Sunday, March 18, 2007

Crying...
Mood: Depressed

Hello.

I'm not going to school today. My mom said so...yesterday I was laughing my head off at school and when I got home I started watching anime...but, the happy moments were washed away after I found out that my grandfather was sent to the hospital...

At first I don't how I should react to it. Well, I'm NOT very fond of my grandfather...but, somehow I still felt rather sad about the thought of him being sent to the hospital.

I wouldn't believe it! My grandfather's pretty strong. He eats the right kinds of food, he does exercise every single day, he jogs outside everynight. But, somehow...I think I know what's been bothering him though.

My three uncles back in the Philippines. Always asking for money...lazy dumbasses. I'm lazy too, but at least I'd find a way to get a job. Now what are they going to do? Sit back in the Philippines and wait for money?

But...just a little while ago...bad news came after bad news.

My grandfather had just died.

Back in the hospital last night (it's actually midnight now...) I didn't shed a single tear. I don't know...maybe because all my 17 years in this world...I was only able to spend 7 years or so with my grandfather...or maybe its because of the times when he'd be visiting and he'd constantly piss me off. (I hate being lectured TOO MANY times...I'm sure you know how it feels.)

But...after my parents left me and my brother to go back to the hospital because of my grandpa's death...I cried.
For some unknown reason...I cried. It's strange...really strange.

To think...it'll come by for the last second. Heh.

Maybe...I'm regretting. That I wasn't able to say anything to him before he died...
Because, when my grandmother died two years ago...I CRIED soo much, I'd think of her all the time...and before she died...I was glad I was able to say that I LOVE her so much, that it hurts to know that someday she'd leave. But, now...she's gone...I miss her so much.

Ahaha! I'm crying! Damn! I'm so emotional...sorry if this post is...depressing...I am...after all, depressed myself.
I just want to let out some stress...and probably, I'd just watch anime later when I wake up...to let out some stress as well.
Hehe, how very retarded that I added something about anime after talking about something so serious and depressing. Well, the mood is getting heavy...I had to do something about it, right?

So like...here I am. I don't know...it feels as though nothing has change. I love my grandfather...but I don't think I love him as much as I love my grandmother (his wife)...they're prolly up on heaven or something.

Ah crap! Thinking about people who just died makes me miss my grandma more even though two years have already passed...and this coming May would be her death anniversary.
I love my grandma so much. She had been the one to take care of me from since I was a baby until I was 14. And now I'm 17...I'm still wishing that I could see her...ahehe...sadly, it's impossible...OBVIOUSLY.

Heh, ok, I should probably stop...I can't breathe anymore. My nose is blocked now...instead of thinking of my grandpa, I'm thinking of my grandma, what's wrong with me? Harsh...I know. But, that's just how I am. But, I just want my grandfather to know that...even so, I care for him too, and I love him too, and...I'm sorry for being stubborn. I can only say to him is... "Goodnight, FOREVER."


Heh, anyways...I don't have any mini trivia nor pics yet. I can't really put any...I swear on the next post there will be...it's just that...this POST is too serious, so yea. Anyways, do you guys like my new BG? I love it. It's my Orochimaru...

Ok, ok. I'll shut up now. Bye bye and take care. Ja~
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