Monday, June 13, 2011

AHHHHH, MORNING.

I so sleepy. -_-

Didn't do anything interesting last night. Saw a bunch of movies with Josh: Kindergarten Cop, Batman & Robin (which SUCKED), and King Arthur.

WHO EES YOUR DADDY AND WHAT DOES HE DO??!?!!?!?!

Ugh. I'm talking to myself more and more lately--sometimes I even talk to myself about talking to myself.

I used to do it all the time when I was little, but I slowly grew out of it--and now I'm shrinking back into it. '-___- Arrrgh.

I'm going insane--and not in a good way.

Going to go sulk now.

ily
~Belinda
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Sunday, June 12, 2011

Its mine and Josh's four month anniversary today. It's weird.

I can't believe it's only been four months, yet at the same time I can't believe time went by that fast.

I've realized something. Rich people never like me. Well, almost never-my friend Jeremy and his parents are pretty high in the monetary levels and they like me, but they were a different kind of rich people. They weren't fake or stuck up.

I don't know. For whatever reason, most people who own really lavish and glamorous stuff tend to dislike me--which will make life very interesting when I become the next J.K. Rowling and am rolling in the billions of dollars my books will bring in. That won't be for a while though.

Actually, with my luck I'll probably end up one of those authors who doesn't see a cent from her art until she's dead and then everyone thinks she's a genius. I think Picasso was like that--he lived in poverty and then when he died his work sold for millions.

OH IRONY.

OH. CHANGE OF TOPIC:
Emily/insane rascal turned 19 yesterday and had a Ke$ha-themed birthday party which I could not attend because it was all the way in Missouri. So I told I'd be with her in spirit and therefore I sick-and-sexified myself:





ANNND so far that is all.
ily
~Belinda
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Thursday, June 9, 2011

No one will ever understand me completely and honestly that's okay. It's nice to have a bit of mystery every now and again--but how much understanding do I really need? How much should I expect? How much misunderstanding should there be before I start to worry?
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Sunday, June 5, 2011

Guns and hatchets,
Foam and plastic.
I need, I need a priest or a real gifted exorcist,
But I'm stuck at Walmart with nothing but a cross, a crucifix, and several shiny toy guns.
God, we both know where these hands have been, there's no need to pretend,
So could you please call off these zombies and vampires for one damn second so we could talk?
There's nothing worse than being drowned in a legion of demons when you're trying to pray.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
^ First half-decent thing I wrote in a while. Been on a bit of a hiatus, unfortunately... or fortunately depending on how bad that poem actually was. It sounded less than horrible when I wrote it in my diary, but knowing me I'll probably go back in the morning and beat myself up for posting it the rest of the day.

It's almost midnight here. The house is dead.

I wanna work on this story I started a year and a half ago, but word processor isn't working on this crappy computer. :< Sadness.
ily
~Belinda
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Tuesday, May 31, 2011

   whats my age again?
Today i dont feel like doing anything... except everything. I BLAME THE HEAT, but the heat blames me because apparently im just that hot.
And my thoughts are a cluster.
And my feelings are a tangle/
Im stock straight but im anything but linear.

DA DA DOWN DOWN DOWNWARD SPIRALLLLL~~~

Im a little less and a little more than a whore but mostly more.
His mom calls me immature... argh.

Im so tired n so sleepyyyyyyyyyy @.@ ftdyuiigderukk....

on my little sisters dsi right now. didnt know they could go on the internet...
ily
~Belinda
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Sunday, May 29, 2011

gyubgreukerwk... SLEEPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. Just got back from the pool about an hour ago. Spent most of the time at the pool with Margaret, prank-texting her ex. #FUNTIMES.

According to Josh, I have Lara Croft's ass. I kinda doubt it though because that's impossible. Nobody has an ass that perfect.

Is it weird that I'm completely straight but I sometimes get impossibly turned on by sexy female videogame/cartoon characters? Yeah, probably.

Emily, I showed Josh the Pterodactyl essay I wrote back when we were dinosaur hobbyists and he claims Digimon came before Pokemon but I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT because it makes me sound less smarticals and that's never a good thing... Although he does it quite often.

And I'm like STFU,SMARTPERSON.

Last day of my high school career was Friday. It was incredibly anti-climatic. Everybody was like:

OHAI, BELINDA, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S YOUR LAST DAY WE'RE GONNA MISS YOU GIMME A HUG LETS PRACTICE GRADUATION OKAY NOW COME THE PICNIC AND EAT SOME FOOD AND TALKTOPEOPLE, OKAYBYE....

