Tuesday, May 3, 2005

Sum something up.
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To add on why I didn't post much in my one after this. It is because I have found people like me when I am quiet. Appartenly I am to annoying when I open my mouth. So I guess I will not be as talkitve to people as much as I used to be. Also it hurts when you try to talk to someone and they never IM you back. So thats why from this moment on There are only four people I will IM first. If you want to talk to me then you IM me first that way I know you want to talk and not just say to yourself, god damn she's annoyin' I wish she'd shut up. I'm not anymore. Unless you're one of those four, you'll find out ether tonight around 10:30pm or tomorrow. If I don't IM you then that means you're not one of the four.

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Weee... 9 test all 20pages long what fun ;;x.\\
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Okay I'm gonna save some stuff for the end. Well went to bed a little after midnight then got up for school around 7-7:15 *shrugs* Time is so troublesome. Got to school and had to wait for the f***ing breakfast line to open so I could get some food. Went to Bio found out I passed my test that I failed last time. But had notes like crazy and I forgot my glasses to read the notes so I'm gonna fail the test thursday. I started to twich very badly and no one noticed. God, I hate my school. No one even asked what was wrong, meh.. as if I'd told them anyway. Study Skills I finished my math HW then put on my headphones and passed out. Woke up about 4 min before lunch. W.History, we got a lecture. Math- not much. Got guild wars today and got my hair cut. It kinda looks like mint's now. Mark-Thanxs for talking to me last night. Tol- If I can I'd like to see if I can hang out with you, and everone else again. Seth-take care sis, T.\\ I don't think I can come up friday.

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Monday, May 2, 2005

Long ago I used to have friends...I used to included in things.. but those days are gone. I walk this earth alone and left out of things.
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-Thats what i'm feeling atm. Mark I am so sorry I made you worry about me. I didn't mean to make you worry honest. I'd never do it on purpose, honest, please you gotta believe mee when I say that. I read your otaku post second period and it made me feel bad for the rest of the day. I know you didn't mean for that to happen, but that's how I am. T.\\. I won't fallow you next time, I promise. I don't like making my friends worry like that. I know you would care if I died along with Seth, but I wouldn't. I would care more if you died. You are one of the few friends I have that can cheer me up without even trying. I know seth would be heart broken if you died as would I. I've done worse than what I did, and I'm still alive and kicking, so I guess thats a reason I did it as well as another one I'm gonna post later. Just so you don't have to worry, if we ever go back to that place, I promise with all my heart that I will not make you worry again. All I wanted to do was to climb and get some of my hyperness out so I'd be quiet and not annoy people. Next time, I will only climb until you tell me to stop. So you don't have to worry about me. I guess my fun made you worry and I never wanted that to happen, so once again, I'm so sorry for making you worry. I told myself, after I almost ODed, that I'd never make any of my friends worry about me again, I know some of myotaku post's don't seem like it, but it's the truth. All I want is for all my friends, what few I have, to be happy and not worry about me. Mark promise me the next time I start to make you worry about me, that you'll come out and tell me that you're worried about me. I'll stop whatever I'm doing and go back to doing what I was doing before I made you worry. I havn't known you that long but it feels like I've known you forever. In fact I think of you more as a brother than a friend, because you seem to act like one to me. I know that I'll always be alone, but when I'm around or talking to you or seth I don't feel alone anymore, even know I am. You two are what have kept me going even after I've long stopped caring about myself. You and seth are kinda like my life, if you could call what I have a life. I know you're one of my friends, and I think I'm one of yours. But I'm unable to hang out with you as much as Tol, mint, Levi, Alora, and Eric are. So I guess I feel left out. That's another reason why I kept fallowing you. I have many more but that's the main one. I guess it's because I feel left out on a lot of things. I'm gonna end it here because it sounds like I'm trying to convince myself more than you. But I truly am sorry for worring you nii-san, and I shall never do it again, and that's a promise I'll keep even if it costs me my life. Please bro believe me. T.\\ I never ment to worry you. Okay well now that is said and done on with my days. Sunday- I went to bed around 2 and woke up around noon. I was sore and tired but I still got online. At around six I logged off and went out to some land near my house and walked around for three hours maybe a bit longer. Then my mom took me to Chile's and I didn't eat much (No one worry about me). When it got time to leave I could barly bend my arms and legs. I got home and talked to seth then logged off around 11. Notice if you will I am no longer posting my thoughts or feelings now. Monday- Well I woke up, with some help cause I wouldn't have ever gotten up. My mom gave me some meds for me being sore, and when I swallowed the water it went down like a solid. Great pain and being sore how fun. No one worry please I don't want to feel even worse than I already do. I did my same ol' at school and thats about it. Seth-Look I don't want to worry you or mark anymore so I don't think I'll share with you two as much as I used to Mark-I hope you already read your little part from me. If not it is before I posted my days. Newbeh-Now that I know you read myotaku I'll leave little comments for you ^.\\. Tori-Friday is only days away. Sethos-Thanxs for signing my GB. Mint-Lets try and hang out friday before I head down to SA. Sub- I'm gonna miss you. -Tala out

