Tuesday, April 5, 2005

The E-Mail
This is what I sent to my parents. Let's hope this works!

-The following message is void of the usual sarcasm and quote unquote funniness of previous messages from the desk of Lance Robert Walker-

Dear Parents of Lance R. Walker,
Over countless months of turning tables and mind-breaking decision making, I have come to the conclusion that I just can’t accept migrating to this foreign location you call Nevada. The idea of starting from scratch in a worry-free world sounded interesting at first, but I have duties here. My morals obligate me to remain in this land, no matter how hellish it may seem. This tropical peninsula is my birthplace, the area of my creation. No, my problem is not my inability to step off this land perpetually, but my heart. At this point, it is too late to empty it, refilling every ounce that was once taken up by memories and dreams an impossibility for me. The people I’ve encountered over the three years passed have grown too close to me. The feelings that flow between all of my friends, the duck tape of my universe, are too strong for me to break. I owe each and every one of my companions everything I am. These people are unlike anyone I have met or can possibly meet. They are my honor, my perseverance, my love. Every emotion that runs through my body, my mind… every ideal, I owe to them. It is of my utmost duty to remain here, for I am their light, just as they are mine. Some still need much guidance, while I cannot remember a time when the others did not give me it in return. I certainly wouldn’t be the man I am today if it weren’t for the fact that I came here and met these people. It could be for my better or worse, but nonetheless, my only choice in life has been to follow my heart. I my sound like a selfish idiot, taking away yet another chance at peace from you, but as long as I am a paladin of lightning, I cannot leave the sides of those that mean something to me. I’d rather spend an eternity in Hell with those I love than give a lonely haven a chance. I am a mere wanderer. My only true home lies in their hearts. And if I leave now, the moment they need me the most, I cannot live with myself. Every day I am brave and cowardice, both sides of the same coin coming out whenever I make a decision. I fear losing my friends, but I’ll never hesitate to give everything away for their sake. I’m sorry that I waited so long to tell you people this, putting on an empty smile whenever you spoke of the subject, but the only way I can speak from my heart is with a keyboard and headphones glued to my head. The last thing I want is to take the chance of a better future out from under all of us just because of my ideals, but I cannot see myself anywhere but here for the next few years. At least give me that time. Lastly, how do I retain my connection to the brightening lightning and the awe-inspiring full moon in a place where it barely rains and the lights refuse to shut off? Once again, I am sorry, but a man must fulfill the requests of his heart if he has the power. Please don’t take me the wrong way, but even if this land can be compared to the flames of Hell, it is still my home.
-Your youngest son…
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