Monday, May 2, 2005

Long ago I used to have friends...I used to included in things.. but those days are gone. I walk this earth alone and left out of things.
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-Thats what i'm feeling atm. Mark I am so sorry I made you worry about me. I didn't mean to make you worry honest. I'd never do it on purpose, honest, please you gotta believe mee when I say that. I read your otaku post second period and it made me feel bad for the rest of the day. I know you didn't mean for that to happen, but that's how I am. T.\\. I won't fallow you next time, I promise. I don't like making my friends worry like that. I know you would care if I died along with Seth, but I wouldn't. I would care more if you died. You are one of the few friends I have that can cheer me up without even trying. I know seth would be heart broken if you died as would I. I've done worse than what I did, and I'm still alive and kicking, so I guess thats a reason I did it as well as another one I'm gonna post later. Just so you don't have to worry, if we ever go back to that place, I promise with all my heart that I will not make you worry again. All I wanted to do was to climb and get some of my hyperness out so I'd be quiet and not annoy people. Next time, I will only climb until you tell me to stop. So you don't have to worry about me. I guess my fun made you worry and I never wanted that to happen, so once again, I'm so sorry for making you worry. I told myself, after I almost ODed, that I'd never make any of my friends worry about me again, I know some of myotaku post's don't seem like it, but it's the truth. All I want is for all my friends, what few I have, to be happy and not worry about me. Mark promise me the next time I start to make you worry about me, that you'll come out and tell me that you're worried about me. I'll stop whatever I'm doing and go back to doing what I was doing before I made you worry. I havn't known you that long but it feels like I've known you forever. In fact I think of you more as a brother than a friend, because you seem to act like one to me. I know that I'll always be alone, but when I'm around or talking to you or seth I don't feel alone anymore, even know I am. You two are what have kept me going even after I've long stopped caring about myself. You and seth are kinda like my life, if you could call what I have a life. I know you're one of my friends, and I think I'm one of yours. But I'm unable to hang out with you as much as Tol, mint, Levi, Alora, and Eric are. So I guess I feel left out. That's another reason why I kept fallowing you. I have many more but that's the main one. I guess it's because I feel left out on a lot of things. I'm gonna end it here because it sounds like I'm trying to convince myself more than you. But I truly am sorry for worring you nii-san, and I shall never do it again, and that's a promise I'll keep even if it costs me my life. Please bro believe me. T.\\ I never ment to worry you. Okay well now that is said and done on with my days. Sunday- I went to bed around 2 and woke up around noon. I was sore and tired but I still got online. At around six I logged off and went out to some land near my house and walked around for three hours maybe a bit longer. Then my mom took me to Chile's and I didn't eat much (No one worry about me). When it got time to leave I could barly bend my arms and legs. I got home and talked to seth then logged off around 11. Notice if you will I am no longer posting my thoughts or feelings now. Monday- Well I woke up, with some help cause I wouldn't have ever gotten up. My mom gave me some meds for me being sore, and when I swallowed the water it went down like a solid. Great pain and being sore how fun. No one worry please I don't want to feel even worse than I already do. I did my same ol' at school and thats about it. Seth-Look I don't want to worry you or mark anymore so I don't think I'll share with you two as much as I used to Mark-I hope you already read your little part from me. If not it is before I posted my days. Newbeh-Now that I know you read myotaku I'll leave little comments for you ^.\\. Tori-Friday is only days away. Sethos-Thanxs for signing my GB. Mint-Lets try and hang out friday before I head down to SA. Sub- I'm gonna miss you. -Tala out

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