Tuesday, May 10, 2011

I have a flair for the mundane
Okay, so:

1. We did not have sex.

2. When I say "I want to marry this guy," that does not mean I plan on throwing my whole life away for him. What I mean is, I really, truly love him and it would be awesome if we lasted forever-forever instead of high school/college forever, which is about a year.

3. Dayum, Lestat. You were almost dead on about this one... He is the youngest, but he's not in high school. He's in college. It's only a two and a half year age difference though.


So I met Joshes ex today. She's almost exactly like me, but bitchier and more intuitive and sarcastic... and frecklier. :P

Gotta make a PSA in Spanish about drinking and driving. ARRRRRRRRRRRGH.

Oh. And prom is this saturday. THANK GOD. I want it to be over. I feel like once prom's done, the year will go by so much faster... or the two weeks til the end of the year rather. :D

But then I have no idea what I'm doing over the Summer. Besides Josh and myself, of course. :/

Here's a llama.

ily
~Belinda


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Thursday, May 5, 2011

UGH.

Somebody shoot me. Please?

I fucked up hard core.
Hung out with Josh. We thought his mom was gone so I teased the hell out of him until he agreed to take me up to his room. We fooled around.

But then his grandmother called him down and I had to hide, which started this whole thing which resulted in him trying to sneak me out and failing and his mom discovering we were in his room and her suspecting--and voicing these suspicions to her husband out loud not 10 feet away from me--about how much of a whore I am. '-__-

Fuck me.
Fuck her.
Fuck the world.

All this because I couldn't wait til Friday to make out with him.

This very second she's probably telling him how much of a whore I am and how I'm the worst decision he ever made and blah blah blahbitty blah blah.

He told me not to worry about it because she's apparently hated all his best girlfriends, but I do worry.

I actually plan on marrying this guy. And when you marry someone, you marry their family too, and so I obviously want the family to like me.

But that's obviously not gonna happen.

Oh well. It was nice while it lasted.

Guess I should start assembling a mountain of comfort food and video games and put my therapist on speed dial for when he finally dumps me.

That enough angst for everyone?
Me too.
Here's a kitten:

And for dog people:

And for lonely people in desperate need of porn:

Enjoy.
ily
~Belinda
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Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Best That's What She Said Moment:

"Use your hands, guys, not your mouths!"--My tech ed teacher trying to find a creative way to tell us to shut up.

Best OH EM GEE STUPIDITY Moment:

"It's like... the perfect balance of moisture and hydration!"--Obvious non-actor in Proactiv commercial trying and failing miserably to articulate the utter awesomeness that is face-washing.

Wore a dress and heels to school just because I can and I'm Italian so obviously I enjoy being the sexy mothafucka that I am. Was more than a little amused by everyone trying to hide their me-induced boners throughout the day... and then trying to tell me my ensemble wasn't appropriate out of pure, unadulterated jealousy. (LOOKING AT YOU, TYLER.)

I've been incredibly bipolar all day. I swear, I really do go crazy when I have my period.
STUPID WHOREMOANS.... hormones...>.>

Waiting for my mommy to pick me up from CCBC.
I haven't driven since winter. This is some serious bullshit.

Will the bullshit ever end? I don't think it will, but luckily most days it's not that noticeable so AH WELL.
Gonna go ingest massive amounts of comfort food now.
UNTIL TOMORROW, MY CHOCOLATE HONEY BON-BONS~
ily
~Belinda
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Monday, May 2, 2011

   I'M EIGHT-FUCKING-TEEN TODAY, MOTHAFUCKASSSS!!!!
Responses to comments:

Stephy: As far as college goes, that's exactly what I expected. I'm kinda dreading it, but I know I'll survive. I mean, I've been taking AP Classes, which are pretty much college classes in high school, for two years now. I don't expect any coddling or babying. It's all on me, and I know it's going to be hard, but that's exactly as it should be.
I also know exactly what you mean about life being a demented, dark roller coaster too--but we have to enjoy the ups while we have them, and, damn it, I'ma make this summer the highest up ever. :D Gonna go melt some braincells.W00T!!

Corn: Pshhhhhh! Speak for yourself. I'ma fnger-paint til they take my fingers away. :P FOSHO. Expecting adults to be nothing but culture and sophistication is simply not fair. We like to have fun too, damn it. That's why places like Dave and Busters exist--it's like an adult Chuck E. Cheese without the tickets. And besides, I really don't think I'll ever be an adult according to the "scocially acceptable" definition. I'll always watch cartoons and swing on swings. That doesn't mean I won't get my shit done too--and as long as I do, why should anyone care?

Other than that, not much else to report. I'm hanging out with Josh after school today. He's been really sad lately because his fourteen year old dog, Wish Bone is being put down today. :( I was over his house yesterday and the poor dog could barely breath and kept having seizures. It was really heart-breaking to watch.