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Sunday, May 1, 2005

Budda-bite
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Well alright nothin' happened friday so Here is sat. Boy is it fun. Woke up around 9 and left at 10 to got get lala and wolfie. Then we headed to the capitol area. They had a health and weight loss thing going on. Got a lot of good free things. Okay well I got nothing to say more about that so Onto Skylarcon. Called Tol, to ask where we are meeting, it's his home phone so I got nothing, then I called Mark xD I got the wrong number so I got no where with that too. I called Vash and finally got the info I needed. Made it to the pool and meet up with Mark, Bigboss, Two girls who I no not their names, Tol and I think HedgeHoggy (sp). Well Okay, we stood around for a bit then I sat down. Everyone went to the playground and played around. I kinda was thinking about things. Mark I remembered everything you told me I just really couldn't do it then. I was walking around and I needed to cry but no tears came out so I just found a tree and climbed it. I really like how everyone didn't notice how I was being distant from everyone. I would've thought that a few of the people there would've known what that means. I got down from the tree and went to the swings again, no one being around them. I started singing a new song that popped into my head. Sonic finally showed up and so did Zappa and Limo. I just was distant for the most part while at ZP for the first part. I found a nice shaded spot and sat down, Mark walked over and finally some asked it. That really made my day a lot better I don't know if it's because he was the one who asked or if it was just the fact that it was asked. I went down to the river but people where there so I went back to the spot.Well I got out my icha icha notebook and wrote two poems, I don't think I'm gonna post them cause I'd get yelled at. Alora, Newbeh, and Sub finally showed up and we hung out for about 10min then left to go eat. Heh, I didn't eat but for one small thing and a bit of BigBoss's rice. I gotta ride in Marks truck on the way there, donno why people say he drives crazy. He cheered me up a lot. We left and went to another park and went hiking. I fallowed Mark the whole time there. Even up a rock wall. I know I should've but it looked too fun to pass up. I'm sorry Nii-san about making you worry so much when I did that. We hiked around a bit and lost a lot of people when we did that. We finally went back and then headed to the cars. I learned how to skip rocks, thanxs mark. We went back to ZP and played Red Rover and CTF. I was on Newbeh's, Mark's, Hedge's, >< I cannot remember the other people sorry. Vash and Bigboss had to leave before we started so we said good-bye. The game started and I was the first one called over and I broke through. When we called Limo over the first time he rammed my arm, x.\\ I thought it was going to brake. Next time we called him he didn't do it but the third time he did, same arm too. When we came down to the last call everyone rushed our team, Newbeh ripped through my arm, I couldn't close my hand for a bit, tol thanxs for making sure I was okay. We played CTF and won the second game and the third game. I had fun all in all. Didn't eat much, but I had a nice new energy drink I like. I saved my life when hiking with Mark. Well Mint and Levi joined us and we sat and talked a bit. I'm gettin' my hair cut mon or tues about the same length as Tol. Well I didn't find a ride so Amy had to call her dad. Hedge and I fought with my rave rods for a bit. xD this Crack-head came looking for a ride. Okay I donno why this is at the end but oh well here is goes. I have a crush on some people, maybe one, maybe two or three I ain't saying, who went to Skylarcon. I am not saying who because I have come to an unsaid promise to myself. I'll never tell another Guy I like them. Tol if you think it has anything to do with you it doesn't I came to that promise long ago I'm just gonna keep it now. So anyway if you have an Idea who you are just tell me your thoughts, if you arn't them and you still do go ahead it's nice to know what others think of me cause I hate myself. Mark-Thanxs for cheering me up at skylarcon. I owe you, i know you say I don't but I do. Seth- I forgotta add Tol and I called and gotta talk to you after CTF. Love yeah sis. I know I should leave more comments but you two are the only ones I wanna leave comments to that read myotaku. I'd leave one for Tol but I have yet to see anything telling me he reads them. Same goes for Alora, Newbeh, and a few others. Well G'Night everyone and take care. A small side note for a few people, If you ask how I'm doing irl and I say I'm fine Look at my eyes more than likey I am lying my butt off saying that so yeah never let me say that to you, if I do look me down and say I know you're lying. If I'm not I'll say I ain't but if I am then I'll tell you all thats on my mind at that time. -Tala out, G'night all.

