Thursday, March 11, 2004

Confused, Angry, Stressed.

Guess what, the long March break has just begun for me, but that does not keep the stress from going away just yet. Translation: I just got my report card. Correction: My parents got my report card. Ok, so I can understand their line of thinking behind this, I guess, but they seem unusually intense about me studying at home. Just a few minutes ago, they were giving me grief about how my report was two or three points lower than usual. I also came close to failing Science. I suppose I can understand their line of thought, the reports drop some, so that means that Vincent is not doing as much work as he should at home. Except...they make me feel way too pressured when they ask me to come down to "talk", about my report. They insist on knowing exactly my line of thinking behind each of my marks, and I feel somewhat stressed trying to explain what happened during the course of my entire school year. I suppose it's reasonable to say the least, and I can understand that my parents care about me and only want to help, but a side of me still repeats "this is ridiculous," everytime my parents ask me exactly why I happened to drop about 2 or 3% in my marks. (I suppose that is quite a bit, but it just gets to me how they want so many details.) Ok, maybe I should try to explain my side, first. Generally, I see my four reports in a year as a sign of exactly how I'm doing, and what steps I might take to work on improving during the course of the year. Except...my parents take it far more seriously that I do. I'm not sure, who is being ridiculous here? Me? My parents? Who? What can I say? I try to do my work, I try to study sometimes when I know I am having trouble with a subject, and I don't exactly try to "sweep under the carpet" so to speak, but I take each test as it comes and use them as signs to tell where I am going. However, maybe I don't take it seriously enough, but there's still that side of my brain that tells me that I am working hard and things will work out better. Am I being unneccessarily complacent? Am I trying to work too hard? Ok, maybe I'm not making a lot of sense here, and I can understand why it would be difficult to try and talk to me about this without actually knowing what my life is like at home, but I want to ask you this: Do your parents breathe down your neck about your reports often? What do you feel about how people react to your grades? Does something like this make you angry? Stressed? Am I being just plain immature? I really don't know what to say at this point, I would just feel better if someone would say something about this. It is nice to hear from a different perspective, and since this little episode is so fresh in my mind, I think it's probably best to write about it, as I am now. Ok, I have a sore throat, I'm thirsty, it's bedtime, and tomorrow, I'll be waiting for the next bomb my parents are going to drop on me when they come back from parent teacher interviews. Just why does life do this to you just when you think you're home free? -Won-daa-shot

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