Friday, March 17, 2006

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-SPAZZ- OMG I gotta Guinea pig. She is cute ^.^;; and soooo tiny. I think her name is gonna be Ark but I ain't sure yet. I am also hoping my mom doesn't get mad at me for getting one. If anyone wants to request a name tell me it in the comments. She is Brown, white and black. it's cute Xavier: oh dear...

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Thursday, March 16, 2006

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-blinks- I feel better today. Xavier: Hehe you can't hear outta one ear Skrew you Xavier or do I need to get Namid out here to do that for me. -grins- Xavier: -shuts up- Well yes Xavier is right... as of this moment and I hope it doesn't stay like this... but I am deaf in one ear right now... so all I can do is hear outta one ear and it is a pain in the ass.

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Wednesday, March 15, 2006

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This rose is our destiny hikisakare futari no te wa hanarete itta nemuru toki mo anata he no yume idakinagara todoke! sekai no hate made toki ni ai wa tsuyoku hito no kokoro wo kizutsuke mo suru keredo yume wo atae yuuki no naka ni itsumo hikari kagayakihanatsu hitotsu no chikara ni... This rose is our destiny michibikare futari wa ima mou ichido deau donna toki mo ano yakusoku wasurenaide yatto koko made kita yo toki ni ai kedakaku hito no kokoro wo tsuranuku you ni motome mamoru mono ni mamorareru mono itsumo hikari kagayakihanatsu hitotsu no chikara ni... toki ni ai wa tsuyoku hito no kokoro wo kizutsuke mo suru keredo yume wo atae yuuki no naka ni itsumo hikari kagayaite ai wa tsuyoku hito no kokoro wo ugokashite yuku dakara futari de iru kitto sekai wo kaeru tame ni soshite subete wa hitotsu no chikara ni naru ~Translation This rose is our destiny, torn asunder The two of us, our hands have been ripped apart. And as I sleep, conceiving my dreams of you, May they reach out! To the ends of the world.... Love can sometimes be so strong That it will wound a person's heart, but It bestows upon us all our dreams And always shines out from the depths of our courage Becoming great... This rose is our destiny, guided forth The two of us now meet once again Never forget that promise of ours, We've come this far at last! Love can sometimes be so noble, Seeking to run through a person's heart Those protected by those who protect Always shine with brilliance, Becoming great... Love can sometimes be so strong That it will wound a person's heart, but Ah, bestow upon us all our dreams And always shine out from the depths of our courage... Love is so strong, driving our hearts That's why the two of us are here To forever change the world As everything unites, Becoming one great power. Mergy, I found a new Japanese singer I like, the song posted above is one of hers. Namid: Tala -pokes- You okay? Yeah, I'm fine just still uber clogged up in the nose and voice still has yet to come back to me. Xavier: Finally some time that is silence. Oi... -rolls eyes- you're lucky I'm in a good mood dispite all that Xavier. -chuckles and gets and evil gleam in eyes- You and Namid needa go have fun and leave me alone to post for once. Namid: Oh... hehe -grins- come here Xavier. Let's go "play." Oh, don't worry I don't bite, much. -grins even more- Xavier: Uh.. -sweatdrop- I'd rather not thank you. Namid: Awr you ruin all my fun. -cries- There there namid, if he won't willingly play with you, go force him to. -hands namid some rope and duck tape- Have fun now. Xavier: Ohno... -backs up- Namid: Oh Xavy -grins and tackles Xavier tying him up then duck tapes his mouth shut- hehe, thanks Tala, we'll be... in the back if you need us. Alright, have fun you two. Xavier: -lets out muffled crys for help- Sorry what was that?? -laughs- oh well. -cough- um.. yes on with the post. Well yesterday I went to a picnic for SanJapan... there I actually, finally, saw how far apart me and some of my friends have grown from each other. It was fun don't get me wrong... I just... in a way... really wished I lived in San Antonio with them... then maybe we wouldn't have drifted. I know we still are and probably will always drift farther away... but as long as I live here in austin there is nothing I can do about that. Heh ^.^;; well okay then. Today I actually didn't complain about how I looked.. meaning me being fat... I actually liked how I looked.. despite my nose being red and my lips being a little swollen, I liked it. Starting with school coming again, I'm gonna start playing with the color guard and learning all the neet things I'll need to know for next year. With that and some things I'm not posting, because I don't feel the need to have it all public, I end this post. -Tala