More bad news: I got a D in English. Well, a D+, but still... Luckily, it's only an interim so I still have time to fix it.
I'm signing the interim myself. The school's probably going to throw a huge bitch fit about it, but there's nothing they can do. Now that I'm 18, it's legal.
ily
~Belinda
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Sunday, May 1, 2011

SOOOOOOO this weekend was alright.

Partied with Josh.
Partied with Margaret.
Obviously not at the same time or in the same place but oh well.

Tomorrow's the big day--the descent into mediocrity, er, adulthood. I can't tell the difference anymore.:/


A while ago, my mom wanted me to do this summer program called MAST to help me get ready for college. It's for kids with learning disabilities, but fuck that. The entire time I was there two Thursdays ago, they completely patronized me. Treated me like a retard.

And then they try to tell me how good this would be for me and how much it would help me. Again, fuck that.


I'm not trying to be arrogant, but hey. I'm ME. I went from a class of two to a class of over 2000 in a month and survived all four years with the latter. I've had my heart stampeded on countless times and super glued it back together--and I got poems published and near-masterpieces written and stellar grades earned practically the entire time.
I've done a lot, and I'm not saying I don't need help or I didn't have help, but I definitely don't need theirs.

HAPPPY BIRTHDAY, STEPHYYYYYYYYYY!!! :DDDDDDD
I LOVE YOUUUUUUUU

ily
~Belinda
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Friday, April 29, 2011

Corn, your right.

It's my damn birthday, I shouldn't have to do a damn thing--so I'm just going to go out one day with a bunch of friends and my boyfriend and have a hot, crazy haze of a fuckin awesome time and call it a day.

I don't expect much and I don't want much--I can't, I'm going to be 18 next week. I'm too old for that idealist, over-optimistic BS.

Right now, I'm supposed to be typing up my notes for this theater arts project. My groups doing Bunraku theater. It's actually pretty epic--like a soap opera, Japanese Muppets for adults. Think Avenue Q without the singing and laughs and Gary Coleman. :P

And Corn, don't worry about it. I know exactly what you mean. There are some things you just don't post about.
Talk to you all later.
ily
~Belinda
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Thursday, April 28, 2011

Vignette's coming out today.

I can't believe it's today already. Like, where the hell did those last few weeks go?

I get to read onstage--which will hopefully be more of a performance than a simple reading, but I didn't have a chance to practice at all, so we'll see.


I did stage makeup on myself today, so I kind of look like a pornstar drag queen. It's pretty sexy.

Birthday's coming up on Monday. Have no idea when I'm having my birthday party because everything going on on all the upcoming weekends.
Talk to you all later.
Bell's about to ring
ily
~Belinda
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Sunday, April 24, 2011

HAPPY EASTER EAVERYONEE!!!
Spring break is almost over. :( I have tomorrow and then I go back.
Been hanging out with Josh almost every day.
Tomorrow I'm going to be at his house all day. Lots of snuggling to be done and making to be outed.
Margaret and I are talking. I spoke to my therapist about the whole deal and she said our friendship isn't ruined, just altered, but when I hung out with her on Thursday it didn't feel very different. Maybe a little bit in the beginning, but once I relaxed, it was the same old, same old and thank God. I don't handle major change too well--especially when it's so sudden.

My parents got me a new phone. Tis hella sexy. :D It's a Verizon Intense II. Not that anybody really cares, but it pretty much made my week so... *shruggeth*

Also I really like the way British people say "princess." They place the emphasis on the second syllable so it's kinda like "prin-CESSSS." Like... they hiss it almost. I don't know. It sounds cool.

Corn, thank you for the Hasselhoff porn. I orgasmed the second I saw it. :D

ily
~Belinda

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Sunday, April 17, 2011

Is my language gibberish just because I'm the only one who speaks it?
If you don't understand, sit back down.
I'll let the gun to my head try to explain.
Ah, Ah, I'm a leper in a tomb.
A corpse in a womb,
So push and pull me out, throw me down, and start shoveling.
You can light all the fireworks you want--you'll never penetrate the darkness beneath my skin.
Trust me, I've been trying for the last 17 years.
Maybe lucky number 18 will let me go out with a bang.
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So I miss having someone to text and go shopping with and my throat hurts and Josh is pouting because I'm too sick to go hiking today and my stomach is either always empty or bursting at the seams because I think I might be getting an ulcer...

But other than that I'm just dandy.

I have to do a poetry explication thing for English over break and I'm NOT looking forward to it. I hate doing anything technical or analytical... hopefully I can bullshit something kinda clever though. :/

Urrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh. '-__- I don't feel good. Stupid hurty throat.

Plus I'm horny.
SEND ME NOODS, EMILYYYY! (jk...sorta. lol)

Argh. Every time I hang with Josh now I just want to tackle him to the ground and... Yeah.
Making out with him is the only time I'm not depressed or in pain now. It's like a narcotic.

No, actually, it IS a narcotic and I can't get my fix.

I can't write anymore. My thoughts are too clustered and I'm dizzy.
ily
~Belinda
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