Thursday, August 18, 2005

Second day of school... o.o
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Oh wow second say of school... and first thing in the morning... is a fire alarm... I know the person who set it off too... -wants to know why it had to be in the morning and not mid afternoon.- Well okay... first day of school I didn't mind as much but the second I hate... 5th i had english and had to do a group ativity... c.c Um... no I don't do that... Sixth... Algabra, I don't mind that. Ever since 9th grade I have been good with Math... but it shocked me how many people talked to old friends in that class... >> Okay AP US history... this is were the hell of school B day started... once again my school treadion hold steady... no friends aside from one... who I have no classes with and don't see unless I got to her house... well I wish I had more friends... I wish all those rumors didn't start about me in the 2nd grade... I wish that they didn't stay with me to this very day... Yeah you know what... half of those rumors are true... and I have no clue how they found out about it but I want to know BAD... one I know how it happened ... It was so bad in Elemetry school I only made one friend and she stuck by me no matter what... dear god I miss her... one day in 6th grade she vanished without a goodbye...no letter, wave, call, nothing... just vanished... I noticed when I didn't see her at lunch I asked a teacher and they said she had moved... so I called... no answer... only a new number... I call.. I guess this is what starts my thing for hating to call people... her mom calls us back and talks to my mom... and says the reason she moved is she hates me... my first, only and last best friend, until ushicon, has a mom who hated me and still does... I lost touch with her... I don't even know if she is still in this state... I wish I could somehow find her phone number, email or something. I really wanna talk with her again... just to know if she is still alive... I have just come to the notice that it was after she moved that I started getting depressed, and started my stage that I don't wanna talk about... but yeah... it was because I had someone who I could tell anything too and she to me... I miss that, I know I got seth, sethos, mark and all these other people but I'd really like someone who I can tell anything to in person all the time, I don't have someone like that anymore... I figured out that is why I get into these moods and all this other stuff... I also gave up trying to make friends at school as soon as she left more started along with the old ones... I guess it is because I don't wanna be hurt or left again like last time... which is why... when I go over to people's houses I try to be nice and clean and all this other stuff when their perents are around... I guess it is because I don't want their perents to hate me... Okay well that was a rant I am sorry but I really had to get that out and I feel better, a lot better, believe it or not. ^.^ Well okay yeah US History there was two girls talking about stuff only BFFs would talk about and that is what brought it on, making me relize how much I really miss her and the way I could tell her anything... I still want to know why she didn't tell me goodbye... that is what I still wanna know after 5-6 years after it happened... Well okay I bet not even half of the people who normally read myo kept reading to this point so I am just gotta cut it here and now... I just want everyone to know that no matter how bad it seems my life is getting I am bot going to do anything that could try and kill me in anyway. No shout outs cause tala feels like shit x.x I love you all <3 -Tala out

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