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Monday, March 13, 2006

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Mood: Sick This desert wind is burnin? my face again God I'm missin? you Been runnin? blind under a broken sky With regrets I was sorting through But lesson learned baby I've made the turn Wherever you are No matter how far Girl I'm gonna find my way to you Through rivers of rain Over mountains of pain Do whatever on earth I've gotta do I'll follow the dream I'll follow my heart Girl I've gotta be Wherever you are So many miles to where we said goodbye To the street of shattered dreams I'm prayin? hard you didn?t start a life With someone who;s not me And if you're just gone Girl I'll be movin? on (Chorus) Let the sunrise find me searchin? Let the west wind carry my plea Give this changed man one more last chance Open your arms to me Wherever you are Through rivers of rain Over mountains of pain Do whatever on earth I've gotta do I'll follow the dream I'll follow my heart Girl I?ve gotta be Wherever you are Wherever you are Wherever you are Well I am going to recap my week... Monday: I got to school... only stayed in first period for 30minutes before I had to leave to go to a funeral. Namid: It's okay go ahead and keep going. Well... while at the funeral I cried... for crying out loud I cried at a funeral for a guy I bearly knew.. yet I DIDN'T cry at my dads... well nevermind I know why... reason left unsaid. Xavier: You hated your dad and was glad he's gone. No that isn't it... Tuesday: Really didn't do anything... Wed: Nothing again... Thursday: Our school and another school switch doing this thing called Shattered Dreams, this year it was our school. We got to see a fake car crash and all this other stuff... its put on to teach us kids not to drink and drive... being near spring break I doupt a lotta kids are gonna listen to that lesson. Xavier and Namid: You will. Friday: Time for the second part of shattered dreams. They put on a mock funeral... oh yeah sure go from seeing a real one to a mock one -rolls eyes- Well anyway... thats what I thought at the beginning of it. I sat there and watched, I could feel myself wanting to cry, but I didn't... then the Police chief has to bring up Steven Kincaid and that just stops all fighting against crying... then he goes on to talking about 2 other people -I- knew personally. Luran Juelg, and some other girl (I am gonna butcher her name) but I knew them and my mom knew them... so I just could hold it. Xavier: You wanted to kill some people right? You shut it... but yes I did, people where getting up and walking around durning it... I didn't like that at all. Well thats my week in a nutshell.. Right now I am to weak to talk >> YAY!! Sickness -rolls eyes- -tk

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Sunday, March 12, 2006

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Xavier: Heh Tala is to lazy to post, go figure. Namid: Xavier get lost. Xavier: Nah, this is fun. Namid: Tala allowed you to join that board to get your chattyness out. Xavier: Fine

