Thursday, July 31, 2008

I promise not to get depressed tonight!

Listening to: Sakura Sake -- Arashi #404 on playlist (Last song) Listen to this! Its catchy in a cute boy band way Time -- 3:33 AM I had my long awaited doctor's appointment today. I was happy b/c I had the hope that I could hopefully get some professional help to solve my anxiety problem before school starts next week, exactly 7 days from now. But you know what happened. I went in hoping for anxiety pills and came out with birth control pills! What the mess?! I probably only got 1 step closer to solving my problem from advice. It worries me b/c now I'm scared that I'm going to start sneaking my dad's anxiety pills. I don't want that, but if may come down to down that. Maybe if I get the courage and time I'll type up my actual problem and show it to certain people. Otherwise... I've been getting into some brand new anime. 'Natsume YuujinChou' and 'Shigofumi'. There's another one but I forgot what it was. If you like 'Mushishi' you'll love Natsume, and if you like 'Hell Girl' you'll love Shigofumi! I highly recommend these animes. And new music at the bottom of the playlist, always check the very bottom for new additions. I don't organize them into the playlist until 2 weeks or so. I swear there was another matter I wanted to talk about but I can't put my finger on it. I meant to change my theme, but maybe later. OH! It's a miracle, it's Thrusday and I still have my 360, but I know the day is approaching where we have to loan it out again. I'm enjoying it while I still can. So I'm off.

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Saturday, July 26, 2008

Been So Long

Listening to: No Rain No Rainbow -- Home Made Kazoku Naruto Shippuuden Movie 2: Kizuna, theme song #396 on playlist Time -- 4:44 AM Sorry I haven't updated. It seems I've lost the energy to comment and post. Can't imagine how I'll be when school starts, which is still the 7th, 5 days a week. *sighs* Which reminds me I need to hurry up and get a doctor's appointment. *sighs* I got my paycheck today. It seems I'm more of depressed on my paydays than happy. Theres too many to keep up with. A good thing though, was that I got 120 dollars Tuesday b/c it turned out I payed back $125 loaned one too many times, so she gave me that back, but I kept it from my dad and hide it in my drawer. I swear I didn't, so I kept it just in case she came back and said that I would need to pay it back. Bad news is that I the accountant messed up and overpayed everyone who worked the 4th of July holiday. I had to pay back 60 bucks. In the end that gave 188 dollars plus the 100 that I had kept, so $288. Sadly, I spent it all in one go. It took $187 to get the xbox 360 back, $60 to get my dad's toolbox that he loaned off back, and $20 for gas in the truck if I wanted to keep driving it. It left me 10 bucks which my dad took to get beer for himself and his friends. *sighs* My dad's check comes in tomorrow which will be used to pay off all the bills, or some. On the bright, yet dim side, my dad has a second interview with a high paying job Monday. Even if he does get the job, he won't be paid until 2 weeks, which means my 360 is going to get loaned off for the... I lost friggin count, on Monday or Tuesday. When he does get paid, school would have started, which means I'm going to go into super super depressed mode b/c I seriously depise school for a certain stupid ass reason of mine. *sighs* I don't know what to do with myself... I've got 6 more hours thrown into my week. So on Tuesday, Thrusday, Saturday, and Sunday, I work 4-9 like normal. Now, I work from 6-9 on Monday and Fridays. That leaves me with Wednesday totally free, even though I'll spend the majority of that cleaning the house. *sighs* I really need to do something about myself; I'm a horrible wreck when it comes down to it.

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Sunday, July 20, 2008

I'm Back... If Anyone Noticed I was Gone

Listening to: Mononoke Dance -- Denki Groove Time -- 2:33 AM Yes, I was gone for a couple of days. Around 4 in the afternoon on Friday our internet and phone was shut off. AT&T said that the whole area had been shut down. It's always the area -_- It's either At&T power failures or Entergy blackouts. But the guy showed up today to look at our lines and he said that someone had cut the line further down the street. It's fixed now, but I have to go to work for the time being. I'll be on around 10 central time. Is anyone still on their cboxes? I feel like something has changed around here I don't know what it is. And I wuv you people for the comments. All appreciated ^^ I wish I could return the favor but between work, cooking, and cleaning, I'm exhausted to type comments. So I'm off. I gotta get the chicken in the oven before I leave for a looong night at work. There's gonna be so many pizza orders tonight T.T And I uploaded one of my drawing into my drafts folder. I didn't want it up for publication and I don't want it in my drafts folder either. I'm not sure if it's my computer or my drawing, but the pic wouldn't load on my comp, does it for you?

