Thursday, February 2, 2006

wow
Someone just sent me these two lyrics, they relate closely to what im going through, and for some reason they make it easier for me to think about it.
Lay down
Your sweet and weary head
Night is falling
You have come to journey's end
Sleep now
And dream of the ones who came before
They are calling
From across a distant shore
Why do you weep?
What are these tears upon your face?
Soon you will see
All of your fears will pass away

Safe in my arms
You're only sleeping

What can you see
On the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea
A pale moon rises
The ships have come to carry you home
And all will turn
To silver-glass
A light on the water
All souls pass

Hope fades
Until the world of night
Through shadows' falling
Out of memory and time
Don't say
We have come now to the end
White shores are calling
You and I will meet again

And you'll be here in my arms
Just sleeping

What can you see
On the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea
A pale moon rises
The ships have come to carry you home
And all will turn
To silver-glass
A light on the water
Grey ships pass
Into the West
into the west by annie lenox
then theres may it be by enya
May it be an evening star
Shines down upon you
May it be when darkness falls
Your heart will be true
You walk a lonely road
Oh! How far you are from home

Mornie utúlie (darknesss has come)
Believe and you will find your way
Mornie alantie (darknesss has fallen)
A promise lives within you now

May it be the shadows call
Will fly away
May it be your journey on
To light the day
When the night is overcome
You may rise to find the sun

Mornie utúlie (darknesss has come)
Believe and you will find your way
Mornie alantie (darknesss has fallen)
A promise lives within you now

A promise lives within you now
Wow, I really need to think even more on these, im getting ideas left and right its a good thing, i think. Well, i think I'm gonna do a tarot card reading sometime tonight. Tarot cards are not only spiritual, if you interpret them right, you are more in touch with the possibilities. Seeing as now, i have a *red rimmed eyes* spirit to...invoke, as in to guide the cards, I will get a more helpful reading. That is, if she wants to help. I think she will, when she was here, she always tried to help. Now she can help even more *already thanking her*. I know, strange person here but ne, its me.
-Seijin

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   I take it back......
Good day my ass, my stepdad (truck driver) just called my mom to tell her he is physically attracted to someone else, and thinks he might want a divorce. My god everything just going WRONG *slams head into wall. WRONG WRONG WRONG!
Why in the hell does this keep happening? What's going to happen next? PLease be the end, just the end. I'm not going to take my life, but I will certainly hope like hell that someone else will. Maybe then we will be together, without having to worry about the temporary and fragile state that is that of the corporeal life. Then..could we be free? I just don't know, I honestly don't.Oh dear GOD,I Just went to see how mom was doing,& before I got to the room I heard her say "So, in those three times you have ever seen her, she made you feel just so special that you want to leave me" I can't believe hes only seen that slut three times. Why does all this have to happen at once? why Why WHY?!?!
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   GOOD DAY!
Ok, well, Maya said no more worrying about her because it makes her not want to live anymore to make us worry, so im being happy. Tessa's words told me and Jamie to be happy. I slept good last night, and I feel great today. I sight read 3 pieces of music for a pep rally, because i switched to tenor, and i DID IT PERFECTLY! I played it better than some ninth graders, who have been playing it for a year at least! ^_________________________^ But amidst my happines, i find plenty of time to be oh so modest XD! Ok now im mellowing out, but im still happy, and I plan on staying that way, objections?
XD!
Seijin
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Wednesday, February 1, 2006

   CHanneler?
Ok people for those who don't know, Seijin is a wicca. I think I just, channeled Tess, or, got in contact with her in some way. I just.well its strange. She told me to tell Jamie that she loves him, but she had to go. She said we both need to be happy, and to remember her happily, just how i told her to do with her friend Brandon. I feel so happy, it, tears of joy here. I have decided I'm going to church with Touketsu, and I'm going to pray. I havent been inside a church and prayed since I was 5. I think that there will be a semi-alone place where i can pray, I don't believe in breaking down in public.
Well, seijin is alive now

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gone
MY friend Tess just died... her bf was on his laptop in the comp, and he hit the call button because Tess flatlined. THe docs had him leave, and came back out telling him.
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   2 weeks notice
There it is, Maya just got it. The doctors say shes got about that much time left. I just don't know if i can do this anymore, thats what she said. She woke up crying and told my sister that. I just don't know what to do. I just..I love her so much. I feel like im being punished, like shes being punished. We both finally find love, finally find true happiness, then..well..it..*sinks to the floor* I don't know anymore...maybe its not meant to...no we are meant to be..well..I hope..no..I KNOW it..we are..are we? I dont know anymore. Well I know you don't care about me moping, so I'll shut up now..
-Seijin
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Tuesday, January 31, 2006

   Utterly content
Well, my headache is finally gone, and I've resolved my confusion. Well you all know from my earlier posts I was having some *coughs* erm.. confusion. Well, I figured it out. I'd rather not discuss the outcome on myO, no offense ya'al. Tomorrow is revenge on the school, bwahahahahah! Phear Mom and her secret weapons XD! The school is so in for it...my Gran is capable of a verbal lashing equivalent to Inu AND Liana combined, which is quite a feat (yes thats a compliment guys) so they are in for it. Im near as good as my mom, who is skilled in the verbal beating ^^, so the school is about to be verbally raped XD. Today in suspension I wrote 3 pages of pure thought, I'll have to post em. Well, all for now.
-Seijin Ibara
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Monday, January 30, 2006

   Owwww.....
Headaches are evil, they attack at random times with no reason and piss me off to no end. I just don't know what to do anymore. ISS isn't really much of a punishment. I mean honestly, sitting alone in a room with all your work for the day makes it alot easier to get things done. Especially if the "teacher" knows you as respectful and innocent (teacher knows nothing! j/k Mrs. Garcia is cool). She was "plain ol' flabbergasted that a good little boy like me could get in so much trouble" XD. Well, after the entire situation was explained, we both admitted that it was partially my fault BUT the princioal blew it DRASTICALLY out of proportion. Well, revenge comes Wednesday sadly, so patience chibi seijin, revenge comes in due time...
Bluntly put,
Seijin Ibara
(oh btw thats Sage thorn in japanese ^^)
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Sunday, January 29, 2006

   Content
Well, today is semi-ok. Mom hasnt woke up yet, so i have a bit of time to relax mildly. Last night i tried to draw and wound up with this:



Tis ok I guess, first try on anything like this and all. I dunno what I'll do today, prolly just lie around like weekends are meant for. I might go into one fo those "post ur pic" threads on gaia to make those poor "pic whores" (those addicted to posting and looking at pics) miserable as their eyes burn in utter agony of my visage. Well, thats all I plan on posting for now, I dunno.

-Seijin-Kun

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Saturday, January 28, 2006

   Seijin-Kun is so Happeh!
Ok I have decided to ask my mom to let me save up for Japanese lessons! Everyone is doing good. Last night I fell asleep quickly, not saying why, but no it doesnt involve narcotics. I had just got off the phone with Maya, and theres something about her that calms me down. Extremely. Its a bit romantic (ok alot) when the sound of someone breathing can make you want to never move. After we were done talking mostly, we just sat there relaxing and enjoying each other's company. WHAT? There's absolutely nothing wrong with falling in love, so in yo faces! Oh, no mood swings OR cramps today! Bwahahaha!!!
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