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Friday, March 3, 2006

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Well to start things off I thought I'd introduce you guys to Namid, who will be making comments for me should I be to lazy to, he is also gonna be a crazy random one. Namid: I am not random -glares- Alright fine, he's just crazy and a bit wild. Namid: Bows, thank you. Well I am going to post a song I wrote last night and it bites... at least in my mind. Namid: don't post it Tala, it's to.. Shut it Namid, I'm posting today not you. Can’t you see (it’s hurting me) Can’t you see that It’s hurting me I long to be back in your arms again Just to be held and loved again I long to be back with you as it was back then Back before I left, back before I knew I wish I could I could just come back [Chorus] Can’t you see, it’s hurting me Every time I see you or say hello It hurts being so close yet being unable to say it How was I to know, that three little words could hurt me so much “I love you” is what I want to say Those are the little words that I long to utter again But Every time I see you in her arms Every time I hear her name I just lose it all, I just forget about me and remember us I can’t go back, I take what I did back, but lord how I wish I could [Chorus] Can’t you see, it’s hurting me That I can’t be in your arms tonight Why can’t it be like it was back then, I was happy, I could be myself, I could laugh and I could smile Can’t you see that I long for you, long for your touch The tears I cry at night when I think of you I wish I could stop these tears from falling, Just have them fade away like my pain But I know that when it happens, it’ll be the day, The day I forget about us If that happens, my heart will give, I’ll go crazy and want to go [Chorus] Can’t you see, it’s hurting me It’s hurting that we can be so close and yet so far Can’t I come back, back into your arms Can I be held by you, once again. Just like it was back then I know it can’t come true, but it’s all I wish.. Every time I see that star I wish upon that star every night, I wish that same wish every single night I want life to be like it was back then, If only I could take those words back and walk back into your life But seeing you with her, just sets me cold I can’t see myself without you, I can’t see my life without being in your arms Why can’t I just come back, back to you Cause.. Can’t you see it’s hurting me Can’t you see, it’s hurting me -Tala Namid: Fine be emo, it's not my fault this happened. You shut it -throws rock at- now hush yourself before you go back into your cage. Well... yes I don't know why but I've been thinking of Iru a lot as of late... but -sighs- on with the post. I got X-rays tuesday... I got the results back yesteday... turns out nothing is wrong with my leg... so why it's hurting I have no fucking clue... if this turns out to be like my mom's friend thing... I'll be in pain for almost the rest of my life... and to make it worse... I'll have to give up Raving... Namid: -stays quite in the corner looking at Tala- I didn't mean stay quite and quit looking at me like that. Namid: You said shut it so I shut it... You know what I ment... Namid: Yeah I did... But raving, you love to rave, it's your life and it's what makes you feel free and alive, without that... you're just going to be how you where before A-kon. Yeah I know, but I am going to have to give it up... unless you or Xavier want to rave for me... I've seen you two rave you guys are better than me. Xavier: If we are better, than we should have been let free a long time ago. But no we have to wait until you are hurt. You are a sad thing, you should have finished it yesterday. I didn't invite you to this party Xavier, and you know that the only reason I did what I did last night was because she was bitching at me, you know how she can be. But I also regreat what I did... no matter how pissed I am... I should never do that... Xavier: Heh, fine with me. But next time you do it finish it. Also she hasn't given you her name yet, I find that amusing in my own sick way. Namid: You leave Tala alone Xavier, it's not her fault. If that thing would leave her alone she wouldn't have done anything but what she normally does. Both of you Shut it -takes deep breaths. You two need to learn to shut it. I know I have. So I am ending this. Namid: -looks about and whines softly- Xavier couldn't you have let her be instead of keeping this up... no I guess not. Xavier: I thought Tala gave us an order to shut it. So I suggest we do so before we both wind up caged or chained up again. Namid: Yes, sir. -ends Tala's post as she normally would- ~TK

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Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Lookit
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Today's post is on my other MyOtaku name... PM me for it. -knows who actually reads her Myotaku because of the Little PMs she gets-

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Sunday, February 26, 2006

mergity
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I went to Sethos party... not really wanna post about it. I had fun. I wanna post a song I wrote... and FYI it sucks... Song: My world I replaced my world with an ocean my heart has lost a peice that is gone Forever more I will see, that you were perfect for me I couldn't see on that simple day when I walked from your life As the night fell upon my door I turned to look at the sky Star that shines, bright above Help guide me tonight I need my world to just disapper in the wat that never could Help me forget today and guide me back to his house Two tears fall from my eyes as I stare off into the dark Clouds far off, slowly roll above and the rain starts to fall Star that shines bright above, help my tears to cease to fall I need my heart to heal, I need that piece replaced Just remind me that he is gone I replaced my world with an ocean... one that is ever dry How many nights will I lie awake.. questioning what I did Star that shines bright above... help me find my world... -TK I guess that is all I have to say.... but the He is a female in real life... I was writing it during school and well I had to say he because it was for a project and the teacher is homophoic... meh... that is all ~Tala *