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Friday, July 18, 2008

The Pain of Boredom (This May Be A Long One)

Listening to: Mononoke Dance -- Denki Groove Time -- 2:33 AM I still have not changed the blog pic! I may just take it out plain and simple with no pic, but it may mess up my box. Anyways, work was good. I had this huge burst of energy when I went in and by 7 I had crashed. Luckily there was only one order during the last 2 hours. Also I have some interesting things I been discovering, investigating, and planning. Discovery: Yesterday I discovered the awesome world of Japanese dramas on crunchyroll when I went to go look for early subbed versions of anime. Nothing serious, just 'Hana Kimi' and 'Absolute Boyfriend' both based off popular mangas. Investigation: I visited TheO's chat but I had no luck with with it. Sadly I'm not a person who can go into a chat room by myself and start or join a conversation. Usually the only way I make new friends on chats is by talking to people I know well on there and hopefully some new people join our convo and I talk to them. That's just how I roll. Planning: Setting up another myspace account. I deleted my old one after I got depressed, but then the next day I met a bunch of otakus on here who have myspace. Also, I plan on submitting some old art I drew a few years back, more like 4 years ago. It's not anime though. Annnd on some exciting yet not exciting news, the school board is talking about either giving us an extra month of summer vacation or 4 days a week because of the rising gas prices. My dad crushed our excitement by making a point that the hours that are suppose to be schoolhours will be added to our regular schooldays, so each day will have about 2 extra hours then normal. (That'll be 10 hours of school!) Four things I curse at the moment: Imeem for changing the style of my playlist to a hideous looking, more time to load, disorganized style; there goes all my hard work organizing that playlist. Youtube for deleteing my site video the day I put it up. Men, for having the luxury of not going through the pain us women do each month. And last, my horrible laziness of not commenting. I say my goodbyes and hope you have a good day. I shall go wither in once a month pain now. **Edit** Site video has been replaced by a working one. Check it out if you want to. Don't mind this box, I'm experimenting, so it may be funky looking. The cursed scrollbar keeps shifting. **Last Update** My sense of symmetry is being thrown off with the box. I was trying to get the text to really center in the box and have the same amount of pixel spacing all around. The text is clinging to the right side of the box and now the scroll bar won't shift anymore. Grrrr. I'll mess with again tomorrow night.

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Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Listening to: Soul's Crossing -- T.M. Revolution #333 on playlist ** An awesome song that was released with his Soul Eater opening 'Resonance'** Time: 1:54 AM Ooookay, so sorry I have't updated in about...5 days. Laziness hits hard. So to some it up, I got my payceck Friday but I wasn't able to get the 360 back. On the way to the store, I got upset because he wanted to spend my 113 dollars super quickly, but I felt bad because I couldn't do anything more to help. He misunderstood me and yelled at me and got pissed. He put it behind him though. ....Nothing has happened since then...wow. I have a boring life. Oh, we now have only 2 dogs. We gave the St. Bernard back to its previous owner. Hmm, my dad woke me up tis morning asking if I we would like to move out of Mississippi. I said yes, and our options right now are Baton Rouge, Lafayette, and our old town. I like Lafayette the best. My half brother lives there and the Mecha-Con is held there :3 I really don't want to b/c I'm in the last year of high school. Oh well, guess we'll see where time takes me. Oh, don't mind the blog pic for the moment, I have to get on the other comp and mess with the desired picture.