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Thursday, April 28, 2005

Meh... I've had better days.
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Well woke up for school and left for it. For once my morning was not normal. Me: Guess what someone said in Bio class yesterday? Tiger: What? Tim: *Holds his head* Do I even wanna know? Me: *nods* Yep. Tiger: Well come on say it. Me: Someone asked If Masterbation relives stress XD. Tiger: *laughs and turns red* Tim: *blinks and looks at me* Oh really now? Does it? Me: *Laughs and shrugs* Tim: I could've lived without hearing that. Tiger: But it's a good question. *Looks at tim* So does it? Tim: How should I know? Me: *Sits down turning red and laughing.* Tiger: Well it was a guy who asked. Tim: Ask her *points at me* what the teacher said. Me: *looks up* He said it depends, I kinda just zoned out after he said that. Tim: *Leans against the wall and holds his head looking up at the roof.* Let's count the dots..One.. two... Tiger: *Walks over and runs her finger down his shirt* Me: *looks up as soon as it hits a spot* xD Tiger: *Stops and turns red* I'm so sorry I didn't mean to. Your shirts to long I couldn't tell. Me: *Dies of laughter* Well that was my morning. It was a very Gutter Minded one. Well went to my first period and tried to sleep and couldn't Next period, I had to finish a rough draft in german. I brought my lunch with me and for the first time ever I had lunch on an A day. I gotta talk with mark for a sec then minty for a bit. We had to work on our Ag record books and our meat project in Ag. English, we worked a bit more on our essey. I found dsome neet things about raves. After school I went to my first and last GSA meeting. It was the last one of the year T.\\ I wish it wasn't it was very fun. I liked it wish I could've gone to the others, damn FFA and after school things. Well after it I gotta walk home, about 2.5miles and in around 90 degree heat to boot. Yeah, I'm sunburt and tired as Hell atm but I'm ALIVE!!! ^.\\ Mark-I know you're glad I went to bed early without being forced. Take care Bro I still don't wanna lose ya as my nii-san. Seth-I know you're glad I went to bed early too. Well I'm getting a lot faster with my raving and I can finally do both the forwards and backwards one, just learning how to switch, now. Tori-Hi. *waves* Minty- Glad I gotta talk with you today. Hope I can come over after Skylarcon. Lala-Alright just be up around 10. Sub- Have fun at Newbeh's if you can go. Alora- Great AMV I loved it. Tol- Vash pulled a you and got drunk last night. Vash-Glad to see you went to bed when I said too. I bet it made you feel a lot better. -Tala Out.

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Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Bah... Old memories return as dreams.
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I wish my day was as good as my night was I honestly do. After I posted I hurt my hand. *Shrugs* It's still sore and hurts like hell but I don't really care, pain is kinda like my unseen friend. I gotta talk with all of my friends last night and the person who I'm fan girl too, yes Vic. Well I talked with mark up until about 2-3. Then I headed to bed. Today- Well I woke up at around 7 and had to rush to school cause my mom had to be at work at around 8. Well I got to school and did the same ol’ same ol’. My life has gotten very dull and boring lately. Well my first period was by far my best one. My teacher brought out this dummy thing and it had an arm broken off some asked what happened to him and the teacher replied it’s not a him. So they asked what happened to her and he replied “SHE Likes It Rough” and then a student asked if masturbation can help relive stress. I didn’t laugh, which scared me badly. I wrote new desc for all my furcadia characters Well my next period was what brought my day way below sea-level, if not more. I sat in my normal spot and did what I normally did. I finally leaned back in a corner and rested, and fell asleep. I had a dream about a day I thought I’d long forgotten but I guess I didn’t. I wanna share it with some people but I am not gonna post it out for all to see. It is just way to personal. I went to lunch and against all I said I ate, even know I wasn’t hungry I still ate. I went to W. History and got ready for a long class. Went it started I already had everything out. The teachers started talking and once more I fell asleep. I am thankful I didn’t dream this time. Well I woke up at many random times during his lecture. Well now onto math class. I fell asleep once more. No dream again I’m glad. Someone told me I looked like I was dead. The fact I almost had a seizure didn’t help that much. She also said I looked like I could fall asleep on the spot and guess what… I did. I gotta talk to Newbeh for about 4 min before he when afk. Got home, almost collapsed in the middle of the road, then got online. Mark- Glad I gotta talk to you last night, I’ll cya at skylarcon. Hope I don’t lose you as a Nii-san. Tol- Neat movie I’m gonna havta see it. Seth- *waves* hi sis. Sub, Lala-ru, Wolfie- I needa know whats gonna be going on. Tori-I know I know be happy. That’s what mark and sethy might say too. Mint- as soon as I get my DL let me know your days off. As for everyone else I didn’t mention, Hello, and take care, heh, sounds like something someone should be telling me. -Tala out