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Thursday, February 23, 2006

Don't read if you don't like ranting/emo
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Mood: Depressed and kinda Shity again Song: What hurts the most I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house That don't bother me I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while Even though going on with you gone still upsets me There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok But that's not what gets me What hurts the most Was being so close And having so much to say And watching you walk away And never knowing What could have been And not seeing that loving you Is what I was tryin' to do It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go But I'm doin' It It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone Still Harder Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret But I know if I could do it over I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart That I left unspoken What hurts the most Is being so close And having so much to say And watching you walk away And never knowing What could have been And not seeing that loving you Is what I was trying to do What hurts the most Is being so close And having so much to say And watching you walk away And never knowing What could have been And not seeing that loving you Is what I was trying to do Not seeing that loving you That's what I was trying to do Ooohhh.... At school.. I started to think about something that never had crossed my mind… what is love to me… do I confuse love for lust at times or do I confuse lust for love… I don’t know why I thought that… I just did… I know that I love two people with all my heart, one of them I wish I could give up… I wish I could let go of… but I can’t… -sighs and shrugs- This week is probably gonna end up being shity for me… Sunday, my chest was still hurting from what I did Saturday, along with my leg.. I also started to not feel good; Monday… my ankle nearly snapped, my leg hurt and my chest hurt so bad I couldn’t breath, laugh, talk, hic-up, or cough without it hurting me; Tuesday… my leg still hurt, my chest still hurt, I lost my voice for almost all morning, I had a bad coughing fit… then, I rammed my elbow HARD into the corner of a desk… Well I was going to post this yesterday and didn’t so Today.. I nearly fell on the stairs while at school… almost twisted my elbow outta its socket…. Going back to the first part of the post… I don’t what’s going on with me… even with as much worrying as I am going about my G/f… I still cannot get my mind off Iru… what I saw today didn’t help much ether… I found out that my G/f is an Ox and according to the book I was looking at… Ox’s and Dragon’s don’t mix… Well after I hung up from EJ… old thoughts started to drift back into my head… like… -shakes head- I’d get killed if I say it… I know I am supposed to call Seth, Sethos. When I feel this way but… -curls up- I don’t want to bother them with my problems… Why did Rita have to hit… why couldn’t I have waited just a few simple days…why couldn‘t I have let the words gone unsaid….what would my life be like if I had waited till that weekend… so many questions… all left unanswered… all I want to know the answer to… Forgive me… forgive me, my life… forgive me all. I know what shouldn’t be done… I know what I should do… but knowing and doing are two completely different things. I am not going to leave my life as I… kinda… wish I could… I just need a wake up call… I guess… something to let me know… know that I needa forget the past… think ahead… and just give up on things that will never come to past… Again that single thing is torn… making me feel like I am dying… inside out… the bad get worse, and when you can’t think they can’t get worse… the worse gets worse… -TK

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Friday, February 17, 2006

I feel like shit
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Mood: Shitty, emo.. Sorry for whomever my read it... Life, a game some play, Life, a battle that some fight, Life, a gift that some throw away. Time and time again I do all those things... I have yet to throw it away. I'm to cowerdly to do that, plus I know It'll hurt the ones I hold dear... even if they don't hold me dear anymore. Right now I am so fucking torn up... I don't know what to do... all I want to do is curl up in a darkened corner and cry. I'm being torn up from the inside out... starting at the heart...It's split right down the center and tearing apart. I'm happy as I have been in a while, yet I'm depressed and full of guilt and regreat... I know why I'm feeling both of those things, I also know I can do nothing about them now... Hell, -sighs and whines- I think I'm starting to go crazy... cause how the Hell can I be happy yet miserable all at the same fucking time... just someone shoot me ><.. Half of is losing it's will to go on.. yet the other part of me is saying keep going it'll get better... Ever since I got back from the cruise my social life has just been going down the drain.. I think going on that cruise was the worst choice of my life... I think... in a way... it ruined my social life. I missed so many things while I was away... I'm going to be missing a gather of my friends cause I'm going outta town again... My social life has just died it seems... aside from going from being sick for about a week and a half to having to walk on a foot that feels like it's about to fall off with every step to now... I worry what is to come next... Right now I wish I could just take away all my memories and start anew... just so I could forget everything that's ever hurt.. everything I've ever done, everything I've ever regreated... just be able to start all over again... just enough so my life won't hurt... It's been a while since I've had feeling this strong and this... -shakes head-.. it's just been a while. I know I have friends that tell me to call.. seth, maki... but as of late I've been feeling a distance from them and I don't want to bug them... I don't want to wake them... last time I felt this bad I let it all go by talking to my hamster... As if all this wasn't enough... school is killing me... making me feel worse than I should... it's enough to make me want to drop-out as I first wanted to... now it's another thing I am torn again... I... I just need a way to get away from everything for a while... yet... I'll feel like shit after because I'll lose touch with all my friends and... well I needen't say what finishs it... And to add ontop off all this... I'm becoming to wild... I bit my mom without meaning to, I just felt an urge to bite... and I bit and drew blood... shit, if I keep this up they'll deem me a danger to socity and put me in one of those Loony Bins... I belong there... I believe that I do... just... I just feel dead... inside and out.. I agree with that quote... only because it's the truth.. I've also begun to wonder... what my life would be like if those people had managed to kidnap me... if I hadn't ran what would have happened to me... to my life... it makes me think... Now for just some random icons that go along with my mood Alright thats all for now... I'm sorry for whoever actually read this all... I just needed this off my chest... I doupt anyone read this all the way, -shrugs- `tala

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