Sunday, December 25, 2005

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Okay... Okay.. I know I said I wouldn't post until the 28th... but I have something I really need to get off my chest... Tabby feel free to hit me monday or whenever we work together again... I know I have been acting like mine are the only problems out there... I know that is a lie. Everyone has problems. My friend is spending the night... yes on christmas... and she is on the couch.. crying cause someone who says he is her FRIEND is making her... Whenever I see that kind of stuff, I feel bad that I couldn't help them out. I'm not to be on much after tuesday... for some reasons I'll go into then... but on the 28th.. will be my emo rant.. I know that christmas is supposed to be happy... but so far every christmas I've had since I was 13 has been nothing but problems. I like christmas but I can honsetly live without it... when I was 13 the day right after I found out I had high blood pressure... when I was 14 my tonsals(sp) came out, it was kinda good.. my dad was nice for once... 15... I called the cops on my dad and he got arrested... 16.. my dad passed away... and now I'm 17... I already know what is going to happen, I have lost some of my friends already... and a bit other stuff... Really... the only present I want... is to find my first friend I ever had... All that I have left of my childhood are memories... almost all of them are ones that make me cry... If I could find Melssia again... I'd be happy. The fact I remember her name, First and last (before and after her mom got remarried) just shows how good friends we were... She became my friend after finding me cring... she had been the one who helped make me cry... and we became friends, she stood up for me when I wouldn't do it myself... we shared everything with each other... not having her to lean on when my dad was arrested and when he passed on.. I donno... Well okay.. what I want is a friend like her, one who I can trust... give all my trust to... or to find her again... I wish both would happen... but I donno if ether will happen.. I think I have one friend who might take her place... but I hardly see her.. last time I did was oni-con. I have one friend currently who is like a sister to me... but as of late I've felt distent from her... I also have an ex, I still don't like to think of her like that..., but she is my closest friend that I acctually talk to and share stuff with... I'm ranting and I'll stop cause it is christmas after all... so g'night everyone... and sorry again... Merry Christmas all.. -TK PS: please I did not post this so you'll feel sorry for me...

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