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Tuesday, April 26, 2005

okay I don't have a title today.
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Well I went to bed around 10:45 after seth went to bed. Got up and went to school and did my same ol' same ol'. First period had to met with a teacher, thats it. Second period didn't do anything but work. Lunch, don't think I did anything had a bit of candy but that way it. Third period we got a project to work on about cuts of meat. I got the chuck part. Forth we went to the computer lab and worked on our essay there. I finally chose for my social problem to be Raves. I found out someone else is doing teen suicide so th was out of it. Fell asleep in it too. Came home and got online. Thats about my day. Now time for some things to set stright. Mark-No you're not one of the people who avoide me, I understand your work hours. But I do wish someone would tell me when you come up here, if it's before 8, so I can get-together with all of you guys:Levi, mint, mint and you. Heh, I guess I owe you something else now. Cause I haven't been happy much. Mint-you don't avoid me. I know you cannot get on a lot so it's okay. *Would like to get-together before skylarcon.* Seth-You cheer me up just as much as mark does, it's just when he's on he's hard to beat cause he can do it without knowing it. Zappa-yeah you're on that list. Lala and wolfie and Sub-you guys are also my firends. Well now that that's said. I hope you all forgive me on my last post. I am sorry for all of it. I'll try never to post my thoughts like that again. T.\\ I just needed to get it out. Here is the song I wrote yesterday. Everyone:if i know you or not. Let me know what you think please. Welcome Home: By:Tala Kyo Going for a walk around my block, As I round the Corner I see in the yard, Five signs all saying Welcome Home, A tear falls from my eye as I think back about my cousin who almost never came back. Chours- Welcome Home, Six months has been way to long, a week seemed like a year, a month seemed like forever, Welcome home, We're glad to have you back. You've missed a lot of things, Some good, some not. Sally had her kid, a healty baby boy, Tom that lived down the street passed away last week, Susan and Rob Finally tied the knot. As I pass the yard, I cannot help but smile, A mom, a wife, or a sister is taking down the ribbon, The tree is singing because the yellow's gone, The girl's singing cause a loved one's back. I thank you for all you've done, No one else has done so much, You've protected our freedom, even if it ment your life, You've deserved a rest, to just relax, Just to Kick back back and get caught up on everything you've missed while away, over seas, Welcome home. *Note to everyone*I think It suxs so be honset with me on what you think. If it suxs then tell me don't lie, I hate that. -Tala out.

