Thursday, May 26, 2005

Tears that never come soon turn crimson with pain...
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Okay my title is more for the end part so... well.. yeah... first parts is fine. Okay well I went to bed, no school but still had to get up early x.\\ God does the earliness ever stop. Did something then headed to the mall. Saw someone from school down in suncoast, looking for a job... they're not hiring. *looks guilty* Yeah I'm still looking for a job so my summer won't be a bitch to deal with. The bitch is my grandma in case no one could guess from my last post. Well got two new manga's and a couple of other little things. When down to gift world, bought Seth another gift x.\\ *shrugs* oh well.. you better take them seth or else. Well went to the Lakeline mall movie place and applyed for a job there. I already know I ain't gonna get it but what they hay might as well apply so I know how much my life suxs during the summer. I'm finally old enough to get a job and I doupt I'll get one. *starts ranting*.... okay ain't gonna post any of it in here. Well I went to walmart got something to eat, no lunch from school cause I had no school. *Sighs* Oh well... Just ran around the austin area near Ceder Park all day. Went to 75% off books, got nothing. Went to super target. That place suxs, got nothing. Ran around town just wasting gas, not smart I know, but that's because no one was awake or home and I DIDN'T wanna go home to my house. Well finally at around 2 got ahold of Sub and we hung out a bit then headed over to main event.. again. That place is fun well when DDR is free. Only thing I can really do, even know I stink at it. Still on light havn't gotten past a B on it. Well I stayed on it for a while then I had to head home to tell my Bitch of a grandma that I'd be out of the house for a bit. She made me get her dinner and milk x.\\ I feel like a slave in this house. After I got back I played DDR a bit more then Sub and I left for OG. IMed mark and Tol, found out they are gonna come hang out for a bit, well at least I catch him to talk. Even though I forgotta ask what I wanted to x.\\. Maybe tonight when he get's home. Well we left and did something then went to ME again, found mark and Tol there, waiting I guess. Well we found Mark first waiting for Tol who was unable to be seen.. xD not gonna say. Well we hung out for a bit, then mark and Tol went to rock climb and I guess that's when everything kinda went downhill for me. Start things off the second we walked into the room, with all the walls for rock climbing, I started having trouble breathing, I sat down cause of it and my arm started to twich, High BP, I don't take my meds anymore, cause I'm waitin for the day I have a heart attack bad enought I gotta go the hospital for. Well I got up and sat in a chair finally able to then my ankel starts acting up. God that's one pain that I cannot laugh at, normally I can laugh at my own pain but not this one. I limped, I guess, over to another black chair to watch mark and tol rock climb, I'd done it if I had socks. I'd say Tol finished at most 5 of all his climbs, mind you I didn't really watch him a lot cause mark was doin' the most difficult stuff and that was a lot more fun to watch. Well Mint, Levi, Eric and Alora joined us, really late. I had to leave in like 30min cause of the damn cerfew Main Event has for people 17 and under. Damn them, one day I shall run them all over. ^.\\. Well I watched Mark and Tol do a bit more then I had to leave. Said good-bye to all but Alora and Eric hope Mint, Levi, Tol, and/or Mark remembers to tell them that I said good-bye. Got onto DDR once more before I had to leave, my ankel is gonna be killing me tomorrow, today whatever, I don't care. Well okay.. as for the post, I well once again kinda felt outta the crowd at the gathering. Not that its weird I fell out of the crowd a lot. I mean.. well.. I mean to say I don't feel welcome at a lot of the gathering's. I know there's no reason for me to be. Those of you who know me, other than sub. Know I talk a hell of a lot less in real life than I do on Yahoo IM or AIM. But in those, as in real life, I feel as though I'm forcing you guys to talk. Which is why I guess I end up shutting up soon after it starts. Sometimes I wondering If I'm doing myself any good going to them. Well okay, getting out of that. I got home and had a pissed Grandma on my hands, so yeah that kinda dug me deeper into what was already a pit. Passed all my classes with about oh say a 70 or higher.. I think. Gotta turn in one book left. I don't really care hold me back a grade, I'm droping out when I turn 18 if you do. Well might get my DL taken up, speaking of that did you know yellow backwards is Wolley xD. Okay enough of that... just a random thing I thought I'd say. Well, I guess with no school out my life.. what i have ain't a life... will just stink up this world as I shall be home in my hellhome unless someone makes an effort to hang out with me, cause after a-kon I'm not gonna go, unless I am wanted cause It just hurts me more to be there and be left outta of things. Well I must say I am feeling better.. oddly. But even if my outside looks happy, inside I am slowly dying. I can feel it too, one of the worst types of pain one can think of. Well that ends that.. It felt good to get that off my chest. I'm sorry if I hurt any of you, I must say I am sorry, I don't want you to be hurt but I had to say that. I also must say this, I know no matter what I'll be alone. Nothing anyone can do to change it. Cause the people who I know will not make me feel that way are always busy, and cannot make time to hang out with me. Mark- Twas fun hanging out with you. I just with I could've stayed longer, I have no clue what you guys ended up doing, but I wish I could've been there. Anything to get out of this hellhome. Seth-2 full days then your 16. Wuffers- Umm.. you and mark kissing o.\\ Wow, pic I have must. Newbeh- Yep I took back the book, if you want it back try and get it. *Climbs higher* Heheh. Tori- I'm sorry I missed you, but I shall be pulling a mark and not being online as much, cause I want to stay outa this hellhome as much as I can. SD- you can help, just be a friend. I know I shall never have any at school, but I got a few outside of it. Mint- Great to see you again, sorry bout the welcome, hope my post kinda explaned about that. Eric and Alora- same for you, I don't think I really welcomed you two. I'm sorry, it's just my mind was full and I didn't think. By the time I could you two had gone off. Tol- ^.\\ We needa set a time and date for the challange. I wanna do it before a-kon, if we can. Maybe soon after, but I don't wanna wait long, I wanna kick your little butt. Heh, little joke all. Sub- cudos for today... I wasn't myself today, even when we hung out with everyone else. Much things on my mind. All else. I know I should be saying this to myself and I know mark, seth and wuffers will at least yell at me to do this after they read this post, but um.. yeah take care all. Remember I am the only one allowed to be depressed around here. -Tala outta here

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