below the Universal Century Gundam shows & Cowboy Bebop). Also, the artist's favorite game is Metal Gear Solid 3, and as a Metal Gear fanboy, I can't resist that. From there, I got a frappachino [/sp] and we headed off to downtown. We showed Kyle the most well known bathroom in Florida (it was on the Travel Channel once, and that's good enough for me. It's probably the only reason people come to West Palm Beach, seeing how both the people and the beaches suck). Of course, Kyle rushed us back because he had lost track of time and needed to be back at 4:15. Of course, he didn't really get picked up 'til 4:45, or something like that. For the next two hours, Kat remained silent, wanting for Kellie and I to have a quote unquote moment. Yeah, like we would. There was even less of a chance with her silent with us, like some creepy... silent person... thing. In the first hour, we realized just how pathetic we are, seeing how we needed Kyle with us to start conversations. Thankfully, we eventually bounced off random topics and the such. The day passed, the sun set, we went over to my place, Kat left and got balled out by her mother, and Kellie became the first woman other than my mom to enter my room. Would've liked to had time to prepare, though, seeing as I never redecorate my room. I put stuff up eons ago from things I used to like, and I'm too lazy and/or ignorant to take it down. I just add stuff. For example - I have some Dan Marino posters up on the wall. Now, I haven't really been caught up in football ever since I became an individual. Also, Kellie pointed out a Pokemon poster on the back of my dresser that I completely forgot existed. That just shows me one more thing I have to do over the summer - buy a crap-load of random anime memorialbelia and reset my room to the tastes of 14 year old Lance Walker, not 10 year old "other kid in the crowd". BACK ON TOPIC - I showed Kellie "the Ladder", the hardest boss in MGS3. Then we proceeded to shoot the crap outta stuff in Time Crisis 3, bringing a new meaning to the term "overkill" with every shot from the grenade launcher. Kellie's mom showed and our parental units talked for about forty-five minutes. She gave me one last hug, and for a millisecond, I felt the true meaning of inner peace as her lips touched my cheek. Of course, that millisecond was followed by another in which every nerve of my body shouted out "WTF!?". Yup, that ended my fourteenth birthday, the one I have no doubt I'll never forget...
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Thursday, March 31, 2005

Whoa, WTF is goin' on?
O.O;
Wow, mood-swings galore this week. And I never have mood-swings. When I never, I mean never. I've blown my top on Kyle and a bunch of other helpless victims. It's... scary. And for some reason, the sentences in this post are really short. But when I'm not angsty or kicking Ben in the shin for buying the Special Edition DVD of "Dr. Strangelove or How I Learned Not to Worry & Love the Bomb" before ever watching it once and then hating it because he doesn't get the dry humor, I'm having the time of my life. Hell, yesterday I went off with Kellie, Gio, & Daniel to Kevin's Thai restaurant since Anime & Manga Club was cancelled. Yeah, we've got a club. I have no idea why I go there, seeing as most of the people are only half-wit wannabe fangirls that have no idea what the hell they're talking about. No offense, of course. But back to the story, Daniel was all angsty, and I realized Gio and I have even more in common than I thought. Especially when waiter-in-training Kevin spilled a tray of water and Sunkist all over him. Do you know how close I was to sitting in that seat!? And when of my favorite quotes came soon after, when Kev asked Daniel if he thought Gundam was boring. Gio, aware of my fandom, passed me a knife. Kellie said something along the lines of, "Don't you guys fight now...", and I replied with a sarcastic...

"It's not a fight unless there is an opposing conflict. I doubt there'll be one after the knife enters his eye."

So, fast-forwarding passed the leaving and the dropping off of Daniel & Gio, I found myself in the dubbed "Super Van", only a few minutes from my house. After a long moment of silence, since we say nothing when we're alone, I broke it by shouting out "Goddamn my inability to say stuff!" or something along those lines. I knew she knew what I was referring to, but it doesn't mean there was a conversation, so I continued and said the classic, "So, are you doing anything next weekend?" She asked her mom, she said no, and all was silent. o.o My house coming near, and realizing she still wasn't going to say anything, I scratched the back of my head and asked, "You wanna do something?" She responds with "That'll be nice. Sure." So, I guess I was successful. Yeah. Okay. So... yeah. I like pie.

Oh, the guy that we've been calling General Tao was actually the fifth ruler of Thailand. We still don't know his name, so we're stickin' with General Tao.

So, today nothing out of the ordinary happened. Well, I'm still spazzing over the fact that today's Thursday and the week faster than... must I say it? I greased monkey on a water slide. You happy now? HUH!? Okay. I'm done. *whistles* *realizes he can't whistle* Goddamnett.

Hey look, another thing I forgot to say: It seems I'm not goin' to Gainesville after all. Poor bro. Yeah. "DA POPE IS IN DA HOUSE!" Don't ask, inside joke...
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