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myOtaku.com
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Vitals
Birthday
• 1990-07-19
Gender
•
Female
Location
• GR for school. My home is barely a blip on the map.
Member Since
• 2004-02-29
Occupation
• art student
Real Name
• i've decided that my new online alias shall be Nyx, (aka nyx-xnight)
Personal
Achievements
• $12,000 scholarship for Kendall College of A&D based off of my portfolio. I hadn't even applied yet!
Anime Fan Since
• elementary school
Favorite Anime
• doesn't fit here, see intro.
Goals
• learn to paint well. because i suck.
Hobbies
• drawing, dancing, hanging out with friends, video games, sleep, living, etc.
Talents
• um.... drawing? oh, and forgetting things! im really good at that too!! ^__^
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Wednesday, March 16, 2005
......no hw....! heh.....aw, it just doesnt work anymore...
it doesnt work anymore, now that theres nothing distracting me from my thoughts! please! i NEED distractions!!! happy, naive, blissful distractions!!!
ok, so i really dont hav any hw today, but it just doesnt raise my spirits like it used to. well, actually, it sorta did, but it only lasted a short while. even this morning's bright sunlight illuminating my east-facing room didnt make me happy and looking forward to the day ahead, like it ALWAYS does.
i think i know why its like this today. why im not as happy as i should be or even would be had it been under normal circumstances.
here's my theory:
this week has been full of distractions from the troubles of last week. on Sat, i went to see Robots, after which, i went over to Jackie's where Tyler, Erilee, and Alex were already there. we made the most random and hilarious movie ever! than, Mon kicked off real well wen i got up an hour early, leaving two hours of free time before the bus came. Tues, i had dance class that was a lot of fun. then today....
well, Jazz woke me up at 6:30am to feed her breakfast. i certainly wasnt about to get up, so i closed my door and slept the best i could for another half hour before finally getting up. i just went back to sleep for another 45 minutes before getting up again for good. it was then that i realized something about my weird and completely random dreams that i had. last night... i dreamt that Jordan came back... it made me so sad wen i thought about it! part of me was in shock, even I didnt know that it was bothering me so much still! another part just wanted to huddle in a corner and think, or cry, or....something... it was all just so difficult... every new day starts with denial. i never remember that he's not going to be around for a while until it just randomly pops up...
its really painful... i guess thats also one of the reasons i havnt drawn hardly anything for...weeks... before it was that i didnt hav time, but now... and also a reason (maybe... maybe not) why ive been really into writing recently. ive written a short little random thing when Nessa demanded imagination from me, and i also wrote a poem. the story is random and kinda dark, and the poem is a bit angsty...
lots of angsty Evanescence and depressing/angsty Linkin Park (mainly "My December", "Numb", "Somewhere I Belong", and "Easier To Run") ive tried listening to some Green Day, but it just doesnt feel right... im leaving for Florida next Thurs for spring break, maybe ill be able to hav some actual fun there.
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