Friday, January 6, 2006

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Mood: Pissed off/Depressed Song: What hurts the most Post type: Bitchy/Ranty [rant] Okay.. well I've tried to keep my spirits high... but no.. I keep having something brought up to try and forget it... But hey I regreat some of what I did new years eve... not all of it... I can't say truthfully that I wouldn't do it again.... but hell can it just drop... sorry rokk i know you're reading this... School has little drama compared to my online/con life... I mean, someone could kill themselves at school who I knew, and I'd still call it less drama... hell nothing is as bad as my con/online drama life... Sorry for all my friends who are reading this... But i needed to say it... I have my mind drifting back to a single person... hell I donno what to do about it... I bet that person who's who they are... Okay... I am offically gonna change... maybe I'll have less drama... but I am gonna change my humor... I am hardly gonna IM first any more... I doupt I am gonna talk, first anyway, anyway... Now for something I really need to get off my chest... Kriswo... learn to take a fucking joke... just because I say the horns won by cheating.... doesn't mean I mean it... you also say that you hate me... I get the feeling it is the other way around.. if you want to believe I hate you... fine I'll hate you... so hears how I'm saying it... leave me the hell alone, online or off, until you can take a joke... Once again.. sorry for all my friends who are reading this.. I just have to get this off my chest... Maybe it would have been better if I had died instead of my dad... hell I also did 3 years ago... best christmas present I could have given my perents then... my dad wouldn't have gotten arrested... I wouldn't have to deal with my family shit... hell why I didn't do it then... no I know why I didn't... I was still believed in god and that he could help me when I asked for it... nothing like asking a million times and not get any help... to kill your views on him... I feel that Seth, Sethos and Tori are all getting more distant from me... -shakes head- maybe if I work more I'll be forgetten all together... I know that they have midterms to fuss at... but... never mind that is for them to hear... I just wish I could go back to the days... when I had my first friend and only friend... and I've just noticed something... she was my first g/f... I guess thats why her mom hated me... hell if I had been her mom, I would have hated myself too.. back then... I just want her back as a friend... My friend Amy is turning out to be like her... I spend tons of time at her house... -lays huddled in a darkened corner as Namid appers- I have a feeling this saturday... I'll be huddled in my room... all lights out save for a small one, just reading and listing to music... if anyone calls I'll answer... Namid: -watchs, just sitting there, letting the anger come out in this way instead of another way- I have a feeling my Sleep Apnea (for those who don't know what it is... it's were you stop breathing in your sleep and in worse cases kills) is comeing back worse than ever... last night I had woken up... probably just in time... I couldn't breath... my vision was already blurry... and I was cold... not wanting to do anything but go back to sleep... I kinda wish I had... I bet it happens again... [sarcasum] yay i getta go back to the doctors/hospital for another test.. [/sarcasum] wooo... Look... again to all my friends.. I am sorry.. once again... I just had to get this off my chest... [/rant] -Tk

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