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Wednesday, March 22, 2006


   Sage's Remedy Rhapsody
That was the name of Maya's horse. Theres a chance that I might actually own him in a few months. Kay is having problems keeping him, with her horses, thats a fair bit of money. So far the offer is 3,000, which with his breeding and all the work gone into his training, is a great deal. I'm really considering asking mom about once she gets back to work if i can earn enough to pay for some, if she can cover what i cant get. Oh, now she says shes got the costs covered, but *sighs thats a piece of her thats left, and I just want to know that i have a part of her with me, other than the knowledge she left in my mind, and the virtues she left in my heart. I just don't know. Kay says shes nervous about selling him, because last time she sold him she flipped out with guilt and overspent to get him back. I just dont know. I'm just going to tell her to keep him, she knows way more about horses than i do, and I'll see him when I get up there in WV. Just forget the topic, thats all I plan on doing. Whoa, yet another poem. See, everyone I've tried to love ltely has just wanted to use me as someone to lean on, when actually i need someone to lean on myself, and when i try to lean back they break and i have to pull them back up, and that hurts even worse...
spinning round and round,
entering life with no ground,
nowhere to go but higher,
but i find naught but fire
so i just keep burning,
stomach churning
cant find my life,
nothing left but strife,
now im frozen,
I wasnt chosen,
now im alone,
noones shown
they just shove me
and never love me

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