Monday, April 11, 2005

   Kill the waterfall ninja's.
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Day started off good. Got up around 8 and got ready for the picnic. Forgot my Bokkens -.\\. Left to goto minty's house at around 9-9:30am. Got there before 10, and some un-needed Visuals. X.\\(thanxs tol). Sat around the house for a while then we left to head off. Stopped at McDonalds, I got a med. coke and ONE hotcake. We ate there then we left to go back to mint's house. She forgot something. Then we left to head to SG. On our way we got some rain. I got to listin to my new Trance CD and read one of my new mangas. We stopped at a truck-stop. Mint and I looked around while our other car-mates saw a man about a horse. We left after that. Got to SG a little after noon. I got to have a Bokken fight with someone, I think it was DarkJedi. I remembered to take my meds thanx god. I walked around a bit and then got bored and ate my lunch. I hate it when you're right Mark, J/K. ^.\\. It turns out your idea about it beening a food allergy is right. I am allergic to Tuna-fish. I figured that out because I had a tuna-fish sandwhich. The other austin-boarders arrived. I gave Alora a lee keychain. Gave mint one too, not of lee though. After that I ran around again. It was hot as hell there. I found two nice places to just sit and think. Boy did I do a lot of thinking. Sethy you'll love what it is about (see car ride home part). Went down to the dry pond and watched Newbeh and Levi fight it out. Mint didn't wanna fight me T.\\ (ish unloved). Newbeh handed his Kendo stick to Tol. Tol got his thumb hit HARD. It is still red and hurts. I feel sorry for him but at the same time laughed at his pain. Went back to my spot and sat down. I don't think I've ever been so quiet in my life. Ran around again. Damn BP(blood pressure) got low so i stole a coke. Then sat back down in my spot. I got some pics I'll try and post them later. Mint, Tol, Levi, Zappa and I all left to go to the mall. Everyone but me played Para Para. Then we went to the food court and got another lunch. I neve thought McDonalds and Mall could be used in the same sentence. But, I was wrong. I got some Arbys for lunch. After that we wandered around half the mall then went back down and levi and mint played some more para para. We left the mall and went to the game place everyone from the picnic went. well almost everyone that is. Wasted a bit of my money. But oh well *shrugs*. Mint, Levi and I left Zappa and Tol to go to a gas station to get some cokes. I got a beer, Root beer that is. ^.\\. Had fun with it all. Watched people play DDR and see how much I really stink at it. Oh well all that means is I gotta practice more. We left the games to head to Mints house (or at least that's what the plan was.) Okay now to my long thought paragraph. We got into the car and started listening to my trance. I was going to sleep but a song, Holes in the floor of heaven, popped into my head. I was doing everything to get that song out of my head and that is where the thinking begains. My first thought was. Why do I cry? My dad wasn't the best dad and I have very few If any good memories of him. I stared at the sky and tears did form at my eyes. I never got the answer to that question. Then I got to the thought why did I ever put a blade to my wrists. I looked at the scars on my arms and hands that I caused. "I can never take then back, they'll never go away" was my thought. "What did I have to gain by killing myself?" I closed my eyes then re-opened them. "I have nothing to gain but everything to lose." Was my answer. "My friends would kill me if I ever killed myself." For the first time EVER i thought about that. "My death would bring me nothing, but sad and angry friends" It was on my mind way to much. "Is that what I want? Do I want to leave behind my friends? No, it is not what I want. Even in the worst of times a friend is still a friend" It has taken me this long to relize it. Alora, Levi, Mint, Tol, my sis and bro, Zappa, Bunny, Newbeh, Sub, and everyone else. Even in the worst of times you are still my friends and I don't want to leave you. See i have just now relized that. I thought if I killed myself it would end all my problems but now I know, It would only cause more. "What, did I think I'd leave this hell that I call earth for a better world someplace I've never been and with people I've never met" That's not what I want. I want to stay here on earth with all my friends. Why it has taken me this long, I'll never know. Just one of lifes many unanswered questions. Maybe that's why I was able to put the blade to my wrists but never was able to carry it out. *Shrugs* I donno and I wouldn't like to know. I have finally left my past behind me and I am looking ahead to the future. My past memories are just that past memories. I should be thinking more about memories to come and not ones that have already happened. I had a bad past and now, NOW, I have finally left it behind me. I am happy, my life has changed. I may slip into my past everynow and then. But that is better than living in it like I used to do. The past is past and should be left as such. *Bows to sethy* Thank You for helping me see it. Okay now that, that is out of the way on to the ride home. I was just thinking and saw minty getting out Levi's cell. She called Mark and we made a little side trip to go visit him. *Cheers* I have finally found someone with a room as bad as mine. Thanxs Mark now I don't feel so bad. ^.\\. Everyone was stealing Mark and Mike's Dr.Pepper. We went back into Mark's work shop and I got to see where he makes all his weapons. We went back and sat around then we left. I think I was the only one who asked if i could Have a Dr.Pepper. I am a nice guest I don't take without asking. Oh, yea I also got to see the rivalry in action. *Two thumbs up* very sweet. Tol, got called a Btich by minty. Lol. Mark I hope I didn't bug yea. I have been told I get on peoples nerves and I never wanna get on yours. I found out ether Mark or his Bro has a winner dog with the same name as my winner dog, Shatize( i know I misspelled that). Well I got on Mobile yahoo IM. Talked with Sethy and Bunny while leaving marks house. Levi, I trust your no lights night driving. Well Tol and Mint got into talking about an upcoming con in KY. We got to mints house and played N3. Tol and Mint whooped Levi and my ass. We won like two rounds then they had to drop me and Tol off at our homes. Ummm... Not going into what we talked about on that car ride. -.\\ Lets just say toooooooooooooo many,much, un-needed info and visuals. Dropped Tol off first then I got dropped off. Well that's my day and I'm sticking to it. Seth- Take care. Do NOT try to do to much. Mark- Take care now, and stay safe. Zappa-Love Ya. I am sry about at the mall and game place. I just don't act like a GF. Sub-Cya maybe you can spend the night friday. Mint & Levi- Take care. *note to just mint* xP. Well got a nasty storm, Big surprize, attacking my house right now. ---Tala out.

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