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Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Listening to: Floatin -- Chemistry #61 on playlist Time: 1:25 PM This is the third morning where I wake up at 9 o'clock hearing loud chainsaws coming from next door. I don't like my sleep being interrupted. So I moved to the sofa, it's more peaceful. Hm, nothing eventful has happened, but two days until my paycheck. I hope its good *crosses fingers* I'll probably have around 150 after I pay the last of the $125 off. Oh, minus the crap I put on my tab, but thats like 8 dollars. Okay, I got nothing to talk about. There is new music located at the bottom of the playlist, if your interested. Ouch, headache. Blasting my ears out with music isn't helping either. -_-

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Sunday, July 6, 2008

Listening to: Loop & Loop -- Asian Kung-Fu Generation #29 on playlist ** One of my fav AKFG songs ^^ Time: 1:30 PM Blah. I only got 6 hours of sleep b/c I stayed up til 6 in the morning with Shred and Suichiro watching animes -_- At least I have tomorrow off. Well, fourth of July I worked, but it turned out really slow for pizzas. Thats because everyone went out to the lake and grilled. I worked 8 hours that day, so I made about 63 dollars that day ^^ But then I got sad because I was looking forward to buying some awesome bottle rockets, but turned out they banned fireworks in the county. Anyways, my dad still hasn't sold the trailer TT I was really surprised because 500 dollars is pretty cheap for a trailer bed and we live in the country, so alot of these people must have trailers for their trucks. What surprised me more was that my dad went around cutting lawns for extra money. I have no idea what he used the money for though. And the most shocking thing happened in my house Friday night. My World of Warcraft addict brother who doesn't have a job or do anythng in the house, was washing dishes and cooking dinner when I got home. Shocking, I know! I told him I would help but he said "Oh no, I can do it. Anyway, I have to get into a habit of helping around and doing dishes" O.O I thought he was dying or something.....hmmmm. Holy crap Somegirl. An awesome idea just struck me on how to get extra money. I can ask my boss if I could house keep her house. She's always complaining about how she has to go home and clean. I'll have to bring it up with my dad, although I know I'm going to get the rant of a lifetime. He's gonna complain about how I need to clean my house before i can go clean someone else's house -_- But its a great idea, bwahaha. Blah, I've got work in 2 hours. Sundays are a bitch to handle with pizza orders. It'll be hard since that damn new pizza girl keeps using my extra pizzas I've prepared just b/c she's too lazy to make her own. You're suppose to use them when you get backed up with like 10 orders, not because you're too lazy to make one pizza order. That pissed me off yesterday. Now I work Saturdays, Sundays, Tuesdays, and Thrusdays. My Wednesday was traded for the Tuesday and Thrusday b/c the other pizza girl has batting practice on those days. So I'm off. **Update** Okay, my dad freakin deleted my Adobe Flash Player 9, so now I can't watch videos on youtube or listen to songs on imeem. I can listen/watch indirectly, like on other sites, but I can't watch them on the actual site like youtube or imeem. But I've installed the player twice so far, so do I have to go in my files and pull it up, or is it my JavaScript? My dad doesn't want to help me get it back, stupid moron doesn't know that myspace kills this computer, not adobe.

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Thursday, July 3, 2008

Listening to: Katahiza no Yogore -- Last Alliance (Real Drive Opening) #168 on playlist Time: 12:30 AM Today was pretty damn boring, but I'm going to be working everyday til Monday. I had no idea I was working tomorrow til the other pizza girl came in and told me about our messed up schedule. I told the boss that I wanted to work Fourth of July (Friday), but turns out the other pizza girl does too, which shocked me b/c she's a party girl yet she wants to work. Right now it seems we're both working Friday as pizza girls, which will be helpful. Anyway, my dad is trying to sell his trailer bed for the truck for 500 dollars. Tonight we got some wasted drunk dude in our yard wanting to buy the trailer for 350. The funniest part was when my dad asked him if he really needed it. He said he "Nope." Then his wife pulled up in our driveway and yelled at him to go home. Some crazy people in this town. But hopefully he can sell it full price and I can get my xbox 360 back. I hope someone buys the trailer >.< Since no one was on today, I played on imeem and added like...30 more songs to my playlist. Majority of it was for the bands: The Pillows (278-293) and Does (91-99). Also added songs for the bands: dream, Sunset Swish, Possibility, and Last Alliance. Thier in alphabetical order, so its easy to find.... if you're interested. And a couple of more Jet Set Radio Future songs at the bottom of the playlist ^^ So I think I'm going to go to bed early. Work tomorrow, blah.

I got tagged again, by Linden though. I'll do it right this time... I think....

