Sunday, May 14, 2006

I'm Alive! Promise!
It has been so long since I've posted on this thing! I haven't even been online since I last posted. It's storming all the time out here and my computer doesn't like lightning that well... Anyhow... Last couple of weeks have severely sucked. I'm not dating anyone right now, relationships don't work out for me anyway. My friends have kind of... idk, they just don't seem to exist anymore. Abandoned, Replaced, on and on the cycle goes. They love you, they hate you, they love and hate you all over again, until they eventually discard you for someone ten thousand times better. My little world seems so hazy and unreal. Maybe I'm dreaming and just don't know it yet. I guess I'll figure it all out in the end. I found out Kat and I are indeed going to see HIM on Thursday and I am bouncing off the walls about it. Since niether of us drive our mothers are going...that could be okay I guess. My mom and I will be the only blondes there according to what she thinks. I think she'll be surprised. It's at an outdoor pavillion... I hope we can at least see the sexy motherfucker. If not, oh well at least I can say my first concert was HIM. Works for me. I'm trying to expand my dvd collection. And manga. In the last three days I've purchased two of my favorite movies. Girl, Interrupted and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I love them both, but I like Girl, Interrupted better. Yay Angelina Jolie! Anywho, I'm now exceedingly bored and feelin' kinda lonely. I can't blame anyone but myself though. I'm the one who willingly isolates herself from the rest of the world. So that's my problem, not theirs. Anyhow, I'll talk to you bitches later. Luv yas.
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Wednesday, April 26, 2006

   eh

-sigh- Out with the old bf, in with the new. Andy is mine, Dereck is not, and I can't say I care too much either way. Back on the downstairs compy. If I didn't have to do history hw I wouldn't even be on here. Mr. Cabot told us to get five pics of culturaly diverse pop culture and bring 'em in on a collage. I got a Kaori Yuki pic, one of Miyamoto surrounded by his creations ((Nintendo charries)) Sun and Jin from LOST, System of a Down, Ville Valo and Jon Davis in a Kilt. Sure Jonathan was born in Bakersville, CA, but he embraces his scottish heritage so I'm putting it on there too. Sure that's more than five, but after that horrendous group project I've decided I need all the help I can get.
Kitty thinks its a good idea being with Andy. Thinks it'll help me out or something. I can see where self esteem may rise a few levels. Oh well. If not, screw it. Put it this way, I don't think my heart can break much more, when it's already this broken to begin with.
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Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Drunken Munky
Ever get the feeling everyone is bitching at you? I swear around here it's like no matter where I go someone is bitchin' at me and I wanna fucking smack them. I'm at hoem and they're bitching that i don't talk or show emotion well. But it's like when someone is always telling you as a child "don't cry over it" when you see a dead deer on the road or you're watching a sad movie, and so you stop showing emotion like that, you get older and they're all, "what happened to you? You're so cold and emotionless". WTF DO YOU EXPECT!?!?!? Hopeless.
Parents say they want me to dress more like a girl instead of in my usual black band shirts and jeans. They want to take me up to them all in Canton on Friday and dress me in blue and pink summer shirts. Fuck that.
About to break up with my current bf. There's nothing there. I'm very quiet, and he is virtually silent. Niether of us talk that much to the other. Pointless. Completely and utterly pointless. I have another inquiry from Andy though. At least if he fucks around with me I feel more than pissed off. So i guess I'll try it with him. if it works out, great, if not, fuck it. I'm done worrying about things like this. Anyhow, sry I haven't updated in a while, my compy in my room crashed nad now its soooo touchy and my mom's is so damn slow... Anyhow, I'ma gonna try and make a website dedicated to KoRn's Munky. I'll put the url up when I get it to the point that it doesn't make me sick. Talk to you bitches later.
I luv Jon Davis!

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Saturday, April 15, 2006

   Question Mark Girl
Someone slap a big 'ol question mark over my head where it can float forever. I will be deemed Question Mark Girl. So damn confused over everything. -sigh- Went to a horse auction yesterday and met Kat there. Since it was Good Friday though the sale is actually today but my mom wants us to go to Tappen Lake instead, whatever the hell that is. But now we don't even know if we're doing that. -sigh-. So damn confuzzled. I might make a myspace. Shelby suggested it so I think I shall. Anyone who has a problem with it can go fuck themselves.
Kat invited me to go with her to a HIM concert. I have one thing to say about this:


HHHHHIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!

I must go to said concert or tie myself up and plant my excited ass in the back of their van and go up with them anyway. I WILL NOT MISS THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Listening to KoRn now. I lova da KoRn. Ooooh, me so KORNY! And I've kinda lost my mind early today. I usually lose it later in the day nad it comes back before 4. I've lost it earlier today and it will probably stay away for a while.
oh I luv KoRn! Subliminal Messages! YAY!
I wish I knew who I was. I really do. So lost in this fucked up world of mine... I wish I could go away for a while and come back as myself. -insert sigh here-
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Thursday, April 13, 2006

-screw it all-
I want to scream. Said person who made me feel like shit the other day made me want to just scream at them yesterday! After acting all, I still love you and I am so sorry, Tuesday just acted like nothing at all happened the next day and barely said two words to me, let alone write me back. I wanna smack 'em. Kitty agrees wit me. And then I had the pleasure of meeting Kat's two bestest friends. So now I know next year when they come over to the high school I'm SCREWED. I'm so replaced. I can feel it. I will hate school next year too. -sigh-. At least I have Shelby though! YAY SHELBY! She is so fuckin' awesome.
Found a bunch of sexy gay pirate icons. Man I love gay guys! So damn sexy... I wanna join in the fun! See you bitches l8r. SOMEONE FUCKIN TALK TO ME OR SOMETHIN!

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