Monday, November 28, 2005

   monday 11-28-05
ok well it's been another thanksgiving and here is what's been going on a year ago my comp was taken away soooo here i am doing shit in the library
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Tuesday, June 1, 2004

   June 1st 2004
You know i really don't know how i manage everyday. How everyday i seem to screw things up more instead of fixing them like i'm trying and have been trying to do. So guess what?!? I did it again once again i've fucked up my life and all of my friends lives. My so called friends have been talking shit about me and my one true and best friend behind our backs but we know about. My boyfriend who has done nothing bad to me i just did something horrible to that i thought that after what i have done before i would learn not to live by my own emotiotions but to do what will be good for everyone else.Then you might know him as Samaru here well he is my ex and he has screwed over my life with my boyfriend and i am mad at him even though he doesn't deserve it because it actaully is all my fault.So here i am just sitting here trying to think of a way i acn finally make things right again but i realize that i am never ever going to be able to ddo that since sumhow even when i think that everything will be back to normal and that everything will be fine again i find myself messing up everyones lives again. Some one please post back if u have any suggestions at what i should do because i never have found a way on my own to make things work out.
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Thursday, April 29, 2004

   April 29 2004
What do you do when you feel like nothing matters and no one cares for you? You find something to make each shitty day a little bit better. So day after day you go through the same routine doing that thing that makes life I smidge better than death. But most of the time the thing that makes you feel better is death. But most are too weak to actually go that far so they just cut them selves to no that each time they go I little deeper that they are one step closer to death and that’s gives them comfort.Thatwas the case with me.
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