And then I walked to the bowling alley in 80 degree weather and waited for my mommy to pick me up.

Then I hung out with Josh and had a less than ideal time.

Firstly, I brought along Folie a Deux to listen to in the car on the way to his brother's house and he suggested Patrick Stumps voice had been altered on the album via studio tricks as opposed to him just being a vocalist god, as anyone will tell you he is.

Secondly, his brother was being all down and depressing and stuff, which I understand because he obviously couldn't help it, but then it made me more susceptible to a depression relapse, if that makes any sense.

Thirdly, his brother threw us out of the house for an hour so he could have sex with his girlfriend and so Josh and I had to hang with his neighbor, who was being a TOTAL douche to me--he managed to undermine any self-esteem or confidence I arrived with within the first 10 seconds of meeting him and reduced me to tears within the first 10 minutes--and Josh, although defending me at certain points, for the most part just sat there and joked with him.

We made up after that, but still...

I don't know. Part of me feels like it's typical because Josh is a guy and all guys are to some degree emotionally retarded but another part of me feels like he choose to try to impress that asshole over defending me, which is not cool.

Then again, I was on my period at the time, so I was somewhat of an emotional wreck so I really can't be sure.I was probably just being an overemotional pansy like I usually am.
I don't know.
Here's a bunny.

ily
~Belinda
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Monday, May 23, 2011

Last time I posted it turns out I was worried for nothing. Margaret, her boyfriend Jeff, and I babysat my little siblings.
It was fun.

Just failed a math placement test in the worst way possible. Like, dayum, I knew it was bad, I didn't know it was THAT bad.
Anyway, this place smells like cigarette smoke so I'm going to go home and feel sorry for myself now.
Bye.
ily
~Belinda
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Saturday, May 21, 2011

Margaret asked if I wanted to hang today and I almost had a panic attack. Literally. This is not good.

Still, I'll see how I feel after I get dressed and take my medication, but right now I'm scared. I don't know of what, but I am.

I feel like I'm being hunted and the second I turn my phone on or log onto facebook, a bullet will careen through my skull.

I've never been this terrified.
ily
~Belinda
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Monday, May 16, 2011

So prom:

Me trying not to stab Josh putting on the flower-pin-lapel thingie.

Us being all cute and stuff

And my prettiful hair. :D

I was supposed to take more pictures at the actual prom and I tried but the lighting was all screwy and this stupid computer wont let me upload them from my phone so byergh. :(

Josh and I spent more time cuddling than dancing--well, dance-cuddling. I kinda wish we wouldve danced more but honestly it wouldn't have been that fun even then because it was so crowded and the DJ was shmeh. Or maybe I just wasnt in the right mood? I don't know.

Anyway, he informally proposed to me. It was more of a pledge to propose to me actually.

He was sniffling so I jokingly said he might be allergic to me and he said "That might be a problem when I put a ring on your finger in a year."
At first I thought he was just saying it to be sweet but later in the car when I told him to never leave me, because I was thinking of how Margaret's ex left her after making her fall in love with him, he told me he was dead serious about proposing to me.

It probably won't be a year. I'm not expecting it to be but it's nice to be happy and know I'll stay happy in one area.

Oh! My computer has repented and given up it's douchebaggish ways and here are the other pictures.


Josh looking evil

Josh eating me

Josh half-smiling AND MATCHING THA CHAIRS, OH EM GEE.

The sexy tattoo I got at after prom. (Note the chips ahoy and other goodies in the background.)

A general picture of afterprom

The creepy, foggy Scoobie Doo-esque outdoors.

Annd my shoe! :D
ily
~Belinda
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Thursday, May 12, 2011

lolololololololololololol

I'm an idiot. XD

Just filled out a bunch of paper work and waited for almost half an hour to take a test for college and when they finally called my name, I realized I didn't have any ID on me.

Corn: No oops baby is definitely a plus at this point. And my life's a gift. I would never throw it away for anyone--not even David Hasselhoff, who we all know is the original sex muffin. I get out of school in a little under two weeks, but every day feels like a year. I almost cried when I realized I had to go to school tomorrow. And I'm honored to hear your crap. :D

Lestat: Well, at least she's getting help... There's not much I can really say. I hope this all gets resolved one day though.

Emily: LETS DO IT!!! :D


Oyyyy.... One more day and I can sleep and dance and have pretty hair. '-__-

I wanna get outta here so bad.

My teeth and jaw have been hurting.

And Stephy (alphonse13) drew an awesome picture of me but photobucket is being a bitch and wont let me post it.

ANNND I don't really have anything to say right now. :/
ily
~Belinda


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