Birthday: October 9, 1990
Birthplace: Hazelhurst, Mississipi
Hair: Brown hair that is a little past my shoulders
Tatoos: None, I want one though... but then again no. I dunno
Righty/lefty: Righty
First sport: Fastpitch softball
First Pet: Chow chow named Goldie. Still living too, 12 years.
First love: Dunno
Favorite movie: Howl's Moving Castle, and Without A Paddle.
Favorite colors: Green
Favorite band: Hmmm, too many to name, but how about: Home Made KAZOKU!!!!!!!!!!!!
Favorite song: It changes everyday. Today it's... "Point of no Return (Ketsumeishi Remix" by CHEMISTRY
Favorte restaurant: Does that include fast food? If so, Dairy's Queen for their chicken and Mushroom Swiss burger ^^
Favorite store: Gamestop!!!
Currently Admire: No one really
Currently thinking: No one's on their cbox TT
Future:kids: Who knows.
Future:living: Sociologist teacher, maybe.
Future:car: Wrangler Jeep.
Ever:cried when someone died: No one died in my family yet.
Ever:cheated on a test: No, I like to see how I do on my test when I'm actually honest.
Ever:faked being sick to get out of a test: Now I did do that
Believe in:'god': Nope.
Believe in:ghosts: Not "Ghosts" but Spirits. Pretty much the same thing though.
Believe in:aliens: Such a sterotypical word. I do believe there is more than one world out there with lifeforms like us.

I will tag no one. Jae can do it if she wants to, and anyone else. I automatically tag people who want to be tagged.

So I'm off *sigh*
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Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Depressed Once Again

Listening to: Otherside -- Red Hot Chili Peppers Time: Midnight Well, my electricity isn't off yet, but it should be at any moment. The deadline was at 5 o'clock and we didn't pay it. We tried to call my mom for the money but we can't reach her. Then he wanted to loan the 360 again but I don't think I should. Because when we both got our checks Friday, we made a deal that my check would go towards getting the xbox back and half of his check would pay off the electricity bill. I thought he paid Friday but turns out he blew his check on something else that wasn't the bill. And if I do loan my 360 out again, the same thing is going to happen again the next freakin paycheck. I don't know what to do anymore. So, the electric. might be off tomorrow for who knows how long. Also undergoing a theme change **EDIT** Theme change complete, hope you enjoy it ^^ **Edit Agian** Paid the electricity, but once again we loaned the 360 off. What pisses me off is that my dad talks about all the problems we have and how to slove them but all he does in the end is just sit on the computer looking at myspace for girls or sitting outside with his friends drinking beer. No one around the house wants to help me support the house, or help me when it comes to my problems.

I got 'tagged' yesterday by Somegirl, so I did this during the day.

1) My name is Jean! I‘ve got brown hair, I’m 5’5”, and I weigh about 95 pounds. (I’m not skin and bones, I do have some muscle from playing softball for 10 years)

2) I’m Buddhist (Don’t kill me about it) I don’t believe in God but I believe in spirits and the next life.

3) I’m a Hurricane Katrina survivor. We were in our 2 story duplex when it flooded up to the second floor. After we got out the house, we spent a week being moved around New Orleans by the National Guard. I thank my half-brother for driving 2 hours to get us out of there. And that’s how I ended up in freaking Mississippi

4) I have been so addicted to Japanese music for the past two years that I haven’t heard of these new American bands like ‘Jumping Suit Apparatus’ or ...the other new bands. I listen to the Beatles, Breaking Benjamin, Korn, Incubus, and Red Hot Chili Peppers

5) I have serious trouble letting go of the past.

6) I have plenty of acquaintances, but no best friends.

7) I turned down a really cute guy who could’ve been my first best friend and boyfriend because I thought I wasn’t good enough. Now I live each day regretting that choice and hoping another opportunity comes back to me.

8) Right now, I have a HUGE fear of returning to school. Whenever someone talks about it, I get sick to my stomach and I get depressed. As a result of that, I fear how tomorrow is quickly approaching, and I can’t do anything to slow it down.

Obiviously, the more down you went down the list, the deeper and emotional the facts became. Hope it wasn’t too much.

Soooo, I guess I’ll tag Twists of Rain, Romantica, Ryozu Miazaki, and pitchdarkhole. I’m trying not to tag people whose already been tagged. I hope the people I tag even read my post. I tag Somegirl too.... am I missing a something, Jae?

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Monday, June 30, 2008

My electricity is getting turned off so I don't know how long it will be before I can get it back. Once again, it's stupid financial problems.

Sorry
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