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myOtaku.com: wolfdemontala
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Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Death Day
Mood:Depressed..
Well today as everyone knows, today is Valantines day, or better called Death Day. Cause an intressting fact about today, it is one of the two leading Holidays that people kill themselves on... why I know this, I don't know why I do.
Well I went to school and almost every single person had a balloon, rose or something from their loved one. That caused my depression for some reason.
The whole day I kept having thoughts about my ex and my current G/F. While in speech I wrote two depressing poems... which I havn't done in about a month now.
Black Rose
A single rose in a bush,
Black in color, yet colored in crimson,
tight blue bow wound tight,
thorns stand alone.
No leaves on the bloody rose,
a shine of white within the middle,
the blood refuses to touch.
Crimson drips slowly off the pettles,
falling to the emerald grass below,
buds begin to open,
red, yellow, white,
all roses.
Yet the black stands alone,
one by one the colored ones leave,
leave a bloody rose behind.
Sad young girl touchs it,
seeing herself in the rose,
the blood, her heart.
To the girl, she is the rose,
alone and bleeding,
hurt by the pain,
Unwanted because of it's difference.
Both longing for another to call their own,
someone, something to make them whole,
to feel wanted and alive again.
Together they are one,
Apart they are dead.
~TK
That was one of them that I wrote in speech today. I just donno...
Its phony, I have someone yet I am still depressed. I guess... no I don't know. This is still the day I really want to die, even know I have someone. I didn't even get anything from a friend while almost all of my other friends got something.
I...I hate to say it, but I don't know if I could have made it through today if I didn't have EJ. Even know I thought about my ex, i know EJ is the one I have now. I guess why I thought about my ex it was because of the day it is and the fact I still love her. I know deep down I'll never truly be over Iru but... -shakes head- I also know that the past is past and should remain as such. Even know the past leaves scars, sometimes healing on the surface but staying raw just under.
Fuck, before I start going crazy I'm gonna end this...
~TK |
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