Thursday, April 7, 2005

Gender Fiasco
Everybody was minding their own business’ when Envy burst through the door with a mind-boggling question. “I can’t tell what gender I am!”

“That was a statement.” Ed huffed.

“Oh, fine, a mind-boggling statement, sheesh!”

“Is that all, you’re a, umm, you’re…” Farman trailed off. “Barry!” Barry the Chopper ran into the room with a meat cleaver, no, wait, he ran into the room wearing a doctor/psychiatrist/psychologist’s coat.

“Why him?!” Ed yelled.

“Because he’s a doctor/psychiatrist/psychologist.” Farman sighed.

“But wasn’t he,”

“No spoilers!” Farman groaned staring around.

“Fine, I guess they’ll just have to wait till the twenty something episode.” Ed huffed. He was immediately shushed.

“Ok, let’s find this out quickly, I need my coffee!” Mustang yelled.

“Ok, we’ll just have to go through the questionnaire.” Barry said grinning evilly as the meat cleaver shone in his pocket. They eyed him funnily.

“Ok then.”

“Number one, what do you think of this picture?” Hues gushes shoving a picture of his daughter in Envy’s face. Envy takes out a lighter and puts it under the photo. “No!” he cries running around like a maniac.

“Well, I think he’s a woman,” Havoc explains, “She’s wearing a skirt.”

“It’s a skort!” he/she huffs.

“Exactly.”

“He could be a cross dresser.” Breda points out.

“True, and he’s flat chested.” Fury adds.

“She could just be undeveloped.” Havoc scoffs.

“Ok, next question,” Barry added “What do you think of the color pink?”

“It matches my eyes.” He/she gets looks “What?!”

“He’s a she.” Al sighs. Hues recovers from the burning picture fiasco and walks in wearing a pink shirt.

“What?!” he exclaims. “It was a present from Mustang!”

“Moving on!” Al hastily suggested.

“What do you think of this!?” Armstrong rips his shirt off.

“Scary!” Envy flinches.

“No one can resist my charms!” Armstrong flexed.

“Ok, here you go.” Ed says giving Envy two magazines. Envy stares at both of them for a few minutes.

“I can’t decide!” Envy cries as he faints.

“What did you give him?” Roy asks.

“Porn,” Ed shrugs. Winry runs in.

“There’s my porn!” she storms off with her magazine and shoves the other into Ed’s face. Hawkeye storms in.

“What are you idiots doing?”

“Trying to find out Envy’s gender.” Fury gulps.

“She walks over to Envy and gives he/she a swift kick to the groin.” He/she shriek/whimper/cries.

“He’s a guy.” She walks off.

“Why didn’t we think of that?” Havoc asks.


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