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Monday, April 25, 2005

   Wasting away slowly.. not caring anymore.
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Time: 8:12 Song: Travlin' Soldier. Singer: Ty England *true singer Dixie Chicks just stole it* Well went to bed around midnight, sry sethy. I get the feeling two of my online friends *not naming s/ns* are avoiding me. *Shrugs* Nothing new really, I make friends they call me a friend and then just stop talking to me and just plain forgetting me. I woke up a bit late still feeling depressed about the fact that two of my "Friends" seem to be avoiding me. Other than that it starts as a good day. I head to school and eat breakfast and just do the same ol'. A person I hang out with at school *is gonna stop calling people friends in a while and just calling them people or people that avoide me, ect stuff like that* I've made myself a promise that I'm gonna stop making friends, if i still call 'em that* after a-kon. Why make friends when they just seem to avoid you and not do anything with you? I'll only have 6-9 true friends and yes I'll still call them friends. Well I went to bio and had a test I didn't study, well okay day went bad. After the test I wrote a song called "Welcome Home." My next class I finished my world history stuff and then got on mobile no one on. So I just sat back and listened to my new trance CD. Lunch time, I just had my last lunch ever. I'm not eating lunch again. I just don't care anymore, why care when I'll always be alone. No I'm not living in the past cause I'm stating a fact. World history and we got into our Humanitcs unit. I'll do go in this cause I finally get to work alone. Math we did two worksheets and took notes. *Shrugs* same ol' day. Went home got online. No one on so I just layed down alone. Finally Vash logged on and I talked with him for a bit then he logged off to go visit his friends *sighs* I wish I could do that. Well I put my CD's into my comp and saved them so I don't havta change music anymore. Tori-You're one of my true friends Seth-Your not a true friend, you're my sister. Mint & Levi & Eric- You two are also my True friends. Vash-*shrugs* donno if you read this but you're one of my true friends. Newbeh-You're one Alora-you're one Mark-Bro i wish I could catch you online a bit more. Cause you're the only one who can really cheer me up. Tol-Just forget about all I said about liking you I think it's making you feel akward around me. I'm just glad to have you as a friend and nothing more. Rememeber that. I've got a few more true friends but cannot rememeber the names atm. Update ~* My mom just made me feel guilty about not hanging out with her anymore. I know my mom's nice and all but she is the reason I'm deperessed a lot along with other things I ain't going into. But I never tell her anything anymore she has no clue how many times I've come close to death because of her making things worse that they already where. *~ -This is Tala saying "I wish people would talk to me more instead of avoiding me." *Does and curls up in a dark place, alone*

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Sunday, April 24, 2005

Workers... Nice or just Evil? ^.\\
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Okay well I spent the night at a friends house. She has about 15 cats and knows all their names. How I don't know. Heh, well we played on the comps for a while and then she brought me home around 2. I got on right after I got home for a while. Then my mom came home and got the house ready for a friend who came over. She finally got here so I got offline and grabbed my phone and walked out of the house. I went down to some land near my house thats about 400 acres. I went off the cow made trail for once and ended up kinda getting lost. Well I called Seth after 7 and told her I felt like I was being fallowed or watch, both wouldn't surprize me. I found my way to a place that I know and walked to the pond. Upon reaching the pond I heard a kinda scream coming in the area that I just came from, so I took off running, still talking to Seth. *Laughs* I went off the trail again, this time not lost, and walked around. I walked around near some fresh cow poo. *laughs* still talking to Seth, and saw a bunny take off. I went over to a group of trees and saw a kitty. I fallowed the cat into a little clearing and saw a building being built. A worker saw me and I froze in my tracks *laughs* yes still talking to seth, and he shouted "HEY YOU, WHO ARE? WHAT ARE YOU DOING OVER THERE?" I stayed glued in my tracks and stared at him. He asked the questions again and I still stared at him. He took one step and I took off like Lightnig. I ran a bit and then stopped, *laugs* still talking with seth. I slowed my pace to a walk then headed home. I got to the place where I am to go up a hill and three dogs came towards me. I growled at them cause they growled at me. I wanted them to know if they attacked I'd fight back. The owner of them came and I ran and hid. I'm not a coward I swear, but if i can run than fight or cause an argument I will. Well I got home *laughs* still talking to seth. Well we had to hang up after about an hour and a half then I got online again. Phlinx-Take care bro don't over do it. We do seem to forget all you do I don't think I have but if I have I wanna say this. Your one of my best friends and a good Nii-san. Seth-xD that was fun cannot wait for two weeks "Hottub" Tori-see you later Mint-if your invisy and I'm mobile IM me. Tol-Take care Everyone else I hope you have a good day and don't have any workers yell at you. ^.\\.

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Saturday, April 23, 2005

Ty England: Alive and Well concert
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Well i went to bed a bit after midnight then the neighbors dogs started barking at around 3 and kept me up till a little past 5. Well I woke up a bit after 8 and got right online. No one on. Well Thats all my day. And here i thought saturday was when most people got online. Well at around 4:30 i'm gonna walk up to school aprox 2.5miles .5 is up hill. I'm gonna met Ty England a country music singer and watch him and his two opening acts then come home. Mark-Hope you had fun at six flags with Tol, Sub, and Alora. Tol- I AM SUGOI Seth-Take care I don't think we'll talk till late. Tori- same goes for you. Minty- T.\\ I never see you on anymore you okay?

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